Showing posts with label ESCORT-411. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ESCORT-411. Show all posts

Michael Buble Crazy Love Tour 2011

Remind me NOT to go to the next Michael Buble concert.

I always say that but end up rushing to be the first to buy the tix the day it goes on sale :P I've never missed any of his concerts here.

The best parts of a concert is one where you can still recall one week after. The forgettable bits are obviously not even worth mentioning.

When 'Bubbles' thank the crowd for spending your hard-earned money, I totally could relate to the 'hard-earned' bit. Oh yes, mine was definitely hard-earned. Thanks to some disposable cash I had earned from escorting, I could buy my Category 1 concert tickets, the moment I heard he was coming, which was 3 months ago. But I was already one week late when I heard about it so that was why I ended up with this lousy seat (obviously not a Class 95fm listener).

On the whole, I have to honestly say that I did not enjoy the concert (there goes my $291 out the window). A lot of the songs he performed were unfamiliar, most of it were slow and it definitely was void of energy and fun. Throughout the entire concert, I couldn't stop thinking to myself, 'Oh how I really enjoyed the Mika concert', ' The Mika concert was so much more fun'. That was how deep the impression Mika left on me but definitely not Bubbles.

I wished he had performed more of his dancy-numbers like Sway or at least more medleys from his first album, which was what made his fans first fell head over heels over him.

But it was not all bad. I felt that he is much funnier this time round. Since when did this suave guy turn into a funny bloke? It was entertaining to see that side of him, especially when he was introducing his band. Because of the jokes, I could actually remember almost every member; from the guy from Haiti, to the guy who just had a newborn baby, to the nerd who plays the saxaphone! (I think he's pretty hot though.. love nerds!!!!)

The set and stage design was also rather lovely and I could see that they put in some effort into it (unlike most other concerts with plain 'I can't be bothered with Singapore' half-hearted kinda design). The music and accoustics were also pretty good that at some parts of the concert, I found myself enjoying the music and the band more than the artiste himself.

Unfortunately, I left the concert feeling depressed. Not as a figure of speech but really, I felt terribly sad. Then I remembered why I dont have a single Bubble song in my mp3 collection (yeah, and I call myself a fan). All the love songs had triggered that nerve that I have been suppressing over the years. As Bubbles crooned to 'I Just Havent Met You Yet', it then hit me - there isnt one real man in my life that I miss or have any feelings for. I have successfully devoid myself of love!

But isnt that what I've always wanted? To be emotionally independent and self-suffiecient - mission accomplished!

Yes...

... but why does it suddenly feel so cold and empty where I'm sitting?

I remember, before, I could imagine the face of that guy I'm crushing on, or that fella from far-far-away whom I wish could be mine. I know I could never have them but at least I had that 'motivation' or how do you put it, uh, like that sense of hope. But right now, there is no one that I have hopes for or is looking forward to meet. In my kind of situation, love songs simply become meaningless and sounds gibberish.

I could very well relate to this one song though... and this is the version in my head:

Me and Mr Jones,
we got a thing going on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it go now


We meet every day at the same cafe
Six-thirty and no one knows he'll be there
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the jukebox plays our favorite song


Me and Mr Mrs Jones,
Mr Jones, Mr Jones
We got a thing going on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it go now


We gotta be extra careful
That we don't build our hopes too high
Cause he's got his own obligations and so do I
Me, me and Mr...
Mr Jones, Mr Jones, Mr Jones


Well, it's time for us to be leaving
And it hurts so much, it hurts so much inside
And now he'll go his way, I'll go mine
But tomorrow we'll meet at the same place, the same time
Me and Mr Jones, Mr Jones, Mr Jones

-----

After the concert, I just felt so depressed that I decided to walk a bit instead of heading straight for the tube. I really needed someone to talk to (oh yeah, btw I went to the concert alone, as always) and to hear a familiar voice only to realise that I have no one. None.

I gotta describe that moment as my moment of ultimate weakness because before I knew it, I dialled Pierre's number. Pierre, btw, is one of my regular clients, infact he is the one I am closest to at this point of time. He is also very married, with children, yet very, ermm, 'fond' of me too. Pierre was in Shanghai on a business trip but if I couldnt talk to him, the arteries in my heart might explode.

Escort-411: This is a big no-no. Thats why I said it was my moment of weakness.

I have NEVER called up my clients, regular or not, because its the discretion rule. But we ended up chatting on the phone for over an hour, yeah, long-distance (oh god, please protect me from my phone bills later this month) and I swear when I first heard his voice when he picked up, I just wanted to cry. I have underestimated the comfort of a familiar voice.

I felt a tad better after that. The tears were saved from downfall but I'm staying well away from the love songs or it might trigger these flood gates again.

And I still felt that I didn't get my money's worth from Bubble's concert this year. Disappointing.

x.


Michael Buble | Crazy Love Tour 2011 | Singapore Indoor Stadium | 09.03.11
READ MORE » Michael Buble Crazy Love Tour 2011

Rags to Regis

Second booking of the year - St. Regis.

