Darling?
Miss me?
Email from Popeye. I do miss him a little. But everytime he asks for a dirty picture, that feeling is immediately extinguished. Funny thing is, if he didn't actually ask for it, I might have already sent some just for a tease.
xoxo
Showing posts with label email. Show all posts
Showing posts with label email. Show all posts
Miss Me Much?
Darling?
Miss me?
Email from Popeye. I do miss him a little. But everytime he asks for a dirty picture, that feeling is immediately extinguished. Funny thing is, if he didn't actually ask for it, I might have already sent some just for a tease.
xoxo
Big gurls RULZ!!!!!
I received this mesage not too long ago and was deeply touched. One thing I would like to clarify once again, is that I am NOT trying to glamorise the life of a social escort, and far from trying to influence people to do what I do... because we're all adults who can make our own decisions and shoulder its consequences.
My blog is simply my outlet to vent some frustrations and share a lil bit of my happiness while I think aloud and try to sort out this identity crisis I have going on in my head.
If in any way I could have any influence, it is to believe in yourself, have self-confidence and embrace our big-ass curves. The world is so big and it is just waiting for you to explore it. Life is more than just going to and fro the office, more that just the Chinese, Malays and Oompa-Loopas. Life is a playground if you know how to play it well.
Thank you, love. And remember what I told ya... believe in yourself! Big gurls RULZ!!!!!
G.R.I.N.D. (Get Ready It's a New Day)
I've been on my grind
I can only grind for so long
I am not too excited about rap and hip hop but lately a few songs have made their way into my mp3 list on repeat-mode. Perhaps its the catchy tunes and for this particular song, I pretty much like the lyrics. But songs aside, I have pretty much cooled down since that upsetting episode last Tuesday.
You see, I'm not like a tyrant, gangster or have any associations with the mafia (though sometimes I wish I do). All I want is to 'share the love' and not to create or bring trouble to anyone. I'm pretty harmless. Unless you step on my toes.
The very next morning, Marcus dropped me an email, teasing me as usual. And I thought to myself - See, I can't let that fugly douchebag belittle me and put me down. I won't dirty my hands by touching him. I'll just let the prossies at Desker Road spit on his face. *ok breathe... breathe...cool down*
Last night I had a wonderful encounter with a Scottish engineer who was travelling on business, putting up at a 5-star. My first Scottish dude. Let's call him, errrm.... Scott.
Scott's booking came in at very short notice. I received his email while having dinner and a few emails later, we sealed the deal and I met him in his room at 9pm, on the dot. This must be the first time that I am punctual.
He was such a gentleman. Older guys usually are. But Scott wasn't like wrinkly or anything. I'ld say - mature. We spent a good 15 minutes talking, getting to know each other and I can't help but grin when listening to him talk. All this while, I thought people have just been exaggerating the Scottish accent. But in fact, that is exactly how they speak. Luckily I could still make out what he was saying in that accent which I found rather endearing.
And sex would naturally feel better when two people feel connected mentally. This guy really knew how to pump me hard! Perhaps Scottish dudes are naturally good lovers? I know the Dutch are.
Scott even gave me some extra on top of my usual rates for my cab fare home (see, that is what real gentleman do!) and being thrifty ol'me, I still took the train home. (No, actually cos I just bought yet another pair of shoes and some lingerie, and would feel bad taking the cab. Heh.)
And this morning, I was greeted with an email from Scott.
All I can say is, if you love your job and good at it, it shows effortlessly.
When I was on my way to meet Scott, I realised one thing. I realised how when I first started, I needed time to mentally prepare myself, play the scenario in my head, before I can go meet a client while still feeling a bit nervous. But these days, I find myself much more relaxed. When a booking comes in, I screen them and if they seem alright, I'ld doll up and when I enter the room, my body just goes into auto-pilot. It's like whatever emotional-baggage is left at the door, and a totally different person goes through that door - sexy, self-confident, submissive but in-control.
Perhaps that is why I still love doing this and somehow never once found it exhausting (except for the occassional down-sides). I guess its almost natural for a Gemini who's known for their dual personality. Actually I find it even more exhausting if I have to be only ONE person. I once thought I had an identity crisis and tried to curb it but always felt like there was another side of me that was screaming to be unleashed.
Perhaps I've finally found myself. Both of them.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Yea yea yo yo this one's for the people
All the B's that'll bleed and they sleep and they eat
Shit believe the thought we're all equal
Ain't a man on God's green be underneath any other
I don't wanna play preacher
But but I swear they turn their ear when we talk about peace and love
Sometimes might need a hug yea we all wanna come on up above
But this ain't about Jesus, no way, no Abe, no Ike, Moses or Mohammed
Yea it's all about believing, full steam ahead
Because I know the worst times are behind me
I don't wanna sound cheesy but but but I just a really mean it eh eh yea
I'm tellin' I can feel it eh eh it's the reason I was sleep
I be way too geek tonight
This one's for all of y'all
I'm the same as all of y'all, I'm on my shit
I work real hard and all for every little bit that I get
But this is all I need, so sing this song with me
It goes like
So it sounds like this e'rybody start clapping your hands
It's like, it's like
Chorus:
IIIII, I've been on my grind
I can only grind for so long
(go [6X] )
IIIII, I've been on my grind
I can only grind for so long
Bout time to change a few things
We enslaved to the bank and we only wanna buy new shoes
The way that we think
We can do anything that we really wanna put our minds too
The American dream, the dream is a pyramid scheme, scheme
And it feels outta reach when it's hard and times are tough
But change starts with us yep, yep
We all want freedom yea to be who we be
I don't wanna be afraid when I speak to say what I'm feeling
Yea together we're strong but divided never been so weak
It's time we get even, yea yea, and really what I mean is, is, is
This change I can feel it, yea yea, Mr. President I think it's all gonna be O.K.
