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Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

Product Placement

Sad news this week that the quality of our commercial television programs is going to degrade even further as product placements are to be allowed on our screens.

But as picture below clearly shows, some people have been doing this for years!

Can you spot the six products placed in the above picture?

But on a more serious note, do we really want to be bombarded with strategically placed products on our screens? It's one thing to allow programme makers to use recognisable products in their sets, but quite another to so deliberately position them in such a contrived manner.

And how long will it be before they allow the dialog to mention well known brands?

And the daftest idea of the lot is to place a logo on the corner of the screen to draw our attention to the fact that there is a product being advertised somewhere in what you are looking at! For God's sake, it's hard enough to find anything on television worth watching as it is without trying to ignore this sort of crap as well.

I for one never watch anything live on a commercial channel. I record it and then fast forward through the adverts. Life is too short to spend a third of every hour sat in front of the TV watching adverts. But if they allow placement, then the programs just become one long advert.

It's the start of a very slippery slope...

(Here's a thought, why don't we just have hour long advertisements split up by 8 minutes of programmes. Oh! Hang on! I forgot - they already did that. It's called the Shopping Channel.)

Freegans beware

Ther's been a worrying development for all of those who believe that if food has been thrown out, then it's fair game and OK for you to exercise your moral conscience by not seeing it go to waste.

In Great Baddow, Essex, people could not believe their luck after a Tesco Express bagged up thousands of pounds of spoiled stock and left it out in the street following a power cut.

21 year old Sasha Hall, helped herself to potato waffles, pies and ham but was stunned when police arrived at her home and arrested her for suspected 'theft by finding' and took her to the station in handcuffs.

She said

There was £3,000 worth of food going to waste on the street. It had been thrown out, so I thought I could put it to better use. When the police came round I was so upset. I felt like a terrible criminal.

I would think the police have better things to be doing with their time than going after people who pick up potato waffles from the street. It's all been blown totally out of proportion.

Tesco clearly did not want the food. They dumped it and rather than see it go to waste, I thought I could help feed me and my family for a week or two.

They knocked at the door and said if I didn't open up they would use a battering ram. They handcuffed me and treated me like I was a hardened criminal and when we left they raided my house.

The case is up before the magistrates today. If she is found guilty then, frankly, I consider it to be a travesty for common sense as well as for justice...

(You can read the full story in the Daily Mail by clicking here)

Fast track policemen

Police minister Nick Herbert has come up with the most hairbrained idea of the year so far - and I reckon it will take some beating...

Apparently, the idea of making all new recruits join at the lowest rank of constable is no longer "fit for purpose". The daft bugger told a national conference: "The service needs to be open, more representative and diverse. It needs to attract the brightest and the best."

At the moment, all coppers undergo the same basic training and spend a year as a probationer or beat copper. In other words, they learn the realities of the job by starting on the lowest rung of the ladder. The Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) opposes a change and says there is already an accelerated promotion scheme which can fast-track graduates and others with experience outside the police.

Many years ago - more than I care to remember in fact - I was interested in joining the fraud squad. I was told that I would have to undergo basic training and enter as a constable, but it was made clear to me that I would soon gain promotion in view of my professional qualifications. There was no question of avoiding the basics. It was made very clear to me that I would have to start at the bottom - and I felt this was as it should be!

Commerce in this country started to go down the toilet when managers were brought into the organisation with theoretical qualifications but no experience of either management or the basics of the business. If we do this to the police, then the quality of this organisation will also suffer accordingly.

A review of police pay and conditions is due to present it's preliminary findings next month. In the interests of maximising relevent experience, the government appointed not a former senior police office, but Tom Windsor the former rail regulator.

'Nuff said...

The Missionary Position

They say that travel is good. It broadens your horizons, Opens up your mind to other possibilities and enlarges your carbon footprint. All this works from me!

As my regular reader will know, I have nothing against God. Indeed I believe that the great sky fairy is looking down on us from on high and pissing himself laughing at all our various ludicrous ways of worshipping Him. Nowhere is this more fascinating in its manifestations than in Polynesia.

Take for example Tahiti, the island which epitomises what I euphemistically brand the "ABC" tour - "Another Bloody Church". There is one on every corner - and two on some. Every domination imaginable is here in spades.