Like finallllyyyyyyy.

Nothing much to say about the sex though. At times I thought, perhaps it would have been better if I had hold out a lttle longer, till a more ideal client comes along with a Regis booking. Now when I think back of the place, I'm just reminded of a very 'bleuurrggghhh' experience. But at least, I've got the Regis checked off my 'To-Do' List.

The room wasn't as grand as I imagined it would be. Needless to say, I was dressed to the nines for this booking but being in Singapore and with its people who have no sense of occasion nor dressing, I still found myself caught in the elevator with a bunch of local guys clad in t-shirt, bermudas and slippers. SLIPPERSSSS, mind you!!! Is there a beach party I didn't know about? Pfftttt. And there I was in my 5-inch 'fuck-me' heels.




We had some wine and I gave it another chance. This time it tasted nicer. Its called - Chateau Rocs De Marchand, Montagne St Emilion. Can anyone tell me if its suppose to be good? Cos I know naughts about wine. Enjoyed it though...

The client was far from perfect. So in these kind of situation, I will have to call in my backup (in my head... like in a game show). For the pass few not so enjoyable 'dates', I've been 'using' the image/ visual/ idea of this bloke and it has pulled me through a couple of bleuurrggghhh sexperiences.

Divian... Divian... Divian Nair... I think its his sexy deep voice, or is it his boyish innocence. I used to listen to him (oh he's a radio jock in Singapore - 98.7fm btw) every morning when he partnered with Vanessa Fernandez. But after Van left, the show has kinda lost its wit and zany-ness, so I just sleep in till noon.

So yeah, that's my confession, and probably a sex-tip for you too.

For me, if the client is not 'performing', boring, or just plain gross, I will summon my Divian Nair and do a mental substituition. Yummmyyy...

xoxo.

p.s: Got my period today. Phew. Which means, I will be taking a break/ breather this week. Hopfully the coast clears up soon enough before my next booking at the Fullerton. *Double Yummmyyyy*
READ MORE » Rags to Regis

Hey Big Spender!

What a way to kick off 2011! My first booking for the year was with a 36 year old American lawyer, let's call him Tony (as is Tony in Drop Dead Diva, Jane's boyfriend).

(Can't actually blog in full today cos I've gotta prepare for my booking this afternoon. Let's make this a quickie)...

The experience was... Wow!!!

For the first time, it felt like a real date and we really looked like a couple (cos we're both big and chubby, kinda felt like Tony and Jane, hahah)



Tony made reservations for dinner at CUT, a steakhouse at Marina Bay Sands... OMG, have you seen that place? I would never have imagined I would ever, EVER step into a place like that in my entire lifetime. It is my first snazzy restaurant, where I ordered my first snazzy cocktail, which infact I had no idea what I ordered, simply picked the first thing on the menu. Plus, I kinda liked the name - The Duke of Earl.

To me surprise, it was delicious. I have always imagined cocktail to taste, maybe, very alcoholic, and as I was ready to hold my breath and swallow my poison, the drink froliked on my tongue and glided down my throat like sweet serenade. Nice. Great first expereince with cocktail (unlike wine). Thumbs up! Can try again. Ouh ouh!!

Tony and I warmed up very well, as expected. At the dinner table, I was at a total lost of what to order. So I told Tony the truth, that I know naughts about whats on the menu and after getting some recommendations from the waiter (I dunno if thats what you call 'em, they're not like the usual guys who waits on tables, they talk alot more), I ordered the Filet Mignon.


Looked something like this... but nicer
 One of the reasons also why I was afraid to order cos I was totally blown away by the price tagged on these dishes. My Filet Mignon alone was $120!!! That is like my meal allowance for a whole month, equivalent to 24 plates of premium-price Nasi Lemak!!!

But it was the most heavenly thing my tongue has ever tasted. *drooooolll* The taste still lingers on my mind...

{ Sneaked to snap a pic of the table setting when Tony went to the Gents }

Donuts and gelato sent from the heavens above.... Divine!!!

To cut the story short, when we got back to his hotel, Tony wasn't looking for full-on penetration kind of sex... just close enough to tease, he said. Okayyyyy....

Now the best thing about sex with a big guy is that I don't have to worry about crushing his bones. At the rate of how I was humping on top of him, the regular guy would have broken joints in 12 different places. But with Tony, it was like I was on the floating castle. So funn!!!!

After much foreplay and by the time I hopped on top of him, Tony was already rock hard and stiff like a standing ovation. I, of course was juicing wet from the excitement. So I rubbed my body against his, back and forth, and positioned my pelvic region, exactly where the tip of his schlong is pressed along from the tip of my clit to my wet pussy, but not penetrating. Now imagine that, and then imagine gliding back and forth like that slowly at first, then faster and faster.

