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Considering that I'm pretty home-bound these days, I've managed to do quite a fair bit of web surfing and have been hooked on the Craigs List. Posting, some. But I really enjoy reading the posts up there. Was checking out the London CL to see what the people there were up to and here's a few interesting posts:

PS - I am such a snob, its delightful. Got a call just now (I swear I've removed all my personal ads that had my phone no.), and as the guy was blah-blah-ing, I rolled my eyes and simply put down the phone. I think it was a malay guy. Thank you for the chance to put down the phone on you. The satisfaction - was delicious. xoxo

Snuffed

Interesting turn of events today. So interesting that it will go down in history as the day that changed everything.

"The tribe has spoken"... "It's time for you to go."

Today marked the elimination episode of my day job. The old fucker discontinued my services. Upset? Damn fucking right I am.

Today also marked a full year of slaving away at that shit hole of an office. Not to be mistaken as being sour grapes but many months ago, I did make a promise to not stay any longer than 12 titles. Learn as much as you can and then run - I remember ranting in another blog of mine. And the prophecy came true.

Somehow, I am still having mixed emotions about this. Half of me is upset - angry upset, while another half is just so damn relieved. Just that perhaps I will feel completely relieved when I've managed to clinch another position. Easily. At another company. Simply to proof that it is their loss. Not mine.

Another reason why I am not depressed-sad kind of upset, is cause in the final heart-to-heart talk that I had with my direct boss, we actually managed to sort out our misunderstandings and disagreements..

"...because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Just as long as my relationship with her is back on track and she's no longer upset with me, I am at ease. She's the only one that matters most to me and I really don't wish to let her down. At least I know that she and my other boss are on my side. Its just that old fucker at the top that hates my guts.

Like a Survivors game of Heroes vs Villians, I might be eliminated but somehow I can still leave with my head held high and take my exit stride like a true hero. I am more than estatic to leave that shit-hole, not that I intended to stay for too long and grow old and mouldy in the air-conditioned comfort.

Now the only step left to complete the rites as the fallen hero, is to find another job. fast. pronto!

Another reason why I am pretty pleased with myself is cos someone's taking me to the Patrizio Buanne concert. You know how I've been dying to go but refuse to fork it out of my own pocket. Well, so I tried my luck and 'dangled the carrot' in the classifieds. My companionship in exchange for a night-out 'date' to watch Patrizio Buanne.

As the date draws near and I'm still pfftt-ing whenever Patrizio goes 'Hey Mambo... Mambo Italiano' in the tv ads, I almost screamed when I saw that someone has finally taken the bait. Phewww... just when I almost lost hope.

So yeah, I'm gonna Mambo my way to the pinnacle. It ain't over till its over, baby. This is not the end. This is the beginning. The beginning to that old fuckers end. He will pay. Oh yes he will. Maybe not tomorrow, or the day after. He better pray he wont live too long cos he would rather roll over and die than to to see the day I get my payback.

Cos nobody... NOBODY snuffs the Queen.

xoxo

Meeting an agent tonight

So I chickened out of the meeting with the Lian from the escort agency... the fact that she said they cater to locals was pretty alarming.

This morning, I was greeted by another email from Lady P, the lady from the first agency that contacted me. Boy, is she persistent! So I'm meeting her this evening... quite nervous. Strange thing when I visited their website, it looks a lil like my blog.. hahah.. with S'pore night skyline as the background. Fated?... I dunno. Let hope I dun get cold-feet and chicken out again :P

I looked up on the company and also found their ad on a personals classifieds...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi there,

We are an Escort company reruiting girls at the moment. We are looking for girls between the ages of 18 to 35 years of age. Looks are not a big matter to us but you must be voluptous looking girl. Not too skinny or too short.

We pay you a minimum sum if you fall within our requirement and is hired. We accomodate you with housing and accessories and transportation.

Call/sms me at xxxx-xxxx and we chat further.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This morning on my way to the office, my phone was still chiming off its hooks. Managed to clinch a date with this South African fella. 1.79m, blonde, blue eyes... he said. Once the deal was set, I asked his aged and was knocked off my ass....

18?!!!!

Is that the legal age already? I really dun wanna be screwing a minor *bites nails*

xoxo

Bad English

You know how one of my top pet peeves is 'bad english'. I don't mean to be so fussy and picky about it but I insist that it reflects the kind of person you are and clearly, your level of intellect. It is how I separate the potential educated, fuck-worthy ang-mohs from the social retards, and spare myself the misery later.

