Showing posts with label inspired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspired. Show all posts

F.I.L.F - Chivalry is Not Dead


On a regular day, I would actually be bitter seeing these two teenagers 'loving-doving' infront of me. But today is an especially lovely day for me.

As you can see, I am blogging in the comforts of the plush seats at Old Town White Coffee @Far East Plaza right now, while having *duhh* - coffee. My tummy's cramping pretty bad; having my first day of period, but I'm all grinssss.

A lottttttttt of things have happened and it will take at least 10 posts before I get it all down on blog. But let's start with TODAY.

I met up with, let's call him 'G', at Starbucks at 10.30am this morning for breakfast. G asked me out to go shopping... for lingerie. To begin with... how awesome is THAT??!!!!!!!! Lingerie shopping is the ultimate best (second being bags and shoes, third - dresses). So after that I brought him to the place where I usually buy my naughty intimate wear.

RONDAVOUS - THE hang out place for all naughty lingerie. At first I asked him to choose for me, but being him, he said, "No, you choose. It's for you". Awww, how sweet right?

So I picked out a few to try them on, and with each different piece, I called him into the changing room to see. NOW, I would surely know why men should NEVER be allowed into the changing rooms. For a while there I went 'ouh, ouh', when I saw his gleaming eyes light up. He inched closer and we started kissing... slowly nibbling my lips and then held me tighter, flicking my nipples. He got soooo turned on by the 'barely there' lingerie that we almost end up making out in the changing room.

That happened 3 more times with the other pieces I tried on, but in term of intensity, the first piece definitely bagged the trophy. I didn't look at the price tags cos I didnt want to be choosing based on price/ most expensive so I merely picked based on preference, which eventually did turn out to be the most expensive :P How I know?... hmmm...

After shopping, we went back to his place, where I'm having the best sex ever for the second time in the week with G. I told you I was addictive.

My first date with G was last Friday. The entire process was the easiest and fastest I've ever done. More convenient than online shopping - he dropped me an email with all the info I need, *POOF* I show up at his door the next morning and he claims to not being able to stop thinking about me ever since.

And G is farrrrrrrrrr from ogre-ly. Just now when I went back to the same shop (2nd time today) to get YET another pair of stockings, the Pinoy shop assistant who already knows me by name, was saying... "Wah ma'am, your husband is so handsome!"

Husband??? I WISHHH!!!!!

Not wanting to look like a skank, I told her that he was my fiance' (at least it sounds better than 'boyfriend'). Then I asked her how much the earlier purchase added up to and I was flabbergasted by the amount.

$400?????!!!!!

It might not mean alot to some people but if I had known that 'barely there' flimsy piece was THAT expensive, I definitely would have chosen something else. I could have gotten 3 uber-gorgeous lacey corsets instead to last me till X'mas 2020!

Anw, back to the part where we were making love on his bed.... Ahhh... if the Cinderella story is 'If the Shoe Fits', mine would be, 'If the Dick Fits' cos he fills me up to the purrrrfect D, and you'd know how goooood it feels if the 'fit' is right.


The sex was also mind-blowing cos there is always alot of laughter inbetween, and he'd open up alot and share things about his life, which I totally appreciate and infact feel even more comfortable cos I know that he has nothing to hide.



Only at the second meeting today did I learn that G is a single parent and he has two adorable daughters that he adores dearly. I didn't actually want to ask about his personal life, cos those kind of questions are strictly out of bounds. But he was the one who opened up and told me and hey, he reminded me of the term m.i.l.f which on him would be 'Fathers.I.Love.to.Fuck' (F.I.L.F).

Of all times in the world, I got my period while he was fingering me cos I caught a glimpse of his bloody fingers and broke into a panic. I sulked when I thought my fun-time was over, but he said he wasn't squemish and that he didn't mind, so.... woohooo, the fun and play continues! ( I know, I would think its kinda gross too but hey, if my baby doesn't mind, then nothings stopping us)

In the beginning, I thought today's 'session' was to return the favour of him buying me lingerie, which I didn't mind cos he is just so adorable. So again, I was surprised when he handed me the stash for the time we spent together, on top of all the lingerie shopping.

Recap of my day:
Breakfast at SB with G - Lingerie shopping (Far East Plaza) - G's Apartment - Home - Far East Plaza (Old Town White Coffee).