In the 19th century, the European missionaries arrived here bigtime - especially the Catholics. They found a happy, contented, sexually liberated people and so naturally felt bound by God and the Pope to put an end to it as soon as possible and impose their own special brand of guilt ridden prudishness.

The amply endowed dusky young maidens who were running around half naked in the tropical sun were immediately forced to wear clothes covering them from neck to toe. All their Gods were abandoned and their way of life destroyed forever. Ironically, all this happened because their religious legends foretold that one day a pale stranger would appear bringing the word of God to the islands and, of course, when the Europeans came, they assumed the prophesy was being fulfilled.

As I said, God must be looking down pissing himself laughing...

What's in a name, Benny?

The old Ratshitter has been poking his nose in again...

Apparently Benny is not happy with the names we are giving our children and is telling us that we need to go back to selecting proper Christian names which "bequeath an unmistakable sign that the Holy Spirit will allow the person to blossom in the bosom of the Church."

Well, ignoring the fact that it's actually fuck all to do with him what we call our kids, let's have a look at some of the names that have fallen into disuse and a few examples of good, solid Christian names.

When was the last time you met anyone called Hephzibah, Amminadabs, Zipporahs or Habakkuks? Or how about Abbos, Etheidwithas and Leocritas? Amazingly, all these were once quite common...

I have a grandchild due next week, but I don't think my daughter will be using any of those. Pappa is also apparently not impressed with "such profane appellations as Brooklyn, Peaches and Princess Tiaamii."

Perhaps these papally recommended gems would be more appropriate :

Jezebel, the Queen of Israel, later became shorthand for a fallen woman, a name perhaps attracting a degree of notoriety?
Nebuchadnezzar was king of the Babylonian empire. His exploits, which are recounted in the books of Daniel and Jeremiah, were praised by Saddam Hussein, to whom he was a hero.
Dorcas, a faithful female disciple "full of good deeds" whose death prompted much weeping, according to the New Testament.
Philemon, the recipient of an epistle from Saint Paul in the New Testament.
Gomer - no, not Homer! - was the wife of the prophet Hosea.
Methusalah, the oldest person named in the Bible, said to have lived until he was 969.
Achsah was the daughter of Caleb, who offered her in marriage to Othniel in the Old Testament.
Wilgefortis. According to a story dating back to the 14th Century, Saint Wilgefortis took a vow of virginity when she was promised in marriage by her father. Following her prayers for help, she grew a beard and moustache.
Zipporah, wife of Moses.
Radbod was Bishop of Utrecht around 900 AD.

There's a few crackers there, eh Benny? But if you think my forthcoming progeny is going to be called Wilgefortis Etheidwithas Radbod or Achsah Zipporah Jezebal then I reckon you might be sorely disappointed! I'd rather it was called Brooklyn or Peaches - or alternatively stick a red hot needle through my eyeball!

So who says the Papacy is out of touch with reality, eh?...

New Global Warming video

If you thought that 10:10's video blowing up little kiddies in the classroom was scary stuff, then take a look at this one...

The Snot Gobblers Guide to the Galaxy

This is a first for this blog. I couldn't have put this better myself, so I'm not going to try

What follows is an excellent review of Gordon Brown's new book by Supertzar.

When you read Tony Blair's response to the coalition's plans, when you consider the ideas Frank Field had to transform welfare in Britain, when you look at the spectacular growth in ultimately ineffective tick-box City compliance, when you consider the £6bn the UK Exchequer lost from selling the country's gold reserves or the decimation of private sector pensions, when you consider which country alone had a run on its banks or look at the level of indebtedness and structural defecit in the UK, you begin to notice a thread.

It's quite clear that the country has paid a high price for the grandiose delusions of Gordon Brown. Whether delaying welfare reform, jacking up taxes with precious little to show for it, reducing the UK's competitiveness, increasing spending in huge (Labour voting) swathes of the country to Soviet levels or crushing incentives to create the wealth we need to both close the defecit and pay down the £1 in every £4 spent that we currently borrow, this deranged, abusive, out-of-control lunatic has his hands all over the crime scene.

Having failed the first test of democracy he has faced outside of his constituency, one might expect Gordon Brown to have spent his time reflecting on his 'contribution' to the UK. Or perhaps make amends by devoting his time to serving his constituents. Not a bit of it. At the date of publication, the poor deluded folk of Kircaldy and Cowdenbeath have been represented in parliament for a mere handful of the 200 odd days for which their MP has been paid. Instead, Gordon Brown has devoted his time to knocking off this 300-page exercise in personal exculpation.