In the fourth wave of sms-responses to my online personal ad, below are the sms-es that have made it to my Hall-of-Shame. Instead of paying to get laid, they should better consider language classes instead. For your entertainment... enjoy!

Money, Money, Money

I can be a real snob if I want, whenever I want to.

Especially when it comes to screening potential clients. After a while, I've developed this talent for rounding up a guy just from the way he sms-es. From the way he choose his words, I can decide whether he's even worth texting.

I guess I've made this clear since Day 1 that I'm not doing this for the money. Simply recreational (but later decided that it pays t0o, so why not). That's why I can afford to be all snooty about it, pick and choose the lucky men who gets to shower their moolahs on me.

[Oh oh... phone call. It's the girl from the escort agency. t.b.c...]

Will tell you about that phonecall later.

As I was saying... Yes, ever heard about 'Pricing Strategy'? It's a marketing term and it is the reason why I've capped my charges to $150/hr. The cheapest girl on a social escort site that I've seen is $200, even that she'll have to split with agency for commission, while a street-hooker along Geylang is easily $40 a pop.

My personal ads would also clearly state one thing: Expats only.

Definition of expat: ex·pa·tri·ate (ěk-spā'trē-āt') - someone who lives temporarily or permanently in a country/cultural group other than the one he originally comes from.

MY definition of expat: rich angmoh (who's overpaid with an obscene amount of money that he doesnt know what to do with it)

At times, I do bend the rules a little. You gotta be either rich or angmoh. But still $150/hr.

I've fixed myself to that amount because it is targetted at men who can truly afford it. Not for men who have to scrimp and save to afford it. Locals will never pay that kind of price cos if they are that horny, they would know better where to get the cheap ones. So far I've only done one local guy; a newbie, so let that be an experience for him.

For me, it's either you can afford it or you don't. Some cheapskate ones would even try to bargain and haggle the price, making me feel like some fish at the pasar... It is a major turn-off. Usually when that happens, I'll just cut them loose and move on to the next one.

If you can truly afford it, you won't feel the pinch when you have to part with your money. Tonight's case scenario was totally the opposite. Another one of my misadventures that'll go deep in my escorting journal.

My client turned out to be a bleak, twiggy, mini-sized 26 y.o Indonesian fella. I dun have any problems with Indonesians. Really. I love Indonesians. The ones with thick wallets.

Firstly, my boy was late and he made me wait under his block for about half-an-hour. I waited till my mousse-up hair went flat. Apparently he is on his way home from work.

Secondly, he told me to take the lift up to the 12th floor, just to see him suspiciously hiding at the staircase. When I found him, he whispered that his flatmate hasn't left the house and that we would have to wait a while more. What made me flare up was when he suggested that I give him a blowjob on the staircase first while waiting for his flatemate to leave the house. What am I? 16? Make out at the staircase, you've got to be kiddin me!!!

When he saw that I was upset, he took out his wallet and showed the $150 that he has for me. That almost blurred my judgement for a while, until he said he'd give me a $20 deposit for a blowjob and pay the rest once the hour is done. WTF!!!!????

I was so furious that I just stormed away. We had already discussed this via sms that I need my payment upfront before we proceed. And to think that he's being very difficult with parting with his money, just shows that he actually can't afford it and the risk of him not paying in full at the end of the service was evident. So this time, I decided to listen to my guts and leave.

As I waited for the lift, he still had the cheek to say - "Pls dun leave, I really want to touch your breasts."

The lift door opened and before I stepped in I said to him," U dun want to pay yet you still want to touch?" I gave him one last glare and left.

I was cursing and swearing at the boy for wasting my time. But I wasn't like really fuming mad, but somehow felt a lil sad for him. He's probably working as a waiter, somewhere, yet still want to spend that hard-earned money on prostitutes? I thought I'm the only one with the whacked sense of judgement.

After tonight's episode, I am nothing but more focused on getting my desired target audience. Expats - rich angmohs. And I shan't settle for any less. One thing I've learnt from experience is that the ang-moh are definitely more gentlemen and they never, never haggle. Plus, they have all that money and that's where I've got my eyes on. I don't want the local's (MY definition of local: working class Singaporean/ Malaysian/ Indonesian) money. Their money is hard-earned and shouldn't be spent like that. Sorry locals, your money is not valid with me.