This one's for all of y'all
I'm the same as all of y'all, I'm on my shit
I work real hard and all for every little bit that I get
But this is all I need, so sing this song with me
It goes like
So it sounds like this e'rybody start clapping your hands
It's like, it's like
(Chorus)
So it's not about fame, and fortune
It's about believing and believing in yourself
And understanding that this life is life
It's liberty and the pursuit of happiness
And happiness isn't about getting what you want all the time
It's about loving what you have
So get ready it's a new day
(Chorus)
:: Asher Roth ::
READ MORE » G.R.I.N.D. (Get Ready It's a New Day)
I can only grind for so long
I am not too excited about rap and hip hop but lately a few songs have made their way into my mp3 list on repeat-mode. Perhaps its the catchy tunes and for this particular song, I pretty much like the lyrics. But songs aside, I have pretty much cooled down since that upsetting episode last Tuesday.
You see, I'm not like a tyrant, gangster or have any associations with the mafia (though sometimes I wish I do). All I want is to 'share the love' and not to create or bring trouble to anyone. I'm pretty harmless. Unless you step on my toes.
The very next morning, Marcus dropped me an email, teasing me as usual. And I thought to myself - See, I can't let that fugly douchebag belittle me and put me down. I won't dirty my hands by touching him. I'll just let the prossies at Desker Road spit on his face. *ok breathe... breathe...cool down*
Last night I had a wonderful encounter with a Scottish engineer who was travelling on business, putting up at a 5-star. My first Scottish dude. Let's call him, errrm.... Scott.
Scott's booking came in at very short notice. I received his email while having dinner and a few emails later, we sealed the deal and I met him in his room at 9pm, on the dot. This must be the first time that I am punctual.
He was such a gentleman. Older guys usually are. But Scott wasn't like wrinkly or anything. I'ld say - mature. We spent a good 15 minutes talking, getting to know each other and I can't help but grin when listening to him talk. All this while, I thought people have just been exaggerating the Scottish accent. But in fact, that is exactly how they speak. Luckily I could still make out what he was saying in that accent which I found rather endearing.
And sex would naturally feel better when two people feel connected mentally. This guy really knew how to pump me hard! Perhaps Scottish dudes are naturally good lovers? I know the Dutch are.
Scott even gave me some extra on top of my usual rates for my cab fare home (see, that is what real gentleman do!) and being thrifty ol'me, I still took the train home. (No, actually cos I just bought yet another pair of shoes and some lingerie, and would feel bad taking the cab. Heh.)
And this morning, I was greeted with an email from Scott.
When I was on my way to meet Scott, I realised one thing. I realised how when I first started, I needed time to mentally prepare myself, play the scenario in my head, before I can go meet a client while still feeling a bit nervous. But these days, I find myself much more relaxed. When a booking comes in, I screen them and if they seem alright, I'ld doll up and when I enter the room, my body just goes into auto-pilot. It's like whatever emotional-baggage is left at the door, and a totally different person goes through that door - sexy, self-confident, submissive but in-control.
Perhaps that is why I still love doing this and somehow never once found it exhausting (except for the occassional down-sides). I guess its almost natural for a Gemini who's known for their dual personality. Actually I find it even more exhausting if I have to be only ONE person. I once thought I had an identity crisis and tried to curb it but always felt like there was another side of me that was screaming to be unleashed.
Perhaps I've finally found myself. Both of them.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Yea yea yo yo this one's for the people
All the B's that'll bleed and they sleep and they eat
Shit believe the thought we're all equal
Ain't a man on God's green be underneath any other
I don't wanna play preacher
But but I swear they turn their ear when we talk about peace and love
Sometimes might need a hug yea we all wanna come on up above
But this ain't about Jesus, no way, no Abe, no Ike, Moses or Mohammed
Yea it's all about believing, full steam ahead
Because I know the worst times are behind me
I don't wanna sound cheesy but but but I just a really mean it eh eh yea
I'm tellin' I can feel it eh eh it's the reason I was sleep
I be way too geek tonight
This one's for all of y'all
I'm the same as all of y'all, I'm on my shit
I work real hard and all for every little bit that I get
But this is all I need, so sing this song with me
It goes like
So it sounds like this e'rybody start clapping your hands
It's like, it's like
Chorus:
IIIII, I've been on my grind
I can only grind for so long
(go [6X] )
IIIII, I've been on my grind
I can only grind for so long
Bout time to change a few things
We enslaved to the bank and we only wanna buy new shoes
The way that we think
We can do anything that we really wanna put our minds too
The American dream, the dream is a pyramid scheme, scheme
And it feels outta reach when it's hard and times are tough
But change starts with us yep, yep
We all want freedom yea to be who we be
I don't wanna be afraid when I speak to say what I'm feeling
Yea together we're strong but divided never been so weak
It's time we get even, yea yea, and really what I mean is, is, is
This change I can feel it, yea yea, Mr. President I think it's all gonna be O.K.