That was the first time I've ever tried doing that and I never thought it could feel so good!!! It was suchhhhhhhh a tease that I got even wetter and he could feel my wetness, which drove him wildly crazy. I loved the expresion on his face I got so much satisfaction from the pleasure of my man.


Having sex in the dark, with the window curtains fully drawned, revealing Singapore's scenic night setting with the Singapore flyer and MBS towers lending its light, glowing off the silhoutte of my body to let Tony find his way around.

It was a beautiful, super-sexy-hot evening and I'm guessing, I'll be Tony's first stop when he comes back again to our sunny shores.

xoxo.

p.s: Hmmm... so where next? Ku De Ta?... bring it on babyyyyyy
READ MORE » Hey Big Spender!

French-Kissin', Dubai Dreamin'

Did I somehow forget to mention that before I went for the premiere screening of 'The Tourist', I had a nice date with a French gentleman? Which was sweet cos after that at the movies, the setting started off in France too so I got to reminisce about my lovely Monday rendezvous ;)

Pierre is an avid punter. A naughty (not-so) little 45 year old boy.

It was our first date and the booking process was smooth, obviously cos he's experienced thus asks only the neccessary questions. He contacted me 2 days in advance and on Monday afternoon, we met (because nobody really work on a Monday. hah).

And, no. If the thought even crossed your mind - I did not fall in love with this one, okay! (Currently heart is still on 'G')

Pierre can be described as an 'ideal' client. He's not my 'type' (so I probably wont feel emotionally attached), his size is not too big/small, very enjoyable to be with, and has lots of knowledge and information to share. Perfect!

He has a vast experience with escorts (travels alot so...), from low-level Geylang to VIP escorts so I asked him to share his encounters and his opinion about the different 'castes' of escorts. This kind of classified information is very useful and valuable to me as it not only helps me evaluate my positioning, it gives me a fresh perspective of the industry and at the same time I get a clearer idea of what's happening out there.

[If you're wondering why I 'sound' funny today is cos I'm actually really sleepy *its 3am*. I will probably revisit this post to refine my language]

Most probably I will be meeting him again today (Wednesday) or tomorrow, as he just dropped me a message just now... (and that's why I have to blog this now). From the looks of it, he's another one who is definitely hooked on me and worships my body. Tell-tale sign is when they want to meet again so soon after the first date. (phew... what a saviour cos I'm almost broke)

Pierre was so excited about 'finding' me on the escort portal. He couldn't stop going on and on about how my waist to hip ratio is every man's fantasy (meh?!) while the entire time couldn't take his hands off my butt (which I thought was so cute. You know, I've always hated my butt cos ever since I hit puberty at 10, my mom has always made fun of it saying its so big :P... hence the negative body image that resulted in low self-esteem).

Not only that, he was strongly recommending that I try Paris (where he's from) as I will definitely be able to get lots of bookings because my body shape is exquisite and not like the other normal slender escorts. All this while I gawk in 'huh?!' as he talks about renting an apartment and how I must remember to do it discreetly. Is he still talking about me? I'm just a small-fry, humble lil Singapore girl, enjoying her 'misadventures' and he's encouraging me to take on PARIS???

Pierre also said that I'm not really a BBW. Maybe in Asian context I'm on the larger side, but in the European 'serving' I would be perfect (his words, not mine. I'm still convinced that I'm fat). 'Pulpy'. He described me as 'pulpy' (definition. (n.) soft; fleshy; succulent) *lol* in his testimonial that got me grinning from ear to ear.

Once the testimonial goes 'live' on my profile, I'm sure it will work wonders for my reputation and help me land more 'dates'. Infact, from Pierre's encouraging response, for 2011, I'm kinda considering the possibility of venturing and extending my 'services' to, you guessed it - Dubai, The Golden Souk of Dreams...




I'm still doing my research on the escort scene in Dubai. 'Ideally', the plan is to go during the Chinese New Year period (early Feb. Cos public holidays here will always be the 'dry spell' season) and maybe come back after Valentines'. Now this will need meticulous planning - safety, laws and regulations there, accomodation, flight etc. but if I really wanna go for it, I have to start now.

If anyone has any tips or pointers that I should take note about escorting in Dubai, I would really appreciate it if you would drop me a message at xoxo.chuckles@gmail.com especially about the following issues:

- Laws and regulations (concerning escorts).
What's the enforcement pratice like in Dubai?
- Type of 'clients' to take note.
Should I stick to the expats or are Dubai men 'okay'?
- Location. Where is the best recommended place to stay?
Is it ok if I stay in a hotel in the City Centre/ Bur Dubai, or would customers think it is too central and they might be 'seen'?

If you're staying in Dubai or has any advice on this, pleaseeeee share. Merci... Shukran... :)

xoxo
READ MORE » French-Kissin', Dubai Dreamin'

Exclusive Peek

... to the wildside? Haha.

It is almost a year now since I've crossed over to the 'dark side' and I've recently upgraded myself to a higher, more elite clietele base, which implies aggressive linkage to escort portals.