Another community service brought to you by the Ministry of Sex (and) Affairs.

xoxo.

p/s: Meeting the girl from the agency tomorrow at 2pm. Spoke to her over the phone and not surprisingly she sounds very lian, and speaks fluent singlish. If the discussion goes well tomorrow, I might. Just might... sign up as a freelance escort with her agency.

Fourth Ad Post

Was contacted by another escort agency just now. I hesitated a while before I replied to her sms. Checked out their website and all...before I knew it I've scheduled to meet her tmw for lunch.

Pretty excited about it. Though I hv to make sure that this is 'die-die' discreet. I dun want them to post my pics all over the web or something.

Anyway, I've posted another personal ad online and have clinched a 'date' for tonight. Lucky for me, it's pretty near my place... so I get to save on transport. Heh.

xoxo.

Research pt. 1

Entertaining the idea of setting up my own escort website. Doing some research at 3 in the morning, when actually my eyes are screaming for me to go to sleep. Anw, here are some 'references' I've found:

http://www.nicoletoronto.com/ (ok- ok)

http://plussizebarbie.com/ (a bit ermm, cheesy?)

http://montrealbbwindependentescort.com/ (wow! she's really got it together. inspiring!!!)

http://natachabbw.blogspot.com/

http://sofia-international.com/

http://letmepleaseyou.moonfruit.com/

Suddenly I dont feel so alone :)

xoxo.

Tears of Blood

Strange enough, I didn't feel bitter when the nasty accident last Sunday left me swollen with a soon-to-be scar on my face. Somehow I feel like I sorta deserve/ ask for it.

I managed to snap a pic of myself right after the accident (as evidence) and it looked like I was crying tears of blood.

Remember what I said about a looking for a distaction, well now I've got it. Right smack in the face. I have always believed that all deeds are judged on its intentions. And the fact that I was looking forward to another wave of on-call jobs end of the month, was probably the cause.

Seems like I'm starting to feel all spiritual again. How I should probably feel blessed that so far, I've only had the kindest of men as my clients (one which I even got involved emotionally with recently). And that I was lucky the accident last Sunday didn't involve a life and death situation.

I was all by myself when the accident happened. For a moment there, I felt so alone and helpless. It wasn't all the blood or the pain, but that one dizzy moment of lonliness that scared me. I ended up spending my Sunday at the A&E and I'm still on mc today.

I don't have a Ben to share my woes with, I lost my Alex to the open sea... friends can see the wounds on the surface, but they have no clue about its hidden repercussion. All I've got is this secret diary...

When I got home that day to check my email, look what I found...

Heh.

xoxo.

Today was a fairytale...

Tonight, I lost my ability to 'compartmentalise'.

Tonight, I allowed myself become a woman again and felt the warmth over every inch of my skin.

Tonight, I walked home with tears in my eyes.

You know how when you leave out a block of frozen meat to thaw, and as it softens, condensation forms around it, creating a pool of water from the melted ice. Yeah, that was what happened to my heart. It thawed and ruined my mascara.

I haven't felt like this in years. I remember telling myself a few months back, that perhaps I've lost the ability to love or at least develop a sense of fondness for anyone. Perhaps my heart has simply turned stone cold and numb.

But tonight was one of the most amazing nights in my life that I will never forget.

As I laid on the grass, in the warmth of his arms, I stared at the velvet blue sky sprinkled with stars and felt like the luckiest whore on the planet. The breeze whispered a sweet tune as we chatted and kissed in the dim lit park behind my house. I've never brought anyone anywhere near the proximity of my home. Not even boyfriends.

Popeye waited for me at the Jurong Point taxi stand where I picked him up at about 9pm. We've been texting each other eversince our first meetup on Wednesday and decided less than a few hours ago to meet again. When he asked (sms) whether we're meeting as a client or friend, I teased him and said I've upgraded him to friend status.

If I was whoring purely to make money, then this probably isn't productive and not such a smart business move. But my intentions from the beginning was to meet people from different walks of life, those whom I would probably never meet as our paths will never cross. Popeye was one of them.

In a way, I'm rather glad I took up escorting. If not this magical moment would have never happened.

I've been to the park once before for a jog and discovered the place. We 'hiked' up to the peak of the hill and found that there were already a few other couples that were way ahead of us. With no vacant benches, we settled for the grass and just started to chat. I started off with a confession. Now that we're friends, I wanted him to know my real name. He asked for my real age but I was still in denial and refused to reveal it. Heh.