This one's for all of y'all
I'm the same as all of y'all, I'm on my shit
I work real hard and all for every little bit that I get
But this is all I need, so sing this song with me
It goes like
So it sounds like this e'rybody start clapping your hands
It's like, it's like
(Chorus)
So it's not about fame, and fortune
It's about believing and believing in yourself
And understanding that this life is life
It's liberty and the pursuit of happiness
And happiness isn't about getting what you want all the time
It's about loving what you have
So get ready it's a new day
(Chorus)
:: Asher Roth ::
Dirty Picture
I could dream of ways to see you
I could close my eyes to dream
I could fantasize about you
Tell the world what I believe
But whenever I'm not with you
It's so hard for me to see
I need to see a picture of you
A special picture just for me, yeah
READ MORE » Dirty Picture
I could close my eyes to dream
I could fantasize about you
Tell the world what I believe
But whenever I'm not with you
It's so hard for me to see
I need to see a picture of you
A special picture just for me, yeah
So take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Just take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Just send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture
Just send the dirty picture to me
Send the dirty picture, picture, picture, picture, picture
Snap, snap, uh
Whenever you are gone
I just wanna be wit' ya
Please don't get me wrong
I just wanna see a picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
Take a dirty picture for me
Take a dirty picture
The dream of ways to see you
I could close my eyes to dream
Fantasize about this with you
But the way is never seen, oh
Uh, snap, snap, snap
When you're all alone, boy
I got something to give ya
Will ya play along
If I take a dirty picture
My eyes glanced through Popeye's message and then I quickly closed the screen. I did not reply him. I did not know what to say. Untill 3 days later, on my way home and the song 'Lucky' (Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz) was blaring through my earphones, and I just broke down and cried.
I thought he was the only friend I had who understands...
I thought we could have something...
I thought maybe someday he'll come back for me...
I thought wrong.
For the first time, someone made me feel like a whore, and it had to come from Popeye. The disappointment is heart-breaking.
Click, click, snap
:: Taio Cruz (feat. Ke$ha) ::
My eyes glanced through Popeye's message and then I quickly closed the screen. I did not reply him. I did not know what to say. Untill 3 days later, on my way home and the song 'Lucky' (Colbie Caillat & Jason Mraz) was blaring through my earphones, and I just broke down and cried.
I thought he was the only friend I had who understands...
I thought we could have something...
I thought maybe someday he'll come back for me...
I thought wrong.
For the first time, someone made me feel like a whore, and it had to come from Popeye. The disappointment is heart-breaking.
AMAZing Grace
Tale of the Purple Dress...
Did anyone happen to see someone elevate in the MRT last Monday evening ala David Blaine? If you did, that was no other than me. I swear I felt myself float in mid air like Dumbo when I read the email from Amaze on my phone. I was on my way home from class when I realised that I had 1 unread mail.
Remember I saw that pretty purple top from Miss Selfridge and was asking if I should get it? The heavens must have heard my request. X'mas comes early this year as I received an anonymous email from a generous somone who offered to buy it for me.
Yeah. Really!
I was just as sceptical at first but hey, the deal was sealed and Amaze even asked me to get some lingerie to match with the dress. Isn't that just aweeesomeeeee..!!!!
Slicker'n snot on a glass door knob?? *lol*
Now let me clear the air before anyone start making accusations (not that I care, actually).
I am only trying to write a decent (or indecent, whichever way you look at it) blog here and not use it as a platform to get people to buy me things (though they are more than welcome. I'm even inspired to come up with a 'wishlist' *lol*) or worse still, make some sorta scam to trick people into giving me money. Nooo.... that is definitely not the purpose of this blog.
This blog is simply my monologue (most of the time I do believe I'm only talking to myself) or outlet to express the blatant truths behind the dark and the untold unglamorous life of a social escort/ call-girl and more importantly, where I can pour out my raw feelings, most of which are usually hidden or supressed. Of course, once in a while, nice things happen and people buy you things and suddenly you feel loved and appreciated, even for a while.... Like the MIKA concert ticket and now the dress and lingerie, all without asking for anything in return (now this you've got to play it safe to make sure YOU don't get conned or tricked into some evil man's plot)
I learnt one thing - sometimes, all you've got to do is ASK. It doesnt matter if you don't get it in the end, but at least you voiced it out. I feel rather blessed to have known these generous people and I see it as an examplary deed and feel encouraged to pay it forward when the opportunity comes some day.
Thanks Amaze, plus a dozen kisses, for your kind words. I really loveeeeeee the purple dress as it fits perfectly and the lingerie, hmmm.. only you would know how I fill up those cups just enough without 'overflowing'. Heh. ;) That pic would be for your eyes only, as a way for me to give thanks.
You're one in a million! Which means in Singapore there would be 5 and I'ld have to look for the other 4. If you think you're one of 'em, grab a pen and paper - I really would like....
The Tiffany Charm Bracelet
Kate Spade's 'Beantown Quinn' Bag
and... lingerie (a girl can NEVER have too many of those) especially the naughty ones. ;)
 |
If you wanna get it for me, my size is 38C, aight! *muacks*
p/s: Product endorsements, raves and write-up requests are most welcome. Ahakz :) :) :)
Love is all around
It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show...