As he notes in his introduction, Brown is neither a financial expert nor an economist. Which might explain, but does not excuse, his lamentable diagnosis of the causes of the financial meltdown he fomented. It was all bankers paying themselves too much apparently. If only they'd paid themselves 10% less, all would have been fine. What about if public sector payrises had been pegged to inflation or a certain Chancellor hadn't raided - and thus destroyed - private sector pensions or what if the banking regulation system that had worked for hundreds of years had been left in place or what if the asset bubble had received some attention by, say, increasing the banks' capital adequacy ratios?

You can take your pick of brilliant hindsight-derived ideas, Gordon, but ultimately, you were in charge and your delusions about abolishing boom and bust meant you spent so much of our money, we now have to borrow just to pay off the interest. Your diagnosis is utter delusion from start to finish.

Nurse, the screens please...

93 Men in a Boat (5) : The Know-it-all

"I'm glad we're going to Samoa rather than Tonga," said Mr Know-it-all to me one evening over dinner. "It's so much nicer."

"Really" I replied. "Have you been there before, then?"

"No" he answered.

"Well I've been to both before, so I think we will have to agree to differ on that one..."

Now anyone with half a brain might decide to shut up at the point or perhaps change the subject. But that's the point of course. Mr Know-it-all only has half a brain, so he's not going to be out off by facts!

"Pago Pago has one of the most dramatic harbour approaches in the world", he went on.

"Really? Well it's got some quite pretty hills either side but I wouldn't have said it was particularly special."

"Oh, no" he went on. "You're absolutely wrong on that one!"

"Well," I said, "as it's in U.S. Samoa I can only assume you read that in an American guide book?"

On another occasion, a couple more clever bastards were lecturing me about a boat called the 'Atoll Explorer' that sails around the Maldives. They've been on it twice and it is, of course, the only way to do the Maldives you know. Well, sorry guys but I've been there 7 times and it certainly isn't the only way - although it is one of the most expensive!

And then there are the snorkeling know-it-alls or 'Pratfish' as I call them. These are the ones who leap in the water, yell their heads off at each other, swim flat out at a full crawl whacking their fins on the surface of the water and then complain afterwards that they didn't see any fish. Well of course you didn't, you dopey sod! You scared them all away!

But my favourite type of pratfish is the 'Finless Pratfish'. In my humble opinion, anyone stupid enough to throw himself into open water in the Pacific Ocean without wearing fins has a serious death wish.

Several years ago, we were in the Seychelles and three of us went off the beach snorkeling. One of us had no fins. We hit a strong current and decided to go in - rapidly! Unfortunately, we hit an undertow and couldn't get in to the beach. It was a case of 2 feet forward and 3 feet back. And even worse, the one without fins was getting swept out even faster.

We linked arms and used our fins to work with the inward surges and managed to do 3 feet forward and two feet back. Slow progress, but at least it was progress and we lived to tell the tale, but without our fins, our friend would definitely have drowned.

I told a couple of finless pratfish this story. One listened, but the know-it-all didn't. I told him that if he decided to drown himself there was no way I was coming to help him.

Death by stupidity is a common but none-the-less terrible thing...

2018 : The nation is gutted

The three stooges : Beckham, Wills and Cameron in Zurich

Every household in the nation was gutted last night as it was announced that England will not be hosting the 2018 FIFA World Cup.

Well, no actually. That's bollocks...

Mrs D and I heaved a hefty sigh of relief when we found that this monumental waste of time, effort and money will not be coming to our shores. Indeed, when it was announced that we only got two votes - frankly one more than I expected - we almost found an excuse to crack open the bottle of Bolly that's languishing in my kitchen cupboard waiting for an excuse to be drunk!

And there's even more bollocks to be found. Here's some reactions :

"This decision has cost the UK about £4 billion." Bollocks! More likely it's saved us 7 or 8. Just look at the bill for the bloody Olympics.

"We need to have an enquiry into the state of English football." Bollocks! The opposition is jumping on the bandwagon. We don't need an enquiry - we're just no fucking good at the game.

"FIFA are sending a message to the world about where they want the World Cup." Bollocks! That's why they had an announcement yesterday, you prat!