We talked about alot of things... his work, his family. As we laid down and looked at the stars, he pointed out which ones were stars, planets and satelites. I'm secretly starting to adore him even more now. I told him about my day, how I went to buy 2 of Adam Lambert's CD just to get a chance at a lucky draw. Of course he mocked me for it and wouldn't stop teasing about it later. He said he really like being in Singapore cos back in England (he's from the north) you can never do this (lie down in a park at night, cos it would be 18 degrees outside).

The setting was perfect and as I snuggled up and laid my head on his chest, my right hand went under his shirt to rub his nipples. Did I mention how I love the way our body 'fits'? We kissed a little bit more and then he asked about my family and I told him about my initial impression of sailors. But then we saw a few people walking up to where we were and we had to quickly sit up and look innocent. We talked some more and I told him that I'm not usually like this... sentimental and all. Then he said something like - he tries not to feel attached to anything as his jobs requires him to be away for many many weeks.

[urgghh..Water works again. *breathe... breathe*... Damn PMS]

And of course I try to understand what he is trying to say. That I shouldn't start to develop these feelings for him cos it might not lead to anything. But it was the sudden realisation that even as I was sitting beside him, it is not the real me that he sees. He knows me, from merely TWO days ago, as the social escort who was paid $150/hr to have sex with him. I am a prostitute. And no man can ever love a prostitute.

An undescribable heaviness landed on my heart as I reminded myself that this ain't a tv-series that I'm watching... it is my life. I'm a prostitute. Oh my god, I'm a prostitute. How did I even dare to think that he will like me?

[...more water works]

Then I felt his hand rubbing my back. Perhaps he felt my sadness. Whats sad is also that his stay in Singapore has been cut short and he'll be leaving next week. Well, everyone's got to wake up from their dreams, right?

But at least we still had this last few moments to share and I wanted to make the memories last. As we kissed and I gazed into his bluish-grey eyes, I worked my way through his belt and undo his buttons and voila! He was right about the stiffy. He was complaining that he was walking around in it all day.

I wanted him to have the best blow ever and leave Singapore with fond memories. It is nice to blow when you really mean it to be good, as you don't have the tendency to gag. I worked him for about 5 mins and then I heard the oh-so-familiar line - "I think I'm about to cum". Usually I'ld love to see their faces when they cum but this time, I didn't want to lose the momentum and pace. So I continued sucking untill I tasted the warm, thick liquid in my mouth. With my lips still wrapped around this 7-incher, I swallowed his cum and didn't leave a drop. Its not so messy that way... being outdoors and all.

When I turned to look at him, his face was blushing red and I teased him for panicking. Then he said I was a really naughty girl. Everyone says that. I still wonder why.

As we continued to lie down, he placed his arms around me and we snuggled really tight. I love his scent. Hugo Boss. I told him that if I ever miss him, I'll have to go sniff a Hugo Boss scent card from the department store. He turned and held me tighter and planted a kiss on my forehead.

That moment... will last me an eternity. Nobody.. and I say nobody, has ever kissed me on the forehead. Not even mom. And it was the most comforting and beautiful feeling I have ever felt in my entire life.

Soon it was time to go and we slowly made our way down to the main road so that he can catch a cab back to Tuas. On our way down, he said he wished we had met 10 months earlier (when he was in Singapore) and I said we can still kep in touch through emails. And then he alerted me about how there won't be any internet connections while he's at sea (usually 4 weeks long)..."So if I have not replied, don't think that I'm ignoring you", he said.

We kissed our last goodbye as I waved him away in the blue Comfort.

Crickets... the sound of cars whizzing by... silence... and I'm back to being alone again.

I whipped out my Jalou and played that song by Katie Melua - Piece by Piece...

First of all must go
Your scent upon my pillow
And then I'll say goodbye
to your whisper in my dreams

And then our lips will part
In my mind and in my heart
Cos your kiss
Went deeper than my skin

Piece by piece
is how I'll let go of you
Kiss by kiss
Will leave my mind
One at a time
One at a time

I'll shed like skin
Our memories of lazy days
And fade away the shadow of your face...

I really need to get new mascara cos this supposed waterproof one doesn't seem to be tearproof.

Guess I'm not as heavy-duty as I thought...

xoxo.

7 inches wo!!!

Why do boys always assume I'ld like to keep a picture of their cock? Maybe they're just weird in their own self-loving ways... As much as I love porn, I don't think I need to keep a private penis photo collection. Today I found Popeye's dick sitting in my inbox. *yummm*

Oh and how was the 'date'?... It went especially well. I even accompanied him to Funan IT Mall after that cos I didn't really feel like going back to office. He wasnt like how I imagined him to be. I assumed that sailors were loud, 'cocky' (puns intended), rude... but he was none of it. In fact, he's nice, polite and really sweet.