Back at home, as I was getting ready to head out again, I thought alot about G. Actually I have been since our first meeting. I don't think I'm being naive but I am able to sniff out 'sincerity' from miles away.

I find myself feeling rather intensely for G. I respect him for his kindness, his commitment to be the best father for his daughters, and for simply needing some tender loving care from a woman. And that's when the downpour started.

I warned myself - "Don't cry... don't cry!!!" and boommm, the floodgates just gushed.

I especially hate it when it gets emotional like this. 'Fuck-and-go's are so much easier, with no emotional baggage lingering after. But since what I usually offer is an experience, I tend to get carried away (like now) when the connection is as fantastic as this.

This is why it leaves me sad - imagine all the things your heart has ever ever yearned and wanted, all wrapped in a nice bundle and it is now staring right in front of you. Fate dangles it right before your eyes and then you hear a voice saying - "You see all that? It can NEVER be yours." And a mirror appears before you and you see yourself in that gorgeous revealing dress, with your fishnet stockings and 5-inch heels. Red lipstick and sexy bed-hair - I'm a whore.

G is one instance, where if this ever gets too deep, beyond escort-client relationship, if he asks me to quit this life and be only his, I will drop everything in a single heartbeat. Everything.

(Oh gosh, what am I saying? I've only met him TWICE!)

I became an escort, not to look for love, but to market 'love', then laugh at it.

When I first started, I was one heartbreak away from bitter and my heart was numb-cold. Strange how it has thawed tremendously. Even after going stray, I thank God every day for blessing me with safety (oh here comes the waterworks again!) and for softening my heart again, and letting me meet all these kind people (could it be that they are angels in disguise?) who has convinced me that chivalry is not dead. I promised God that I will return to His ways again, just give me some time to get my brains sorted out. God is always close to my heart and in that sense I know He hasn't given up on me too. I just pray that I will be able to return safely to His arms, even after straying far, before it is too late... before anyone gets hurt. Amen.

I think after this I shall go look for X'mas gifts for G and his daughters....

xoxo.
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Eduardo, Eduardo, Eduardo

12.30am

Just got back about half an hour ago. Forcing my eyes to sleep cos I've gotta wake up early for work tomorrow but they just wont shut. My head feels like exploding cos there's so many things I wanna blog about but have been too busy. I'm addicted to my blog. Shit.

Ok first things first... Went to watch 'Social Network' just now and throughout the entire movie, I think I forgot to blink and all that came out from my mouth abt every 10 mins was - fuck. It was soooo mind blowing and I forgot how I am so turned on by smart, intelligent men (and boys). Men with vision. Men with ideas. Men who are passionate about their work. Gosh, it's veryyy sexy. Just makes me wanna grab 'em by the tie and fuck 'em on their big messy desk. *erks, but that's gonna fall under a different movie rating*

Then when I got home, yesterday's Sunday Times screamed out to me andddd.... that's another reason why I can't sleep now. I saw the article yesterday, but was too busy to go read it (you'll know the reason soon).

Eduardo Saverin is living in Singapore!!!

Of ALL countries in the world, Eduardo Saverin picked The Humble Little Red Dot. Omg, I'm living on the same island as Eduardo Saverin. We're breathing the same hazy air! *Groupie alertttt*. Just thinking about it makes my heart beat triple-fast... and dizzy... and almost breathless. I think if I ever meet him face-to-face, I will cry. Not cos he's cute, I've seen cuter. But cos he's smartttttttt and it's such a turn on (ok, stop hyper-ventilating already). Did someone say Butter Factory? *grin grin grin*

Remember the French guy I fucked for my birthday, Jacques? See, I really think that sex with someone with an opinion, and who knows his shit, is way more enjoyable. It's the whole mental-arousal thing that makes me cum in excitement, throws me into a fit of brain-orgasms and leaves the deepest impression.