"It's desperately sad." Bollocks, Dave! It's a bloody relief you don't have to spend all that money you keep telling us we don't have.

"The BBC didn't do us any favours." Bollocks! The BBC did us a huge great bloody favour!

And why did Russia get the World Cup?

Well, they probably know more about corruption than just about anyone else on the planet, so it's obvious : we simply didn't offer a big enough bribe...

READ MORE » 2018 : The nation is gutted

93 Men in a Boat (3) : The Superior Bastard

I first came across this type in the last bastion of British colonialism, Barbados.

There, the rich white Englishman feels free to exercise his undying belief that the slave trade is indeed alive and well and that he therefore has the God given white to abuse the wogs in any way he chooses. I hate these fuckers with passion!

Of course, when this type is cross pollinated with the miserable fucker (see previous post), then they really are something to behold...

The staff on our boat were extremely polite and exceptionally helpful and I really did feel unable to tolerate them taking abuse and not being in a position to answer back. Because of this, I feel honour bound to offer them my modest support and assistance whenever it becomes appropriate.

When this happens, Mrs D usually finds it necessary to retire either to our room or to the bar, depending on the circumstances and her mood at the time.

Unfortunately, on this occasion we were on an outing. The nasty little turd in question proceeded to attack one of the expedition crew for removing an empty cup before he had finished with it. Needless to say, he got both barrels from me on that one.

These people seem to suffer from a total and absolute lack of any obligation to display manners. I had the audacity to stand alongside one of these pigs one evening while a slide show was being displayed. Whilst minding my own business, he whacked me on the arm and yelled "Move! My wife can't see!"

Rather taken aback, I simply replied "And what's the magic word?" He glared at me and made no response, so assuming he was either deaf, stupid or both I inserted my face 6 inches from his nose and asked, rather loudly, "Did you mean to say would you mind moving aside please, you fucking ignorant ill mannered cunt?"

But the thing that always amuses me the most about the genus 'bastardus superiorii' is that I never seem to re-encounter these people in business class on the way home...

Fuck off, Benny [2]

Benny Ratshitter has struck again!

Now you have probably worked out by now that I do not exactly have a lot of time for the conclave of hypocritical bastards that comprise the catholic church. Well, this occasion is no exception.

Robert Edwards is the genius that gave the world IVF, as a result of which some 4.5 million infertile mothers have been granted the gift of motherhood. But does the catholic church think that as a result of this he deserves to be awarded the Nobel prize for medicine? Like fuck they do!...

Ignazio Carrasco de Paula, President of the Pontifical Academy for Life, said the award was 'entirely misplaced' and went on to say that 'Without Edwards there would be no market for human eggs; without Edwards there would not be freezers full of embryos waiting to be transferred to a uterus, or, more likely, used for research or left to die, abandoned and forgotten by all.'

He also blamed Professor Edwards for the 'current state of confusion of assisted procreation, children with four or five parents, babies born from their grandmothers.'

Well let's be honest : Firstly we would really expect the catholic church to get it's facts right would we? Secondly, if you don't play the game, then don't try and make the rules - unless of course you are prepared to admit that a priest's vow of celibacy is nothing more than a sham!

I know the pope is officially infallible, but you can fuck off on this one, Ratshitter...

Roll yer own...

As my good friend the Grumpy Old Twat rightly points out, when a load of looney eco nutters invites you to "make your own poster here", it would be churlish to refuse.

Go on - have a go. And as we used to say in the old CB days "10 10 'til we do it again..."

Going Green

I just got a mailing from Homebase of all people extolling the virtues and economics of going green by installing solar electricity panels on my roof.

So in the interests of saving the planet, let's take a closer look at what's on offer :

(1) "Solar PV panels convert light energy from the sun into electricity. Although they work best in full sunlight, they'll still work if it's cloudy." But as I heat and cook by gas, I use most electricity when it's dark. I asked. They don't work at night.

(2) "Get paid for every unit of electricity you produce, and even more for what you don't use." Apparently this works because "you'll be paid up to 41.3p***** for every unit of electricity you generate and an extra 3p for every unit you don't use and export to the electricity network". Sounds great, but "***** Based on retrofitting a solar photovoltaic system of less than (or equal to) 4kW in an existing, eligible property. Additional costs may be incurred." Additional costs? Hmmmm....