When I was bj-ing him, he said 'May I?' before rubbing my clit... like how adorable is that?

And... I've heard of 6'3 but never met anyone who is... and I tell you, he is bloody talllll. Not to mention he's 7 inches. Mind-blowing!

He's got to be one of my favourites (if not the most) cos our bodies seemed to 'fit'. Popeye's the typical big and tall ang-moh and riding him was very enjoyable since I'm on the plus side too. At least I don't have to be afraid if I should crush his ribs or something. He's also the first one to finger-fuck me to orgasm. And the sex was awesome. Did I mentioned he's a 7 incher?
I hate it when I get sentimental like this.

{Congrats to QueenB on her second Ang-moh! Double pat on the back.}
xoxo.

My FIRST Sailor

Got a 'date' with a sailor this afternoon. Received his email yesterday and was rather pleased with his honesty (he even attached his pic:)

25 years young, 6'3, blue eyes, from England (wats with you and English boys, QueenB??)

Supposed to meet at 8.30pm but he just texted to meet earlier at 4pm. Guess I gotta be a naughty girl and slip out of office again...

(Note to self: Cannot make it a habit to slip out and fuck during office hours!!!)

Will update on the sailor man... *will it be cheesy to nickname him Popeye? hehe*

xoxo.

Tea-time and dangling carrots (part 1)

Today was interesting.
A tea-time quickie at Market Street with Marcus, and a debut performance of my fuck buddy, Lee.

Yup, we havent fucked eversince our first date. Can u believe it? What kind of a fb is tt?

Anw, i've already lost my taste bud for Lee (for making me wait so long. Not tt I waited in e first plc) and jz wanted to fuck him to see if he was as good as he claims to be.

But after today, all I can say is, Lee is officially de-throned. Big? Hah. I'll say tt pic of him was probably doctored.

What pleased me most was seeing Marcus again. I thought I had seen e last of him so when I saw his email in my gmail, I was briming with joy! I knew he wouldnt forget me tt easily.

The build up to our 'meet up' was what made it all so much fun.
First thing I do when I wake in e morning is to check my mail. Doesnt everyone? Not you? Ok. Well at least Taufik Batisah does. How I know? Dont ask.

Back to what I was saying. Time was 9am as I grinned frm ear to ear as I read Marcus's signature one-liner email. 7.25am - time it was sent. Someone woke up real early.

I think I read it about 50 times before I managed to reply it. It was a continuation frm our email chat frm the previous evening before he headed out for dinner. I call it email chat cos we conversed via one-liner emails with a 1 to 3 min pause inbetween. A conversation which couldve taken us 10 mins if we'd picked up e phone, but just chose to prolong it to a spread of 2 hrs while I multi-tasked between emails, paper work and small talk with colleagues. Yeah, tts jz hw much we love to tease each other. I wonder hw HE gets his work done.

I decided to tease him further by attaching a file to this email. A pic of me in e (un)dressing room.

Body text: I'm still mad at you.

Oh thats cos he resisted the idea of meeting up with me the night before. Or my failed attempt to tempt him enough. Whichever way u choose to see it.

He only replied sometime after lunch. By the time it was 3pm, he was dangling his carrot in my face. Lucky for me, it is pretty easy to get in and out of the office with no one to question.

The afternn heat toasted my bare skin as Market St greeted me, this time with the buzz of the working bee colony. This plc looks different WITH people.

I whizzed past reception with unquestionable confidence, looking like i'm about to attend to an absolutely urgent matter. Who would hv guessed that urgent matter is a throbbing cock?

I've become rather familiar with the path tt leads to his office. Abt 20 steps to his door, I txted him - 'I'm right outside', and reached jz in time to catch him pop out his head, looking out for me.

to be continued...
xoxo.

★Backstreet Boys★ feat. Dr. K

I really shouldn't have pressed that button. Itchy fingers!!! I should not have checked my email on my phone before the concert. In the end, I couldn't stop thinking about the contents of the email and got very distracted, bothered and to a certain degree.... upset. At every BSB song which I didn't know the words (mostly the new songs), all I could think about was that STUPID email. Fuck. (See Dr. K's email below)

See the kind of emails I get? Now he's giving me advice about losing weight??! It has been something which I've been battling my entire life. I havent had rice for 2-weeks now and I am so bloody hungry, all I can think about is stuffing my face.

