Washington protests continue

Anti-government protests are continuing in Washington today as thousands gather for yet another day in front of the Capitol building and round the Washington and Lincoln memorials.

Protesters are demanding that President Barrack Obama step down from office and that the right wing regime move towards full and proper democracy. So far there has been little reaction from Obama although the state controlled media are reporting the demonstrations as 'dangerous and undemocratic'.

The army and the National Guard has been surrounding the demonstrators but so far show no stomach for taking direct action. Some skirmishes have taken place between pro-Presidential supporters and the protesters and last night, the fourth night of this protest, several people were injured. The government has denied that the CIA was responsible for orchestrating the violence in order to influence public opinion against the demonstrators.

Chants of "Revolution! Revolution!" and "Democracy now!" have resounded around the Capitol where the administration is in emergency session to decide what to do next.

A spokesman for the Arab League said "We have demonstrated that people power in Tunisia and Egypt can bring down these authoritarian and corrupt regimes and replace them with a truly democratic process by the people for the people. We urge the American President to demonstrate his commitment to bring this about in the United States. Change needs to happen now, and it needs to be meaningful."

Sources close to President Obama commented "He is going nowhere. He has a degree in obstinacy." 

READ MORE » Washington protests continue

Superbug pandemic confirmed

Back in April last year, I revealed that the world was in danger of being overrun by the latest superbug Americanus 4nPolyC.

Well, I am sad to have to announce that in recent weeks the disease has reached pandemic status.

The bug has already been responsible for thousands of deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan, and there are unconfirmed rumours of an outbreak in Iran.

The recent events in Tunisia indicate that there may be the start of an outbreak there, and over the past week there have been many cases reported in Cairo. The authorities in Egypt have confirmed that there have been a number of deaths reported.

A spokesman for the international health organisation 'Mediciens sans Scrupulo' says that nothing much can be done under the prevailing circumstances and believes that regimes must change in order to bring this bug under control.

So far, the only country that seems to be uneffected is the United States. A White House representative told us : "4nPolyC has so far not worried us in the US. We believe that we have the finest system in the world for dealing with things and if everyone else did it our way, then the world would be a better and safer place."

Doctors warn that there may be a danger of the disease mutating into something far more worrying. Already another strain 4nCIA may already be in situ in other countries...

READ MORE » Superbug pandemic confirmed

New superbug set to sweep the world

News today from the Department of Health that a new superbug has been discovered.

The bug, "Americanus 4nPolyC", seen pictured on the left is easily identified under the microscope by its distinctive red, white and blue stripes. It contains the deadly enzyme US4Fr which is resistant to all attempts to control it.

A spokesman for the DoH, Dr. Quango Gravietrane, said "We have tried everything to stop the progress of this bug, but nothing we do seems to make any difference. If left unchecked, it could dominate the world!" A frightening thought indeed.

The bug is believed to have originated in the Pakistan region possibly crossing the border from neighbouring Afghanistan and brought home by American troops.

There is, however, one glimmer of hope; In Scotland, a man given only three months to live has survived for a year. US officials have called for his medical records to be examined but the Scottish administration so far has resisted this call saying "We have the situation firmly under our control."

READ MORE » New superbug set to sweep the world

Happy birthday America!

As today is the official birthday of the mighty USofA, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the origins of this great nation...

"America," as a wise man once put it, "is a nation of mongrels swept from the gutters of Europe." So how did it become the nation it is today?

Well, after we had cleared out the gutters and sent them all off to fight indians, we still had some ne'er do wells left. So now we needed to ship the rest over and then get rid of the place. After all, it was a long way away, cost us a fortune to maintain and we had never received a penny in taxes. They wanted to break away and this suited us just fine.

But how to do this? We couldn't just give it away. So we hatched a master plan. We would draft all the rest of the cannon fodder into the army and send them off to America to fight the yanks. Then we drew a line across the map, kept the good bit, and called it "Canada".

And if you think this is all guff, ask yourself why the American War of Independence is the only war Britain has ever lost...

READ MORE » Happy birthday America!