One very helpful website which I'm signed to has forums and message boards for escorts to interact and communicate. Most importantly, to send out alerts for scammers and time-wasters so that others can beware. Such spirit of sisterhood! I'm definitely pleased to have found this website.



See the message highlighted in the red dotted box about a Prank Caller Alert. These messages are real eye-openers and they remind me not to be naive. If it is too good to be true, it probably is.

Anw, I no longer 'advertise' at the site which I usually post as the client based do not match my new pricing requests. But after signing up with these high-end portals, I'm already fully booked for the week.

Seems like there are more rich people than poor folks afterall. Hah.

xoxo
READ MORE » Exclusive Peek

Ouch! Bad Review

Not mine though... was browsing through the ads of some Singapore escorts and saw a bad review written about her. Erkss... definitely not good for the reputation. (Note to self: Must never happen)

READ MORE » Ouch! Bad Review

If it's cheap, it can't be good. If it's good, it can't be cheap


As soon as he let me in, I saw my stash of cash sitting under his car keys. Hmmm, Mercedes. Not bad, I thought. He went back to his chair to sit where he was probably reading while waiting for me to arrive.

This client was a high-profiler and had repeatedly emphasized on discretion. He had booked the 5-star hotel room for the day although he only booked me for a few hours. I sat on the edge of the bed, near his chair to start the ball rolling.

Now this is why I love my job. This client was not only a high-level professional but very intelligent too. Our in-depth conversations was definitely the highlight of the date. I'll not go into the x-rated details cos it only lasted 5 minutes but from our talk, it was as it I had received divine enlightenment.

Randy, the client, was a regular punter, meaning he's a regular player in this field and a big spender. He was actually looking for a sugar baby, to replace his earlier sugar baby who had returned to the States. So he was sharing with me about his misadventures with the girls he 'interviewed' for the 'position' and I had the time of my life laughing and listening to the almost-comedic twists in his dire search.

It was very interesting to finally know what the other naughty girls have been up to and their ridiculous requests, only after meeting a guy for 15 minutes; things like a supplementary credit card, and questions like 'will you leave your wife for me?'. *lol*

Btw, Randy is well married. And he admits that he loves his wife with all his heart and would never hurt her but... ah, there's a but.

He says, "... but a man has needs".

"My wife doesn't know how to take care of me. She loves me very much, but you know how there is a difference between loving someone and taking care of his needs."

"My wife... she's born with a silver spoon in her mouth. But she's become a tai-tai who has become lost in her own world. She has so much potential, you know," he continued.

I still remember those words very vividly when he said them as I laid in his arms after sex which he described as 'its been a long time'.

I asked him why he doesn't engage the girls from agencies since he can very well afford it. He said, he wasn't looking for a professional. Like me. As in, not doing escorting as a full-time profession. He was looking for someone whom he could feel a connection with, not just someone to shag. I then asked him about the girls from the escort agencies, how they look like - are they like super gorgeous goddesses, and why they're so god-damn pricey?

Here's the part that became the ultimate revelation for me.

According to Randy, it is all a hype, if not a scam. And most of the thousand dollar-tagged escorts are supposedly models or some sort of 'celebrity'. He said he refused to get girls from escort agencies because he didn't like it that the agency takes a big slice of the pie when all they do is sit on their asses and it is the girls who are putting themselves on the line of fire. He'd rather pay for an independent, knowing that she gets all that she'd paid for.

We even started a debate on the pros and cons of being with an agency. I was for it and he was against. I said it was better to be with an agency cos they can ensure your safety. Like for example, the agency handle the bookings and would then know where the girls will be, incase anything happens. Then Randy rebuts and asks me back, sure but when the client takes you to another room, other than the one that he had earlier informed the agency, how would the agency know? And if anything happens behind closed doors, how would the agency know or even get to the card-accessed elevators in time?

That thought stumped me. Why didn't I ever think of that?

So from that valuable insight, I conclude that to be a 'premium, sought after' escort, you do not neccesarily need to have 'special skills' or look like a star-dusted goddess. I would say that it all boils down to personal branding, identifying your USP (unique selling point) and creating that perceived value around your image. Some say - 'If it's cheap, it can't be good. If it's good, it can't be cheap'. It is only the Singaporeans who hunts for the cheap and good. They can go to Geylang then and pick up some durians along the way. I'm definitely not targeting at Singaporeans anw.

Decide whether you want to be a mass-market or niched. I'ld pick the later. When you're niched, you might not appeal to everyone but you will definitely stand out and have a more lasting impression on their memories. I will later share this article I read when I was researching about thoughts on the fleshier girls.

Also identify your target market and shape your image and mannerisms to suit that market. Knowing your target market is very important coz then you would know how to plan your pricing strategy to tie it with your brand positioning.