Best girl in the city???... Should I be flattered or insulted, coming from him.

Arrrrggggghhhhhhh. Bloody pek chek, man!

Rae of Light

goddess with white hat and beads - burning man 2009

My phone has been chiming off its hooks with sms-es and I just had to get my prepaid topped up.

Last night was a rather easy task. Other than the fact that the boy was late, but it was alright as at least I didn't have to rush. I checked in first into the hotel along Bencoolen while I wait for Rae to arrive. Rae is 27 years old. A local boy of Chinese-Malay mix. He's a newbie and last night was his virgin escort-experience. He, on the other hand, is my third.

For once I felt very in-control of the situation. Boy walks through the door. Boy sits on the far end of the bed. I lie in bed. We both watched Jurassic Park on tv. Never before has JP been so engaging. Rae was really shy. So shy that he cant bring to turn his face to look at me. His face was towards the tv most of the time. A boy of few words, he only answered my questions with a yes, no, i don't know and maybe.

I, on the other hand, was secretly worried about the time. So I tried out Belle's liner - " Do you have something for me...?" Looking apologetic for forgetting, he fished out his wallet, counted through some crispy notes and handed them to me. You should have seen the grin I was trying to hide. The money was such a huge motivation. Like someone once said, 'Just close your eyes, hold your breath and just think of him as your next paycheck.'

I slowly asked him to relax, lie back... take off your shirt and hang it. And he followed my instructions so obediently.

The boy had a small frame and rather skinny. I had to be careful not to put my entire body weight on him or he might die from suffocation. Rae is the same age as me. But he is sooo not my type and I won't fuck him for free. As I let him squeeze and fondle my breast, I closed my eyes and imagined it was Marcus. Suddenly I felt something rubbing my clit and it was his finger.

Right hand squeezing my right breast, left hand down south rubbing my clit... and I placed both my hands against the bed post for support as moaned and groaned to the pulsating rhythm. Hmm, for someone shy, this boy sure knows what he is doing.

I later returned the favour by giving him head. He was quite well-endowed and had a good girth to flaunt. It didn't take long for him to cum... I chose not to swallow, instead I held his cock firmly in my hands as squirts of white viscous liquid flowed like lava from a volcano. I could feel the throb in the palms of my hands as his faced mirrored his pleasure. First round completed.

Before he went to wash up, I teased him,"Next round, I want you to take charge,"half, commanding, half teasing.

On the second round, once I've made him hard again, I whispered in his ear, "How badly do you want to fuck me?"

"Very badly." He moaned.

"Get on top of me and fuck me fast".

Rae simply followed as instructed and I could see that he was even bigger than the first round. As he got into a comfortable position, he had both his hands on my breast as he ride me slow, increasing the speed as he escalated my pleasure. I let out a big moan as he thrusted his thick cock even deeper into my wet pussy. Then not long after, I felt him pull out and saw that he was cumming.

While he attended to his cock, I made a quick glance to my watch and saw that I still had half and hour to go (Rae booked me for 2 hrs). But after he came out of the bathroom, to my delight, Rae started to put on his clothes. He said he had to make a move already cos he was meeting some friends.

I curled up under the sheets as I watched him dress. Yup, the boy's really scrawny lah :P Once he was set to go, he came close to me, shook my hand, thanked and promised to keep in touch.

*LOL* He shook my hand.

I was just glad that the hours went by pretty fast and uneventfully. I quickly got up and dressed.
Yet another night in the life of an escort.

xoxo.

S.O.S - I've been conned!

Escort Lesson #1:
Always hv a back-up exit plan.
I'm learning it the hard way. I am gurgling my throats out with iced lemon tea right nw after tt man kissed me!
I knew it. I should hv listened to my instincts. I should hv ran for my life when the girl at the recept told me tt e guest at rm 608 is not ang-moh, as I had told her.
The door opened sesame the moment I pressed e doorbell. I was horrified when I saw his face and beneath e layers of make-up I swear I went pale.

John is an 'oompa loompa'.

I stepped in anw n John asked me if I wanted to wash up first. I jumped at e chance to compose myself n hoped into e bathroom.
In e grey tiled claustrophobia, I was pulling my hair out, thinking hard to cough up an excuse to leave or should I say, escape.