It always feels good to know that someone cares or misses you. And it feels even better when you least expect it. I went to sleep with a warm, fuzzy feeling after receiving an email from a generous someone, and then later woke up to find another email from...
A familiar name sat perched in my inbox. My heart jumped at the sight of his name.
READ MORE » Love is all around
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show...
It always feels good to know that someone cares or misses you. And it feels even better when you least expect it. I went to sleep with a warm, fuzzy feeling after receiving an email from a generous someone, and then later woke up to find another email from...
A familiar name sat perched in my inbox. My heart jumped at the sight of his name.
Popeye MISSES me? Really????? *waterworks* I'm deeply touched.
I wonder which sea breeze finally blew his way and whispered my love, which suddenly made him decide to email me. In his next reply, he said he is now in Egypt. So far yet so near...
Can you feel me
When I think about you
With every breath I take
Every minute
No matter what I do
My world is an empty place
Like I've been wonderin the desert
For a thousand days
Don't know if it's a mirage
But I always see your face, baby
I'm missing you so much
Can't help it, I'm in love
A day without you is like a year without rain...
:: Selena Gomez :: A Day Without Rain ::
It was a start to a really good week... :)
Previously with Popeye : I Wish I May, I Wish I Might
*ROTFL*
I received this a few weeks back. Can't believe I forgot to post it up. I was laughing my head off when I saw it. This one really takes the cake!
The German Shephard
Just got back from a 'job'. Was on leave today so I took on this last minute call. I dun usually accept last minute requests but he is a German. My first German. Let's call him The German Shephard - GS.
Another interesting thing about GS was that... he requested for a GS - golden shower. *gasps*
I thought i would give it a go but when the situation called for it, I just couldn't pee.
I still cannot understand why someone would want to be pee-ed on.
Another request from GS was that I wear a pantyhose. He said he has a thing about pantyhose and its smell. Hmm... ok.
That, I could accomodate but with a heavy heart cos that means wearing a skirt. You see, this might come as a surprise but i do not wear skirts. The last time i wore a skirt was when I was in secondary school. So what more a DRESS. Thussss.... i never wear pantyhose. The only other time i remember wearing a pantyhose was when I was in kindergarten and my mother loved to dress me up in frilly dresses, white knitted pantyhose and patent Mary-Janes. ahakz.
Anw, it wasn't too bad an experience and I get to go home early. Plus, did i mention that GS looks like Antonio Banderas? Hahah... I didn't ask GS for much information like age and stuff, so when i saw him, it was a pretty delightful surprise. Ok, I'm shagged. Off to bed. Nightey...
xoxo
Meeting an agent tonight
So I chickened out of the meeting with the Lian from the escort agency... the fact that she said they cater to locals was pretty alarming.
This morning, I was greeted by another email from Lady P, the lady from the first agency that contacted me. Boy, is she persistent! So I'm meeting her this evening... quite nervous. Strange thing when I visited their website, it looks a lil like my blog.. hahah.. with S'pore night skyline as the background. Fated?... I dunno. Let hope I dun get cold-feet and chicken out again :P
I looked up on the company and also found their ad on a personals classifieds...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This morning on my way to the office, my phone was still chiming off its hooks. Managed to clinch a date with this South African fella. 1.79m, blonde, blue eyes... he said. Once the deal was set, I asked his aged and was knocked off my ass....
18?!!!!
Is that the legal age already? I really dun wanna be screwing a minor *bites nails*
xoxo
READ MORE » Meeting an agent tonight
This morning, I was greeted by another email from Lady P, the lady from the first agency that contacted me. Boy, is she persistent! So I'm meeting her this evening... quite nervous. Strange thing when I visited their website, it looks a lil like my blog.. hahah.. with S'pore night skyline as the background. Fated?... I dunno. Let hope I dun get cold-feet and chicken out again :P
I looked up on the company and also found their ad on a personals classifieds...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi there,
We are an Escort company reruiting girls at the moment. We are looking for girls between the ages of 18 to 35 years of age. Looks are not a big matter to us but you must be voluptous looking girl. Not too skinny or too short.
We pay you a minimum sum if you fall within our requirement and is hired. We accomodate you with housing and accessories and transportation.
Call/sms me at xxxx-xxxx and we chat further.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------This morning on my way to the office, my phone was still chiming off its hooks. Managed to clinch a date with this South African fella. 1.79m, blonde, blue eyes... he said. Once the deal was set, I asked his aged and was knocked off my ass....
18?!!!!
Is that the legal age already? I really dun wanna be screwing a minor *bites nails*
xoxo
Tears of Blood
Strange enough, I didn't feel bitter when the nasty accident last Sunday left me swollen with a soon-to-be scar on my face. Somehow I feel like I sorta deserve/ ask for it.
I managed to snap a pic of myself right after the accident (as evidence) and it looked like I was crying tears of blood.
Remember what I said about a looking for a distaction, well now I've got it. Right smack in the face. I have always believed that all deeds are judged on its intentions. And the fact that I was looking forward to another wave of on-call jobs end of the month, was probably the cause.
Seems like I'm starting to feel all spiritual again. How I should probably feel blessed that so far, I've only had the kindest of men as my clients (one which I even got involved emotionally with recently). And that I was lucky the accident last Sunday didn't involve a life and death situation.