See. Who said being an independent female escort is easy? Sure it is easy if you want to just sit on your ass and spread your legs and wait for Tom's hairy dick to be shoved into your ragged pussy. It's alot of stiff competition out there with all the PRCs, and Pinoys etc. A classy, high-end escort has not only a refined taste, selective and offers more than just physical satisfaction but can soothe and be the most appreciated companionship a man can ever need, even if its for an hour... or five.

xoxo
READ MORE » If it's cheap, it can't be good. If it's good, it can't be cheap

Today's show is brought to you by the letter 'K'

K - for Kovana, where one ass of a guy lives. I have the exact address to his doorstep but I'll let him wire the money to my account, and spare him the free 'O$P$' publicity.

I don't understand why some people like to make things difficult for themselves. The procedure is so simple that even a whore who didn't pass PSLE can understand.

Most Ideal Scenario
Step 1: Client gets in touch with escort, via email. Set date and time to meet.

Step 2: Both consenting adults meet at the earlier agreed time and place. Client pays upfront. And the deal proceeds as planned. When time is up, both go separate ways, as if nothing ever happens.

Unfavourable Scenario
Step 1: Client gets in touch with escort, via email. Set date and time to meet.

Step 2: Both consenting adults meet at the earlier agreed time and place. Client doesn't like what he sees (because apparently he don't understand what the escort's vital stats mean, even when he asked for it), calls off the date.

Step 3: Client must compensate for escort's trouble to make her way down as promised. Compensation is for time and cab fare. Client hands over compensation fee and escort girl makes herself scarce. No fuss. No drama. You wasted her time - you compensate. Period. What's so difficult about that?

What happened to me today was the 'Worst Case Scenario'.

Worst Case Scenario
Step 1: Client gets in touch with escort, via email. Set date and time to meet.

Step 2: Both consenting adults meet at the earlier agreed time and place. Client doesn't like what he sees (because apparently he don't understand what the escort's vital stats mean, even when he asked for it).

Step 3: Client drops escort off at a Fragrance hotel (he drives) and ask her to book the room first while he goes to park his car. Escort tries to book a room but found out that they need 2 I/D cards to register. So escort calls client to explain scenario. Client says to wait till he comes.

Step 4: So the ecsort waits outside for him and suddenly receives an sms from the client.
'Sorry I can't do this with you... So sorry'.
As no monetary compensation was given, escort got soooo pissed. If not for the fact that the escort was already having a lousy day, she would have been the forgiving, soft-hearted sweetie that would just let the matter slip and accept it as her lousy luck.

But because #1 - escort had a bad start to her day #2- Client was a fuck-face. #3. Client bailed out, escort decided she had to embrace her latest admiration for Shanghainese women and DEMAND for her compensation.

You see, I am not an unreasonable person. I don't expect every man/ client to like me. Of course there are a handful who just can't get enough and worships my body for what it is, but it is a matter of preferance and personal taste. Most importantly it is how you handle the situation - gracefully, reasonably and in an cool, collected manner.

But you want to play rough? Want to step all over my head and think I'll lay low? Did you think you can be a pushover and I won't dare to do anything? Not only do I take it that you're insulting me and my profession, you're insulting me as a woman. Did you forget that I have your FULL address and car plate no.? Did you forget that I also know where you work? (((((*Biggg evil hearty laugh*)))))

Maybe with the discount-priced streetwalkers you can try and be funny (or maybe they're worse. Its a jungle out there. Survival of the fittest). Or maybe if you were an adorably cute blondie with blue eyes (like Nate, whom I just met again yesterday), I might still consider giving you face.

But because you were fucking ugly, I don't think you deserve to be a push-over. I would rather fuck a troll than let you touch me. In fact when you text me to say your stupid sorry, I was thinking of an excuse like 'Sorry I gotta go. Saw someone I knew' to bail out on you. *LOL*

But I still want my compensation (cos you didnt know I was gonna bail on you. hah) and so Mr. K for Kovana is expected to wire me the money by tomorrow, or else. He kinda put up a fight (all these via sms) and refused to compensate me but I politely reminded him that I know where he lives.

Ladies/ Fellow Bambinas/ Escort-friends: Take note! Don't give them face or these local breed of assholes will take advantage. Be brave. Your time is as precious as anybody elses.

An important lesson to men who intend to solicit with an escort: If you don't intend to be a gentleman or if you don't have that kind of money, don't bring the escort back to your apartment or give her your address, stupid.

*Pats myself on the back* I love it when my claws comes out. I feel like Wolverine.

xoxo

Officially...
1) Hates the letter 'K'. Previous bad experience was also with another 'Dr. K'
2) Hates local men. Very un-gentlemanly character.
3) Hates Audi R8. Especially the one in orange. If you happen to pass by Kovana and see an orange Audi R8, kindly scratch it for me. Thanks.
How did I know it was an R8? Because I happen to be an avid sports car fan, silly!
READ MORE » Today's show is brought to you by the letter 'K'

8 Top Tricks for His Hottest Oral Sex Ever!

Try these hot moves the next time you're giving him south-of-the-border oral action. Here, eight tips guaranteed to give him the most incredibly sensational oral sex yet!