(3) So how do we get the figures then? "Remote monitoring of your system, from a smart meter fitted in your home****." Whoops - more asterisks. Ah - "**** The performance monitoring service also includes automated meter reading and is offered free for the first year to give you confidence in your installation. If you'd like it for longer, it can be continued at a charge of £4 a month." To put it another way, they charge you to meter it.

So cutting right to the chase, let's look at the costings :

A typical example* (Uh oh - another asterisk!)

Cost of our home solar power system = £11,150
Total savings on electricity bills = £2,426
FiT generation payments = £19,866
FiT export payments = £721
Total profit = £11,863

Looking good? Well, until you consider that "With a typical installation, you could break even in just under 13 years, giving you another 12 years of profit. You could make up to £700 in the first year alone and benefit from a typical annual rate of return of over 7%"

Also the 'optional' £4 per month metering charge more than wipes out your export payments. So it costs more to meter it than you get for exporting it.

And there are a lot of asterisks, and a lot of uses of the words 'typical' and 'could' in there, so I guess I need to simplify it for you :

If you are not thinking of staying in your house for at least 13 years, forget it. If you go to work all day and burn electric at night, forget it. If you don't think lashing out eleven grand to save 'up to' 'typically' £700 quid a year is a good return, forget it. And if you think it will save the planet, forget it.

I know where my £11,150 is going. Where's the holiday brochure?...

Rent-a-pal

God help us all! Rent-a-pal is coming to the UK!

This is the latest run away phenomenon in the US - where else? You sign up on the website and whenever you need a friend, you just pay to hire one.

Apparently this is a natural extension to social networking and computer dating. Apparently, we are all leading such busy lives 24/7 that we simply don't have time to go out make friends on our own any more. It fulfils the expectations of the modern generation for instant gratification.

Well - here's question for you. Are you sitting at work reading this when you should be working? If the answer is 'yes', then it's probaby because your boss is such a twat that he hasn't given you anything to do today. And that's probably because his boss is also a twat and hasn't given him any work either.

So now that we have established that your 24/7 busy, busy lifestyle is all bullshit, why not pick up the landline and ask a mate or two if they fancy popping down the pub or coming round for a meal later?

After all, real friends are free and it makes a lot more sense than paying to hire one...

Apeshit!

I'm off on holiday shortly (Yes! Again...), and have just recieved my tickets - along with a letter telling me about the latest invasion of our privacy and civil liberties.

APIS or Advaced Passenger Information System is yet another legacy from the bullshit Brown governmant foisted upon us because, of course, the Yanks have it so it must be essential for us!!

"Your airline is legally obliged to collect passenger information from all customers (including infants) who are travelling to, and in some cases from, those countries involved in your itinerary that require information, for electronic transmission to the relevant country's Customs and Immigration authorities prior to departure."

So I get a snotty letter from the tour operator telling me to go to a website and fill all this shit in. Apparently, this information will be "kept for no more than 10 years by the British Government." So now they are keeping a check on my movements in and out of the UK. I am, I might add, travelling to an EU country which, in theory, means that I don't need to use my passport (ha! ha!) so this new database gets around that one.

And if that's not bad enough, I am visitting the US for a couple of hours later in the year, so of course now I need to fill in their version - ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization). Even though I am eligible for visa waiver, I have to pay $15 to register that I am coming! I woudn't mind, but I am only changing terminals and flying straight out again.

Still, all this bullshit keeps the bureaucrats in a job and keeps track of all the plebs. Orwell would have loved it.

I'm getting a T-shirt printed : "I'm going APeshIt with ESTA" and on the back "Am I API? No - I ain't" which should impress immigration no end...

Piss boiler of the week

I am forced to borrow a phrase from my good friend the Grumpy Old Twat because this one nearly made me burst a blood vessel...

Basildon council has been given leave by the Courts to evict 'travellers' from an illegal site - in fact , the largest illegal traveller site in Europe - because of flagrant contravention of planning laws.

Actually, let's rephrase that. They didn't contravene planning laws, they just pretended they didn't exist and carried on anyway. Sort of stuck two fingers up to the law, really.

Now these delightful people who consider themselves above the law are to be evicted. So what do they do? Believe it or not, the cheeky fuckers write to the United Nations who, even more unbelievably, take them seriously and write to the British government accusing them of 'ethnic cleansing'!