I was all by myself when the accident happened. For a moment there, I felt so alone and helpless. It wasn't all the blood or the pain, but that one dizzy moment of lonliness that scared me. I ended up spending my Sunday at the A&E and I'm still on mc today.
I don't have a Ben to share my woes with, I lost my Alex to the open sea... friends can see the wounds on the surface, but they have no clue about its hidden repercussion. All I've got is this secret diary...
When I got home that day to check my email, look what I found...
Heh.
xoxo.
I managed to snap a pic of myself right after the accident (as evidence) and it looked like I was crying tears of blood.
Remember what I said about a looking for a distaction, well now I've got it. Right smack in the face. I have always believed that all deeds are judged on its intentions. And the fact that I was looking forward to another wave of on-call jobs end of the month, was probably the cause.
Seems like I'm starting to feel all spiritual again. How I should probably feel blessed that so far, I've only had the kindest of men as my clients (one which I even got involved emotionally with recently). And that I was lucky the accident last Sunday didn't involve a life and death situation.
I was all by myself when the accident happened. For a moment there, I felt so alone and helpless. It wasn't all the blood or the pain, but that one dizzy moment of lonliness that scared me. I ended up spending my Sunday at the A&E and I'm still on mc today.
I don't have a Ben to share my woes with, I lost my Alex to the open sea... friends can see the wounds on the surface, but they have no clue about its hidden repercussion. All I've got is this secret diary...
When I got home that day to check my email, look what I found...
Heh.
xoxo.
Today was a fairytale...
Tonight, I lost my ability to 'compartmentalise'.
Tonight, I allowed myself become a woman again and felt the warmth over every inch of my skin.
Tonight, I walked home with tears in my eyes.
You know how when you leave out a block of frozen meat to thaw, and as it softens, condensation forms around it, creating a pool of water from the melted ice. Yeah, that was what happened to my heart. It thawed and ruined my mascara.
I haven't felt like this in years. I remember telling myself a few months back, that perhaps I've lost the ability to love or at least develop a sense of fondness for anyone. Perhaps my heart has simply turned stone cold and numb.
But tonight was one of the most amazing nights in my life that I will never forget.
As I laid on the grass, in the warmth of his arms, I stared at the velvet blue sky sprinkled with stars and felt like the luckiest whore on the planet. The breeze whispered a sweet tune as we chatted and kissed in the dim lit park behind my house. I've never brought anyone anywhere near the proximity of my home. Not even boyfriends.
Popeye waited for me at the Jurong Point taxi stand where I picked him up at about 9pm. We've been texting each other eversince our first meetup on Wednesday and decided less than a few hours ago to meet again. When he asked (sms) whether we're meeting as a client or friend, I teased him and said I've upgraded him to friend status.
If I was whoring purely to make money, then this probably isn't productive and not such a smart business move. But my intentions from the beginning was to meet people from different walks of life, those whom I would probably never meet as our paths will never cross. Popeye was one of them.
In a way, I'm rather glad I took up escorting. If not this magical moment would have never happened.
I've been to the park once before for a jog and discovered the place. We 'hiked' up to the peak of the hill and found that there were already a few other couples that were way ahead of us. With no vacant benches, we settled for the grass and just started to chat. I started off with a confession. Now that we're friends, I wanted him to know my real name. He asked for my real age but I was still in denial and refused to reveal it. Heh.
We talked about alot of things... his work, his family. As we laid down and looked at the stars, he pointed out which ones were stars, planets and satelites. I'm secretly starting to adore him even more now. I told him about my day, how I went to buy 2 of Adam Lambert's CD just to get a chance at a lucky draw. Of course he mocked me for it and wouldn't stop teasing about it later. He said he really like being in Singapore cos back in England (he's from the north) you can never do this (lie down in a park at night, cos it would be 18 degrees outside).
The setting was perfect and as I snuggled up and laid my head on his chest, my right hand went under his shirt to rub his nipples. Did I mention how I love the way our body 'fits'? We kissed a little bit more and then he asked about my family and I told him about my initial impression of sailors. But then we saw a few people walking up to where we were and we had to quickly sit up and look innocent. We talked some more and I told him that I'm not usually like this... sentimental and all. Then he said something like - he tries not to feel attached to anything as his jobs requires him to be away for many many weeks.
[urgghh..Water works again. *breathe... breathe*... Damn PMS]
And of course I try to understand what he is trying to say. That I shouldn't start to develop these feelings for him cos it might not lead to anything. But it was the sudden realisation that even as I was sitting beside him, it is not the real me that he sees. He knows me, from merely TWO days ago, as the social escort who was paid $150/hr to have sex with him. I am a prostitute. And no man can ever love a prostitute.
An undescribable heaviness landed on my heart as I reminded myself that this ain't a tv-series that I'm watching... it is my life. I'm a prostitute. Oh my god, I'm a prostitute. How did I even dare to think that he will like me?
[...more water works]
Then I felt his hand rubbing my back. Perhaps he felt my sadness. Whats sad is also that his stay in Singapore has been cut short and he'll be leaving next week. Well, everyone's got to wake up from their dreams, right?
But at least we still had this last few moments to share and I wanted to make the memories last. As we kissed and I gazed into his bluish-grey eyes, I worked my way through his belt and undo his buttons and voila! He was right about the stiffy. He was complaining that he was walking around in it all day.