1. Have a quickie someplace unexpected.
Getting oral sex in the unlikeliest of places is just about every man's fantasy. Up the thrill factor by going down on him when he least expects it, like somewhere semi-public. The excitement of being caught in the act, plus your sudden advances, is sure to blow him away. Absolutely hot venues to try are: In the restroom at a party, in the car stationed in a public parking lot, under his desk while he's making phone calls, at the balcony where his bottom half is concealed.


Read more >>
READ MORE » 8 Top Tricks for His Hottest Oral Sex Ever!

Money, Money, Money

I can be a real snob if I want, whenever I want to.

Especially when it comes to screening potential clients. After a while, I've developed this talent for rounding up a guy just from the way he sms-es. From the way he choose his words, I can decide whether he's even worth texting.

I guess I've made this clear since Day 1 that I'm not doing this for the money. Simply recreational (but later decided that it pays t0o, so why not). That's why I can afford to be all snooty about it, pick and choose the lucky men who gets to shower their moolahs on me.

[Oh oh... phone call. It's the girl from the escort agency. t.b.c...]

Will tell you about that phonecall later.

As I was saying... Yes, ever heard about 'Pricing Strategy'? It's a marketing term and it is the reason why I've capped my charges to $150/hr. The cheapest girl on a social escort site that I've seen is $200, even that she'll have to split with agency for commission, while a street-hooker along Geylang is easily $40 a pop.

My personal ads would also clearly state one thing: Expats only.

Definition of expat: ex·pa·tri·ate (ěk-spā'trē-āt') - someone who lives temporarily or permanently in a country/cultural group other than the one he originally comes from.

MY definition of expat: rich angmoh (who's overpaid with an obscene amount of money that he doesnt know what to do with it)

At times, I do bend the rules a little. You gotta be either rich or angmoh. But still $150/hr.

I've fixed myself to that amount because it is targetted at men who can truly afford it. Not for men who have to scrimp and save to afford it. Locals will never pay that kind of price cos if they are that horny, they would know better where to get the cheap ones. So far I've only done one local guy; a newbie, so let that be an experience for him.

For me, it's either you can afford it or you don't. Some cheapskate ones would even try to bargain and haggle the price, making me feel like some fish at the pasar... It is a major turn-off. Usually when that happens, I'll just cut them loose and move on to the next one.

If you can truly afford it, you won't feel the pinch when you have to part with your money. Tonight's case scenario was totally the opposite. Another one of my misadventures that'll go deep in my escorting journal.

My client turned out to be a bleak, twiggy, mini-sized 26 y.o Indonesian fella. I dun have any problems with Indonesians. Really. I love Indonesians. The ones with thick wallets.

Firstly, my boy was late and he made me wait under his block for about half-an-hour. I waited till my mousse-up hair went flat. Apparently he is on his way home from work.

Secondly, he told me to take the lift up to the 12th floor, just to see him suspiciously hiding at the staircase. When I found him, he whispered that his flatmate hasn't left the house and that we would have to wait a while more. What made me flare up was when he suggested that I give him a blowjob on the staircase first while waiting for his flatemate to leave the house. What am I? 16? Make out at the staircase, you've got to be kiddin me!!!

When he saw that I was upset, he took out his wallet and showed the $150 that he has for me. That almost blurred my judgement for a while, until he said he'd give me a $20 deposit for a blowjob and pay the rest once the hour is done. WTF!!!!????

I was so furious that I just stormed away. We had already discussed this via sms that I need my payment upfront before we proceed. And to think that he's being very difficult with parting with his money, just shows that he actually can't afford it and the risk of him not paying in full at the end of the service was evident. So this time, I decided to listen to my guts and leave.

As I waited for the lift, he still had the cheek to say - "Pls dun leave, I really want to touch your breasts."

The lift door opened and before I stepped in I said to him," U dun want to pay yet you still want to touch?" I gave him one last glare and left.

I was cursing and swearing at the boy for wasting my time. But I wasn't like really fuming mad, but somehow felt a lil sad for him. He's probably working as a waiter, somewhere, yet still want to spend that hard-earned money on prostitutes? I thought I'm the only one with the whacked sense of judgement.

After tonight's episode, I am nothing but more focused on getting my desired target audience. Expats - rich angmohs. And I shan't settle for any less. One thing I've learnt from experience is that the ang-moh are definitely more gentlemen and they never, never haggle. Plus, they have all that money and that's where I've got my eyes on. I don't want the local's (MY definition of local: working class Singaporean/ Malaysian/ Indonesian) money. Their money is hard-earned and shouldn't be spent like that. Sorry locals, your money is not valid with me.