Then I took a deep breath n slid open e bathrm door.
'John, I think we hv a problem. I dont think I can do this.
'I'm having my period'.
John's face dropped as he gasped in sincere disappointment.
'But I really like you. What bad luck,' he sighed.
Well at least he didnt flare up into a temper or demanded to check my panty stain or something.
'Yeah, I'm really sorry (not). I was really looking fwd to this (cos I didnt think it would be you). This is so unexpected (yeah. very!)
'Can I hv a hug at least?' and he came close and threw his arms ard me. I was not surprised when he pecked my cheeks. I obliged, almost feeling sorry for e man. Then he planted his lips on mine, and I felt like I had died a terrible death.
I quickly pushed him away and made my way out, feeling repulsed.
'Wait, I'll send u to e lift. U need e room card-key to go down'. I stopped in my tracks and smiled politely,
At e lift, John handed me a tenner. 'For your cab fare. Thanks for coming.'
'The emails... John Mills... Its not ur real name?' I probed.
'Yeah, its not my real name. I hv to b very discreet. My name is ****. I'm a doctor'.
OMFG.
I simply nodded to conceal my horror. 'I understand (but no less repulsed)'.
I was glad he didnt try anything while we were in e lift. The journey down from e 6th floor seemed to last forever.
When e lift door cracked open, I made a 100 metre dash that my P.E teachers would hv been so proud of. But not before gracefully saying goodbye.
I was half-running as I searched for a hide-out. I needed to get out of these fuck-me pumps. Pronto!
So here I am. Beating myself up with Clorets n iced lemon tea. Is there bleach somewhere? If I had let tt man touch me out of my will n purely for e money, then THATS prostitution. Whats worse is I had earlier obliged to a discounted rate. It wouldnt be enough to pay the fee for the shrink. Not to mention I would b traumatised for life.
Lessons to learn:
#1: Have an exit plan. U never know what's going to happen.
#2: Listen to ur gut feelings/ instinct (or they will stop talking to u).
#3: Never let the clients dictate the price. Haggling is simply unacceptable (what is this? the fish market?). If they cant afford my rates, there are others who can. I've learnt tt there is no way I can stand their faces n let them touch me, at a discounted rate. No elderly or student consession here, hun.
No money, no honey.
this time, i'm lucky... xoxo
{Sent via my Sony Ericsson Jalou}

Charlie & The Chocolate Shop

7.35pm ● Starbucks Vivo

I'm feeling estatic! Just stepped out of Page One with TWO of Belle De Jour's books. I nvr thought they hv it here in my tiny island. And nw I finally have em in my hands. Awesome!!!

I met up with a client earlier at 3pm. At first I thought i'd nickname him 'Ashok' as in like Belle's Ashok. But I think I'll name him Charlie... cos Charlie has a chocolate factory. Ok maybe not a factory but a chain of chocolate shops. Good enough. More than I'll ever ask for! *weeeheeeee*

I had actually wanted to bail when I caught sight of him. He wasnt really e Hrithik Roshan type tt I was imagining. As I walked away to exit e scene, something made me turn back. I dunno what. Perhaps I didnt hv e heart.

Firstly, you know I have this rule against going out with APNNs. But I do make rare exceptions for the Northern ones (cos they're a bit more good-looking). Charlie was one of them... I was trying hard to remember the name of a Bollywood actor that resembles Charlie and its Sunil Shetty (left). Not too bad lah. A bit scruffy, quite sexy... but if he looked like Shahid/ Arjun/ Akshay or Saif, it would be a million times better. (heh. a woman's allowed to be shallow too, right?)

Whatever it is, they are all uber-cocky anyway and Charlie, a S'pore PR, fits the cocky APNN stereotype to the T. But when he tried to coax me to meet him for coffee (just to get to know first - free :P) I wasn't interested until he mentioned his CHOCOLATE shop. He got me at chocolate.

Chocolate, by the way, is my krypronite. So I thought, fine. This might lead to something interesting. I'll give him a shot, just as long as the coffee's on him.

And so we chatted for about an hour at Starbucks. We shared our interests, fave music, movies, family, career, and talked about everything under the sun. It seems that our interests are quite the oppposite apart from the few common factors which is that we're loners and dont have many friends. All the time while chatting, I was trying to decide - fuckable? non-fuckable? fuckable? non-fuckable? The verdict didn't arrive till much later in the evening.

After our chat, he brought me to his shop. I was half expecting that he could have lied about the part where he owned the chain of stores but I guess he didn't. I've been to the shop before to relieve some chocolate cravings. Only once though cos most of the chocs are pretty expensive. Then Charlie gave a mini tour around the store and introduced me to the different kinds of chocolates - pralines, truffles, meringue etc.