I wanted him to have the best blow ever and leave Singapore with fond memories. It is nice to blow when you really mean it to be good, as you don't have the tendency to gag. I worked him for about 5 mins and then I heard the oh-so-familiar line - "I think I'm about to cum". Usually I'ld love to see their faces when they cum but this time, I didn't want to lose the momentum and pace. So I continued sucking untill I tasted the warm, thick liquid in my mouth. With my lips still wrapped around this 7-incher, I swallowed his cum and didn't leave a drop. Its not so messy that way... being outdoors and all.
When I turned to look at him, his face was blushing red and I teased him for panicking. Then he said I was a really naughty girl. Everyone says that. I still wonder why.
As we continued to lie down, he placed his arms around me and we snuggled really tight. I love his scent. Hugo Boss. I told him that if I ever miss him, I'll have to go sniff a Hugo Boss scent card from the department store. He turned and held me tighter and planted a kiss on my forehead.
That moment... will last me an eternity. Nobody.. and I say nobody, has ever kissed me on the forehead. Not even mom. And it was the most comforting and beautiful feeling I have ever felt in my entire life.
Soon it was time to go and we slowly made our way down to the main road so that he can catch a cab back to Tuas. On our way down, he said he wished we had met 10 months earlier (when he was in Singapore) and I said we can still kep in touch through emails. And then he alerted me about how there won't be any internet connections while he's at sea (usually 4 weeks long)..."So if I have not replied, don't think that I'm ignoring you", he said.
We kissed our last goodbye as I waved him away in the blue Comfort.
Crickets... the sound of cars whizzing by... silence... and I'm back to being alone again.
I whipped out my Jalou and played that song by Katie Melua - Piece by Piece...
Tonight, I allowed myself become a woman again and felt the warmth over every inch of my skin.
Tonight, I walked home with tears in my eyes.
You know how when you leave out a block of frozen meat to thaw, and as it softens, condensation forms around it, creating a pool of water from the melted ice. Yeah, that was what happened to my heart. It thawed and ruined my mascara.
I haven't felt like this in years. I remember telling myself a few months back, that perhaps I've lost the ability to love or at least develop a sense of fondness for anyone. Perhaps my heart has simply turned stone cold and numb.
But tonight was one of the most amazing nights in my life that I will never forget.
As I laid on the grass, in the warmth of his arms, I stared at the velvet blue sky sprinkled with stars and felt like the luckiest whore on the planet. The breeze whispered a sweet tune as we chatted and kissed in the dim lit park behind my house. I've never brought anyone anywhere near the proximity of my home. Not even boyfriends.
Popeye waited for me at the Jurong Point taxi stand where I picked him up at about 9pm. We've been texting each other eversince our first meetup on Wednesday and decided less than a few hours ago to meet again. When he asked (sms) whether we're meeting as a client or friend, I teased him and said I've upgraded him to friend status.
If I was whoring purely to make money, then this probably isn't productive and not such a smart business move. But my intentions from the beginning was to meet people from different walks of life, those whom I would probably never meet as our paths will never cross. Popeye was one of them.
In a way, I'm rather glad I took up escorting. If not this magical moment would have never happened.
I've been to the park once before for a jog and discovered the place. We 'hiked' up to the peak of the hill and found that there were already a few other couples that were way ahead of us. With no vacant benches, we settled for the grass and just started to chat. I started off with a confession. Now that we're friends, I wanted him to know my real name. He asked for my real age but I was still in denial and refused to reveal it. Heh.
We talked about alot of things... his work, his family. As we laid down and looked at the stars, he pointed out which ones were stars, planets and satelites. I'm secretly starting to adore him even more now. I told him about my day, how I went to buy 2 of Adam Lambert's CD just to get a chance at a lucky draw. Of course he mocked me for it and wouldn't stop teasing about it later. He said he really like being in Singapore cos back in England (he's from the north) you can never do this (lie down in a park at night, cos it would be 18 degrees outside).
The setting was perfect and as I snuggled up and laid my head on his chest, my right hand went under his shirt to rub his nipples. Did I mention how I love the way our body 'fits'? We kissed a little bit more and then he asked about my family and I told him about my initial impression of sailors. But then we saw a few people walking up to where we were and we had to quickly sit up and look innocent. We talked some more and I told him that I'm not usually like this... sentimental and all. Then he said something like - he tries not to feel attached to anything as his jobs requires him to be away for many many weeks.
[urgghh..Water works again. *breathe... breathe*... Damn PMS]
And of course I try to understand what he is trying to say. That I shouldn't start to develop these feelings for him cos it might not lead to anything. But it was the sudden realisation that even as I was sitting beside him, it is not the real me that he sees. He knows me, from merely TWO days ago, as the social escort who was paid $150/hr to have sex with him. I am a prostitute. And no man can ever love a prostitute.
An undescribable heaviness landed on my heart as I reminded myself that this ain't a tv-series that I'm watching... it is my life. I'm a prostitute. Oh my god, I'm a prostitute. How did I even dare to think that he will like me?
[...more water works]
Then I felt his hand rubbing my back. Perhaps he felt my sadness. Whats sad is also that his stay in Singapore has been cut short and he'll be leaving next week. Well, everyone's got to wake up from their dreams, right?