Another community service brought to you by the Ministry of Sex (and) Affairs.

xoxo.

p/s: Meeting the girl from the agency tomorrow at 2pm. Spoke to her over the phone and not surprisingly she sounds very lian, and speaks fluent singlish. If the discussion goes well tomorrow, I might. Just might... sign up as a freelance escort with her agency.
READ MORE » Money, Money, Money

Oral Sex Manual: Giving Oral Pleasure to Your Man

All men love oral sex. (And that's love with a capital "L".) So check out this step-by-step manual to giving your guy oral pleasure that both you and him enjoy. Trust us, once you've mastered the art of giving your guy mind-blowing oral sex, he'll literally be at your mercy.

Read more >>
READ MORE » Oral Sex Manual: Giving Oral Pleasure to Your Man

His 5 Secret Sexual Hot Spots

Ask a man which body part is his sexual hot spot, and you know what his answer will be. But instead of reaching for your guy's obvious man-bits right away, heat things up by stimulating his hidden hot spots. "These magic erotic places are extremely sensitive to touch, oral and manual," says Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Sex Bible. And the fact that they're totally unexpected places makes things all the more exciting. Check out our guide to his five secret pleasure zones and try these moves that'll send him into orgasmic overdrive!

Read more >>
READ MORE » His 5 Secret Sexual Hot Spots

Research pt. 1

Entertaining the idea of setting up my own escort website. Doing some research at 3 in the morning, when actually my eyes are screaming for me to go to sleep. Anw, here are some 'references' I've found:

http://www.nicoletoronto.com/ (ok- ok)

http://plussizebarbie.com/ (a bit ermm, cheesy?)

http://montrealbbwindependentescort.com/ (wow! she's really got it together. inspiring!!!)

http://natachabbw.blogspot.com/

http://sofia-international.com/

http://letmepleaseyou.moonfruit.com/

Suddenly I dont feel so alone :)

xoxo.
READ MORE » Research pt. 1

S.O.S - I've been conned!

Escort Lesson #1:
Always hv a back-up exit plan.

I'm learning it the hard way. I am gurgling my throats out with iced lemon tea right nw after tt man kissed me!
I knew it. I should hv listened to my instincts. I should hv ran for my life when the girl at the recept told me tt e guest at rm 608 is not ang-moh, as I had told her.
The door opened sesame the moment I pressed e doorbell. I was horrified when I saw his face and beneath e layers of make-up I swear I went pale.

John is an 'oompa loompa'.

I stepped in anw n John asked me if I wanted to wash up first. I jumped at e chance to compose myself n hoped into e bathroom.
In e grey tiled claustrophobia, I was pulling my hair out, thinking hard to cough up an excuse to leave or should I say, escape.

Then I took a deep breath n slid open e bathrm door.
'John, I think we hv a problem. I dont think I can do this.
'I'm having my period'.
John's face dropped as he gasped in sincere disappointment.
'But I really like you. What bad luck,' he sighed.
Well at least he didnt flare up into a temper or demanded to check my panty stain or something.
'Yeah, I'm really sorry (not). I was really looking fwd to this (cos I didnt think it would be you). This is so unexpected (yeah. very!)
'Can I hv a hug at least?' and he came close and threw his arms ard me. I was not surprised when he pecked my cheeks. I obliged, almost feeling sorry for e man. Then he planted his lips on mine, and I felt like I had died a terrible death.
I quickly pushed him away and made my way out, feeling repulsed.
'Wait, I'll send u to e lift. U need e room card-key to go down'. I stopped in my tracks and smiled politely,
At e lift, John handed me a tenner. 'For your cab fare. Thanks for coming.'
'The emails... John Mills... Its not ur real name?' I probed.
'Yeah, its not my real name. I hv to b very discreet. My name is ****. I'm a doctor'.
OMFG.
I simply nodded to conceal my horror. 'I understand (but no less repulsed)'.
I was glad he didnt try anything while we were in e lift. The journey down from e 6th floor seemed to last forever.
When e lift door cracked open, I made a 100 metre dash that my P.E teachers would hv been so proud of. But not before gracefully saying goodbye.
I was half-running as I searched for a hide-out. I needed to get out of these fuck-me pumps. Pronto!
So here I am. Beating myself up with Clorets n iced lemon tea. Is there bleach somewhere? If I had let tt man touch me out of my will n purely for e money, then THATS prostitution. Whats worse is I had earlier obliged to a discounted rate. It wouldnt be enough to pay the fee for the shrink. Not to mention I would b traumatised for life.
Lessons to learn:
#1:
Have an exit plan. U never know what's going to happen.
#2: Listen to ur gut feelings/ instinct (or they will stop talking to u).
#3: Never let the clients dictate the price. Haggling is simply unacceptable (what is this? the fish market?). If they cant afford my rates, there are others who can. I've learnt tt there is no way I can stand their faces n let them touch me, at a discounted rate. No elderly or student consession here, hun.
No money, no honey.
this time, i'm lucky... xoxo
{Sent via my Sony Ericsson Jalou}
READ MORE » S.O.S - I've been conned!

How To Sell Yourself Online (literally)

Today I posted my third personal classified ad. Instead of posting it on two different websites, this time round I only placed it on one.