If I ever had to choose between a smart guy with ambition who is not rich but trying his best till his big break  vs. the guy who is a rich brat with loads of money but has the intelligence of a spitoon, I'll definitely go for the smart guy. Cos, money - everyone has money. Money will run out. But if you're smart, you're priceless. The amount of ideas that you can come up with, and it only takes ONE fantabulous idea, which will be your legacy and outlive you. If you only have money, what's the use if you dunno what to do with it. Spend on prostitutes? *oops* Spend it on me, and I'll make sure it'll be a worthwhile investment ;)


Anw, I've just cut that Sunday Times article and pasted it on my door. *swooooon*

Gonna pen my next post now (I'm so gonna regret this in the morning) but will schedule each to be posted over the next few days. Watch this space if you wanna find out whatever happened to Mr. Schuester *looks down, shakes head*. Till then, I'll leave you with the warm smile of Eduardo... wait, come to think about it, he kinda look like that guy I fucked 2 weeks ago. Hmmm...

p/s: Btw, Eduardo Saverin is the co-founder of Facebook.
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The Legendary Anabel Chong

At an internet cafe right now. Suddenly a lot of things buzzing through my mind. Ok first things first:
Was just doing a random google on Anabel Chong. When the saga happened back in the 90s, I was still in primary school, heard about it vaguely but never really read up to know what actually happened until NOW. (Wait, let me minimise my windows before the guy next to me gets a nose bleed)

And NOW... wow, I look up to her like she's the mother of all Singapore porn stars!!!*lol* She's quite hot too, aye? (for someone from the 90s)

Born: Grace Quek
D.O.B: May 22, 1972 (Age 38), Singapore

Alias(es):  Annabella

Height: 5 ft 4 in (1.63 m)

Measurements: 34-25-35

Eye colour: Brown

Hair colour: Black


Ethnicity: Chinese Singaporean

--------------- Here's some bits from Wiki--------------

Grace Quek (simplified Chinese: 郭盈恩; pinyin: Guō Yíng'ēn), better known by her stage name Annabel Chong, is a former pornographic actress now living in the United States. On 19 January 1995, at the age of 22, she became famous by engaging in 251 sex acts with about 70 men over a ten-hour period, setting a world record, with the resulting footage being packaged as The World's Biggest Gang Bang. The film started a trend of 'record-breaking' gangbang pornography, which saw her record subsequently surpassed. She is also the subject of the documentary Sex: The Annabel Chong Story.

Chong was born and raised in Singapore. She was a student at Raffles Girls' School and Hwa Chong Junior  College, where she was enlisted in the country's Gifted Education Programme. Former teachers and classmates describe her as quiet, intelligent and studious. After taking her A levels she took nearly three years off, including a year spent in the US. She then went on to study law at King's College London under a scholarship. While in the UK, she got drunk on a train. There she met a man and agreed to have sex with him in an alleyway. He brought along other men, and she was gang raped and robbed in a rubbish closet under an inner-city housing block. At the age of 21 she dropped out of law school and went on to graduate studies in photography, art, and gender studies at the University of Southern California (USC), where she excelled academically and also began working in pornographic films. Chong went on to graduate work in gender studies at USC.

Late pornography career and retirement
Chong continued to work in the porn industry for a short while after the documentary came out, directing and starring in movies as well as setting up a website. In 2000 she directed and performed in the gang bang movie Pornomancer, her take on William Gibson's novel Neuromancer. After 2000, she largely stopped appearing in mainstream porn videos, concentrating instead on producing content for her website and appearing in a few BDSM videos. In 2003, Chong retired from porn entirely, leaving a final message on her website that "Annabel is dead" and stating that she had become a web developer and consultant. She also stated that she intended to "begin her new life of peace and relative obscurity".

She has largely declined media interviews since leaving the porn industry and has declined to comment on her pornographic career. Quek engaged in limited correspondence for the biographical play 251, and refused to endorse it, telling the producers "Do whatever you want with Annabel Chong because this person doesn't exist anymore." She also stated that she could not understand the continuing fascination and sustained interest in Annabel Chong after many years. As of 2008 she was still working as a web developer in California and has also taken up marathon running.
--------------------------------------

xoxo.

p/s: born May 22? Gemini... tsk tsk tsk... that's already one thing common ;)
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Safety First


I've been pretty busy lately with my final semester projects and have been spending alot of time either at school or finishing assisgnments at home. But I'm happy-busy, not resentful busy. Kinda glad I joined this course as it allows me to be around like-minded friends and even have a tight clique to go to lunch with. It has also reminded me that hey, life is so full of exciting things to do. It is not ALL about work, not ALL about broken-hearts, not ALL about sex, nor is it all about ME. Going back to school has kinda given my head a breather and focus on something else (like my studies).