But at least we still had this last few moments to share and I wanted to make the memories last. As we kissed and I gazed into his bluish-grey eyes, I worked my way through his belt and undo his buttons and voila! He was right about the stiffy. He was complaining that he was walking around in it all day.
I wanted him to have the best blow ever and leave Singapore with fond memories. It is nice to blow when you really mean it to be good, as you don't have the tendency to gag. I worked him for about 5 mins and then I heard the oh-so-familiar line - "I think I'm about to cum". Usually I'ld love to see their faces when they cum but this time, I didn't want to lose the momentum and pace. So I continued sucking untill I tasted the warm, thick liquid in my mouth. With my lips still wrapped around this 7-incher, I swallowed his cum and didn't leave a drop. Its not so messy that way... being outdoors and all.
When I turned to look at him, his face was blushing red and I teased him for panicking. Then he said I was a really naughty girl. Everyone says that. I still wonder why.
As we continued to lie down, he placed his arms around me and we snuggled really tight. I love his scent. Hugo Boss. I told him that if I ever miss him, I'll have to go sniff a Hugo Boss scent card from the department store. He turned and held me tighter and planted a kiss on my forehead.
That moment... will last me an eternity. Nobody.. and I say nobody, has ever kissed me on the forehead. Not even mom. And it was the most comforting and beautiful feeling I have ever felt in my entire life.
Soon it was time to go and we slowly made our way down to the main road so that he can catch a cab back to Tuas. On our way down, he said he wished we had met 10 months earlier (when he was in Singapore) and I said we can still kep in touch through emails. And then he alerted me about how there won't be any internet connections while he's at sea (usually 4 weeks long)..."So if I have not replied, don't think that I'm ignoring you", he said.
We kissed our last goodbye as I waved him away in the blue Comfort.
Crickets... the sound of cars whizzing by... silence... and I'm back to being alone again.
I whipped out my Jalou and played that song by Katie Melua - Piece by Piece...
First of all must go
Your scent upon my pillow
And then I'll say goodbye
to your whisper in my dreams
Your scent upon my pillow
And then I'll say goodbye
to your whisper in my dreams
And then our lips will part
In my mind and in my heart
Cos your kiss
Went deeper than my skin
In my mind and in my heart
Cos your kiss
Went deeper than my skin
Piece by piece
is how I'll let go of you
Kiss by kiss
Will leave my mind
One at a time
One at a time
is how I'll let go of you
Kiss by kiss
Will leave my mind
One at a time
One at a time
I'll shed like skin
Our memories of lazy days
And fade away the shadow of your face...
Our memories of lazy days
And fade away the shadow of your face...
I really need to get new mascara cos this supposed waterproof one doesn't seem to be tearproof.
Guess I'm not as heavy-duty as I thought...
xoxo.
xoxo.
My FIRST Sailor
Got a 'date' with a sailor this afternoon. Received his email yesterday and was rather pleased with his honesty (he even attached his pic:)
25 years young, 6'3, blue eyes, from England (wats with you and English boys, QueenB??)
Supposed to meet at 8.30pm but he just texted to meet earlier at 4pm. Guess I gotta be a naughty girl and slip out of office again...
(Note to self: Cannot make it a habit to slip out and fuck during office hours!!!)
(Note to self: Cannot make it a habit to slip out and fuck during office hours!!!)
Will update on the sailor man... *will it be cheesy to nickname him Popeye? hehe*
xoxo.
Tea-time and dangling carrots (part 1)
Today was interesting.
A tea-time quickie at Market Street with Marcus, and a debut performance of my fuck buddy, Lee.
Yup, we havent fucked eversince our first date. Can u believe it? What kind of a fb is tt?
Anw, i've already lost my taste bud for Lee (for making me wait so long. Not tt I waited in e first plc) and jz wanted to fuck him to see if he was as good as he claims to be.
But after today, all I can say is, Lee is officially de-throned. Big? Hah. I'll say tt pic of him was probably doctored.
What pleased me most was seeing Marcus again. I thought I had seen e last of him so when I saw his email in my gmail, I was briming with joy! I knew he wouldnt forget me tt easily.
The build up to our 'meet up' was what made it all so much fun.
First thing I do when I wake in e morning is to check my mail. Doesnt everyone? Not you? Ok. Well at least Taufik Batisah does. How I know? Dont ask.
Back to what I was saying. Time was 9am as I grinned frm ear to ear as I read Marcus's signature one-liner email. 7.25am - time it was sent. Someone woke up real early.
I think I read it about 50 times before I managed to reply it. It was a continuation frm our email chat frm the previous evening before he headed out for dinner. I call it email chat cos we conversed via one-liner emails with a 1 to 3 min pause inbetween. A conversation which couldve taken us 10 mins if we'd picked up e phone, but just chose to prolong it to a spread of 2 hrs while I multi-tasked between emails, paper work and small talk with colleagues. Yeah, tts jz hw much we love to tease each other. I wonder hw HE gets his work done.
I decided to tease him further by attaching a file to this email. A pic of me in e (un)dressing room.
Body text: I'm still mad at you.
Oh thats cos he resisted the idea of meeting up with me the night before. Or my failed attempt to tempt him enough. Whichever way u choose to see it.
He only replied sometime after lunch. By the time it was 3pm, he was dangling his carrot in my face. Lucky for me, it is pretty easy to get in and out of the office with no one to question.