The response so far, I gotta say, by the time I activated my new SIM card and planted it in yada yada... and finally switched on the phone, the text messages that flooded my inbox forced me to get a separate 'work' phone. I bought it at 7-11. Still can't digest that.

So yeah, now I've got 2 phones! *bravo*

Not that I think I'm soooo good at this, but I gotta be doin something right, right? Either that or there are really too many desperate guys out there. So I thought I'ld share my experience of posting a personal classifieds online and how I do it...

HOW TO SELL YOURSELF ONLINE (literally):
There are two very important elements when it comes to posting a personal classifieds. Not specifically for escorting only but it also applies for dating sites or social networks.

1) Words
2) Visual

Sculpt your bio/ profile/ personal description using descriptive words that can set the imagination dancing. Inject humour, use idioms or lyrics to flaunt your colourful personality in words. Don't pressure yourself to get it perfect the first time round. Simply scribble down any key words you'd wanna highlight about yourself and later piece it together.
If your mind is blank and you dont know where to start, perhaps you could read others' post/ ads and study how they 'market' themselves. Pick out their interesting choice of words and adapt it to your content. But under any circumstances, DO NOT ever copy others' words wholesale and claim it as yours cos then I'm gonna give you a bitch-slap.
It will show that not only are you stupid, you're also too lazy to think and use your brains, and also it shows that you have no respect for others (come on, already you're a whore. at least be a smart one)

I remembered last week when I went back to check on my ad post on the website and to see who else had posted what... I was so fucking mad when I saw a couple of posts using the very words that came from my fingers. Some fucking whores copied my ad to the extent of signing off the 'xoxo'. So for some strange reason, it felt like 'Gossip Girl' was theme of the week.

Since then, I've stopped 'xoxo'-ing.

Remember. You're not a refrigerator. You're hot flesh!!! So dont present hard statistics like you're writing a Product Manual. Weave the information into your sentences.

Keep it real. You can be in character and act up a lil pesona but remember to be yourself. Your readers should want to pay for a piece of you, not something that you eventually can't live up to. What you promise, you have to deliver, else you will lose credibility.

Below is a screen shot of my latest post. Its not exactly mind-blowing but what the hell, more than a dozen men fell for it...

-----------------------------------------------------------

I'm your Belle du Jour (obviously inspired by my latest telly obsession)

Are you looking for a sensual experience? Need a real lady to be your companion through those lonely evenings? (I emphasized 'real' here becos the previous ad posts were a number of she-males and lady boys) Well, you've found me - so lick your lips & text me, and I'll be in touch (puns intended *winks*).

I'm a full-figured woman, with curves and hot flesh that will melt your heart. I hope my 40C will make you happy. Am 5'5 tall. I'm not for all men. Only true gentlemen.

Love, (Queen B)

-----------------------------------------------------------


At the end of the day, it is up to you how you want to 'market' yourself. For me, I consider myself very 'target-market' oriented. Its not about the money. It never was. Its about the company. Its not the number of people you get to fuck. It's WHO you fuck.

I specified my preference for expats very clearly in my ad. Actually what I really mean is 'ang-moh' but I didnt want to stream-line it too much. I would also want to appeal to the more intellectual crowd, the ones who actually understand the word-play and would appreciate my wit so that we can converse on the same level.

Look out for Part Two of my 'self-promo' 411: How To Sell Yourself Online (visually) coming up next.

xoxo.
READ MORE » How To Sell Yourself Online (literally)

I Survived 63 Market Street!

... and Marcus is even cuter than Hugh Grant!
My first ang-moh !!!!. *gives myself a pat on the back. Well done B!*
READ MORE » I Survived 63 Market Street!

Second Post

13.Feb.10

Here comes the most dreaded time of the year for me... the longgggg Chinese New Year holidays. Every year, I always end up not knowing what to do with myself given so many days of leisure. Shops everywhere will be closed so I'm usually left dead bored and having to hook up with some guy, just to pass time.

Last year I hooked up with Shawn, whom I met online on mIRC. He's been in London for a few years to study and was back in S'pore for the new year.

I was cracking my head, trying to think of a new plan to escape the boredom when I got the idea to post my SECOND post.

Here's how it sounded like:

XXXtra Curvy* Fleshy * Busty



Hello gentlemen, let me warm your lonely nights. All I want is to give you pleasure... I'm 25 y.o, 100%-woman with curves to prove it. I'm not your typical bimbo so I also love intelligent men who can mentally arouse. Drop me an sms now and share with me your wildest desires... I'll be waiting... xoxo

**EXPATS only pls!**

**Phone calls WILL NOT be entertained. So pls dun even bother calling. Drop me an sms and we'll proceed from there. Thanks!**
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Hehehe... Let's see what kind of response I get from this... *Gong Xi Fa Caiiiii*

http://hushushbaby.blogspot.com/2010/02/second-post.html
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