The sweetest thing was when he asked me to pick my fave one... whichever one i liked, and said to take it as a gift from him. *meltzzzzzz*

So I picked put a white chocolate Fererro which when I later tasted, was uber sinful and drool-worthy. Soon after we said our goodbyes-'see-u-when-i-see-u's, I disappeared into the crowd to search for a hide-out to chill. Then my Jalou chimed and it was a text from Charlie.

Oooooh... he likes me, alright *winks*. And I didnt even realise he stole a glance at my butt, which is actually my biggest insecurity.

That night I managed to clinch an appointment with Charlie. Next Wednesday evening.

Like all other clients, I hope he won't bail. Till then, if it happens.. it happens.

xoxo

{Sent via my Sony Ericsson Jalou}

How To Sell Yourself Online (literally)

Today I posted my third personal classified ad. Instead of posting it on two different websites, this time round I only placed it on one.

The response so far, I gotta say, by the time I activated my new SIM card and planted it in yada yada... and finally switched on the phone, the text messages that flooded my inbox forced me to get a separate 'work' phone. I bought it at 7-11. Still can't digest that.

So yeah, now I've got 2 phones! *bravo*

Not that I think I'm soooo good at this, but I gotta be doin something right, right? Either that or there are really too many desperate guys out there. So I thought I'ld share my experience of posting a personal classifieds online and how I do it...

HOW TO SELL YOURSELF ONLINE (literally):

There are two very important elements when it comes to posting a personal classifieds. Not specifically for escorting only but it also applies for dating sites or social networks.

1) Words

2) Visual

Sculpt your bio/ profile/ personal description using descriptive words that can set the imagination dancing. Inject humour, use idioms or lyrics to flaunt your colourful personality in words. Don't pressure yourself to get it perfect the first time round. Simply scribble down any key words you'd wanna highlight about yourself and later piece it together.

If your mind is blank and you dont know where to start, perhaps you could read others' post/ ads and study how they 'market' themselves. Pick out their interesting choice of words and adapt it to your content. But under any circumstances, DO NOT ever copy others' words wholesale and claim it as yours cos then I'm gonna give you a bitch-slap.

It will show that not only are you stupid, you're also too lazy to think and use your brains, and also it shows that you have no respect for others (come on, already you're a whore. at least be a smart one)

I remembered last week when I went back to check on my ad post on the website and to see who else had posted what... I was so fucking mad when I saw a couple of posts using the very words that came from my fingers. Some fucking whores copied my ad to the extent of signing off the 'xoxo'. So for some strange reason, it felt like 'Gossip Girl' was theme of the week.

Since then, I've stopped 'xoxo'-ing.

Remember. You're not a refrigerator. You're hot flesh!!! So dont present hard statistics like you're writing a Product Manual. Weave the information into your sentences.

Keep it real. You can be in character and act up a lil pesona but remember to be yourself. Your readers should want to pay for a piece of you, not something that you eventually can't live up to. What you promise, you have to deliver, else you will lose credibility.

Below is a screen shot of my latest post. Its not exactly mind-blowing but what the hell, more than a dozen men fell for it...

-----------------------------------------------------------

I'm your Belle du Jour (obviously inspired by my latest telly obsession)

Are you looking for a sensual experience? Need a real lady to be your companion through those lonely evenings? (I emphasized 'real' here becos the previous ad posts were a number of she-males and lady boys) Well, you've found me - so lick your lips & text me, and I'll be in touch (puns intended *winks*).

I'm a full-figured woman, with curves and hot flesh that will melt your heart. I hope my 40C will make you happy. Am 5'5 tall. I'm not for all men. Only true gentlemen.

Love, (Queen B)

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At the end of the day, it is up to you how you want to 'market' yourself. For me, I consider myself very 'target-market' oriented. Its not about the money. It never was. Its about the company. Its not the number of people you get to fuck. It's WHO you fuck.

I specified my preference for expats very clearly in my ad. Actually what I really mean is 'ang-moh' but I didnt want to stream-line it too much. I would also want to appeal to the more intellectual crowd, the ones who actually understand the word-play and would appreciate my wit so that we can converse on the same level.

Look out for Part Two of my 'self-promo' 411: How To Sell Yourself Online (visually) coming up next.

xoxo.

Kejar ptp

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How To Sell Yourself Online (literally)

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