The afternn heat toasted my bare skin as Market St greeted me, this time with the buzz of the working bee colony. This plc looks different WITH people.
I whizzed past reception with unquestionable confidence, looking like i'm about to attend to an absolutely urgent matter. Who would hv guessed that urgent matter is a throbbing cock?
I've become rather familiar with the path tt leads to his office. Abt 20 steps to his door, I txted him - 'I'm right outside', and reached jz in time to catch him pop out his head, looking out for me.
to be continued...
xoxo.
A tea-time quickie at Market Street with Marcus, and a debut performance of my fuck buddy, Lee.
Yup, we havent fucked eversince our first date. Can u believe it? What kind of a fb is tt?
Anw, i've already lost my taste bud for Lee (for making me wait so long. Not tt I waited in e first plc) and jz wanted to fuck him to see if he was as good as he claims to be.
But after today, all I can say is, Lee is officially de-throned. Big? Hah. I'll say tt pic of him was probably doctored.
What pleased me most was seeing Marcus again. I thought I had seen e last of him so when I saw his email in my gmail, I was briming with joy! I knew he wouldnt forget me tt easily.
The build up to our 'meet up' was what made it all so much fun.
First thing I do when I wake in e morning is to check my mail. Doesnt everyone? Not you? Ok. Well at least Taufik Batisah does. How I know? Dont ask.
Back to what I was saying. Time was 9am as I grinned frm ear to ear as I read Marcus's signature one-liner email. 7.25am - time it was sent. Someone woke up real early.
I think I read it about 50 times before I managed to reply it. It was a continuation frm our email chat frm the previous evening before he headed out for dinner. I call it email chat cos we conversed via one-liner emails with a 1 to 3 min pause inbetween. A conversation which couldve taken us 10 mins if we'd picked up e phone, but just chose to prolong it to a spread of 2 hrs while I multi-tasked between emails, paper work and small talk with colleagues. Yeah, tts jz hw much we love to tease each other. I wonder hw HE gets his work done.
I decided to tease him further by attaching a file to this email. A pic of me in e (un)dressing room.
Body text: I'm still mad at you.
Oh thats cos he resisted the idea of meeting up with me the night before. Or my failed attempt to tempt him enough. Whichever way u choose to see it.
He only replied sometime after lunch. By the time it was 3pm, he was dangling his carrot in my face. Lucky for me, it is pretty easy to get in and out of the office with no one to question.
The afternn heat toasted my bare skin as Market St greeted me, this time with the buzz of the working bee colony. This plc looks different WITH people.
I whizzed past reception with unquestionable confidence, looking like i'm about to attend to an absolutely urgent matter. Who would hv guessed that urgent matter is a throbbing cock?
I've become rather familiar with the path tt leads to his office. Abt 20 steps to his door, I txted him - 'I'm right outside', and reached jz in time to catch him pop out his head, looking out for me.
to be continued...
xoxo.
★Backstreet Boys★ feat. Dr. K
I really shouldn't have pressed that button. Itchy fingers!!! I should not have checked my email on my phone before the concert. In the end, I couldn't stop thinking about the contents of the email and got very distracted, bothered and to a certain degree.... upset. At every BSB song which I didn't know the words (mostly the new songs), all I could think about was that STUPID email. Fuck. (See Dr. K's email below)
See the kind of emails I get? Now he's giving me advice about losing weight??! It has been something which I've been battling my entire life. I havent had rice for 2-weeks now and I am so bloody hungry, all I can think about is stuffing my face.
Best girl in the city???... Should I be flattered or insulted, coming from him.
Arrrrggggghhhhhhh. Bloody pek chek, man!
READ MORE » ★Backstreet Boys★ feat. Dr. K
See the kind of emails I get? Now he's giving me advice about losing weight??! It has been something which I've been battling my entire life. I havent had rice for 2-weeks now and I am so bloody hungry, all I can think about is stuffing my face.Best girl in the city???... Should I be flattered or insulted, coming from him.
Arrrrggggghhhhhhh. Bloody pek chek, man!Fool Again
Was estatic when a book caught my eye today and realised that the author was an old friend whom I had not kept in touch with for a long time...
I hesitated and pondered... and hesitated again, wonderin whether I should drop him an email, hoping to rekindle that lost spark.
And just after I clicked the 'send' button, while smiling to myself for composing a beautifully short and sweet email, it was then I read his introduction page and learnt that the man had gotten married in that span of 5 years we had lost touch.
I could feel that sudden rush of blood and felt a little giddy... and consoled myself thinking, ' Nevermind, it doesnt hurt to flirt a lil, right?' *sobs*
But deep inside right now... all I can hear myself say is...'Stupid.. stupid.. stupid!!! Shouldn't have written that email.'
READ MORE » Fool Again
I hesitated and pondered... and hesitated again, wonderin whether I should drop him an email, hoping to rekindle that lost spark.
And just after I clicked the 'send' button, while smiling to myself for composing a beautifully short and sweet email, it was then I read his introduction page and learnt that the man had gotten married in that span of 5 years we had lost touch.
I could feel that sudden rush of blood and felt a little giddy... and consoled myself thinking, ' Nevermind, it doesnt hurt to flirt a lil, right?' *sobs*
But deep inside right now... all I can hear myself say is...'Stupid.. stupid.. stupid!!! Shouldn't have written that email.'
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