Let's also point out at this stage that Basildon Council has offered them council housing - bet the ratepayers really love that one! However, this infringes their inalienable human rights because it does not offer them a 'culturally acceptable' alternative. Because they live in caravans not houses!

Just yesterday, they had a representative from the Equalities and Human Rights Commission come down to advise them of their 'rights'. Needless to say, she a was a foreigner.

And, apparently, they have also asked the Pope to intervene as they are all staunch catholics and are being discriminated against on religious grounds!

Christ all bloody mighty! Find me a darkened room!

You broke the planning laws. You are supposed to be travellers, so why don't you fuck off and go travelling? Preferably in another country as you feel this one treats you so badly...

Common sense and justice

I have nothing but admiration for the Gurkhas who fight in our armed forces, which is why I am so outraged at the latest bout of bureaucratic stupidity.

In Afghanistan, a Gurkha soldier, under heavy machine gun fire, beheaded a DEAD taliban so that he could take the head back to base for identification against the most wanted list.

For this act of selflessness under fire, he has been suspended from duty, sent back to the UK and awaits court martial. Apparently, if found guilty, he could be imprisoned.

Here's the question I want answered : Since when has it been illegal in this country for a foreign national to behead a dead person overseas?

Apparently, the problem is that the Afghans consider it bad form to dismember a dead body. They like all the bits to be buried together. Perhaps we should remind the Taliban of this custom after their IED bombs have scattered bits of our soldiers all over the landscape or when they decide to behead our soldiers.

There's a simple answer to this problem. Stick the head back on the rotting body, slap the man's wrist and say don't do it again...

...and then give him a medal for bravery under fire!

The good, the bad and the ugly.

For my sins, I have just returned from a four-day coach trip to North Wales.

To say it was an experience would be an understatement.

It never ceases to amaze me how some people will put themselves to enormous personal inconvenience to organise these things only to suffer the endless whingeing and complaining from the people who benefit from their efforts.

The food is in edible! The room is scruffy! The bed is uncomfortable! Oh yes...and some of the people!....

But it is important to remember that only other people are intolerant.

For example, the person who always wants the front seat on the coach....

The woman who queues at the coach door 20 minutes before the driver arrives....

Or the one who was fills her handbag from the breakfast buffet just to save buying lunch.

But the piece de resistance came at Portmeirion where one of our party went into the "Prisoner" gift shop, grabbed three books off the bookshelf, parked herself in Number 2's shell chair and spent the next half hour reading them before putting them back on the shelf.

Some people have more neck than a flamingo - and it ain't half as pretty!

Government talks CRAP!

Yesterday, at the O2 Arena in London, Chancellor George Osbourne unveiled his strategy for today's emergency budget.

"The options before us are simple," said Mr Osbourne. "What this country desperately needs is a damn good C.R.A.P. - a Cost Reduction Action Plan - and I've called you all here today to emphasize that the Coalition Government's number one priority is to cut out waste and unnecessary costs.

"The previous Labour government left us a legacy of Super High Increased Taxation, and if we are to pre-empt any further avoidable build ups of S.H.I.T., it is absolutely essential that we have a really thorough C.R.A.P. right now!

"Unfortunately, " he went on, "I have to tell you that there is a distinct possibility that one C.R.A.P. will not be enough if we are to save this country from being flushed right down the toilet."

Mr Osbourne was met with rapturous applause from the capacity 23,000 delegate crowd and at the five course lunch afterwards, was praised for his honest approach to the problem of keeping costs to an absolute minimum.

Is this the face of the new Euro parliament?

Apparently the EU are going to require us to submit our national budgets for approval before they can be announced not only to the nation, but to our own MPs.

And who thought up this brilliant idea? None other than the German chancellor Angela Merkel.

Now I know that the British people are slow to anger and moan a lot, but is this really what we fought the last World War to achieve? I say bollocks to the lot of them, and I am sure that lots of you out there agree with me.

But there is a glimmer of hope. David Cameron has attended his first Euro summit and has made it clear that "this won't be the case". However, there is an indication that at the next summit in the Autumn, pressure will brought on Mr Cameron to relax his opposition to the plan.

My advise to you, Mr Cameron, is to send them a clear and unequivocal message. I believe that this message should be "Fuck off - and if you don't like it then we're leaving."

I believe we can get away with that as not even the Germans have the money at the moment to start another war...