Any, I have today all to myself (submitted my final project yesterday *pheww*) and I'm blogging from the national library (can u believe it?) cos my lappy is down with virus (getting it fixed). Today has been both relaxing and stressful cos earlier today I had gone to collect my medical examination results.

Did I mention I've been offered a full-time job? :) *yam sengggg to me!!!*

That is why I've had to go for a pre-employment medical check-up last week and phewwwwww - my results are clear!!!*yamm sengggggg again!!!*

I am officially, what they say - clean and disease-free. Hahah.

But I was pretty tense while waiting for the results cos considering what I do, you never know what could come up. So this has also reminded me that I hate this anxious-panic so I must must apply a strict, if not rigid, 'Safety First' motto. Condoms are a must (I totally hate the 'oh shit, what if I'm pregnant' scare) and there'll be no two ways around it. I must remember to take care of myself cos if the damage is done, it'll be irreversible and I will NOT take the risk.

I know that I won't whore forever. Since going back to school, I'm been reminded of my true potentials and I know that there are so much more in this world I would like to do. I believe that I am made for bigger things (not just for a bigger cock). Maybe someday I'll find a solution to stop child prostituition all around the world. Maybe I might travel to third world countries and educate them about contraceptives and STDs. Or I could inspire other BBWs to be sexually confident and be a BBW Sex Guru or something. Pretty ironic, I'ld say, but you never know - nothing is impossible. And impossible is nothing.

xoxo.
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Joyeux anniversaire!

A year older yet non the wiser. Or maybe a little.

Just got home. Interesting night it was. Had to go out and do something for myself. Really didnt feel like sleeping in like previous years and didn't feel like being alone. So I called up a few 'friendly' numbers.

Met up with Nick - aussie guy from CL. So, no, he's not a customer. First time today I stepped into a bar. Alley Bar at Emerald. Not bad aye... I like the ambience. Very cosy. Cute thing about Nick was when I first spoke to him, he said - I have a confession. I'm married.

I laughed my head off and told him not to worry about it. We chatted over a harmless drink, shared travel stories and after an hour, went our separate ways. (I told you I wasn't into Aussies)

As the hours sink deeper into the Saturday night heat, I was hornier by the minute and was restless at being dateless. I unintentionally inconvenienced Snoozer Boy by asking to meet and later cancelling when I discovered a new email perched in my inbox. Luckily the 'number coded' guy left a number I could call.

So from Sydney, Australia, I flew to Brittany, France, where I was destined to meet Jacques. I seriously believe that Jacques was sent to me by the higher powers to knock some sense into my head. The sex was just so-so but what blew me away was the mental orgasm which he ignited in my senses and served as a wake-up call on my birthday, like a rebirth.

The Importance of Being Eager!
I would like to believe that I understand this concept, only that it was damaged barbarically by my previous employer which extinguished all my eager-fire.

Jacques revised the 'eager-concept' with me again by sharing his working experiences in China, which I think made so much sense. I can't remember what he said word-for-word but here's the gist of it:

- to be eager about getting things done
- in Singapore, ppl are very comfortable as everything is given. Singaporeans dont have to 'fight' for something that they want. Thus resulting in the 'Bo chap' lifetitude (lifestyle + attitude).
- In China where there are alot of buzz and development happening because these things (things that we have but take for granted) are not available to them so they've got to create and make it happen.
- The rich people are very eager in getting things done. They know that they need to get off their arse and start moving fast in order to stay rich because if they slack, the poorer ppl wil catch up.
- The poor do not want to be poor all their lives so that work very hard to improve their life.
- The rich understand the need to grow their money. Economy's uncertain. Today you might be rich but soon, the money will run out.
- In Singapore where the environment is very calm, no buzz - people are not eager. Many young Singaporeans work outside the country where their passion and fire are being put to better use. If you want to be somebody, you can't stay in Singapore.
- For example: the 'engine' of a finance company in Singapore are mostly foreigners, while the Singaporean only works as... admin.
- In Europe, in order to have job that pays well, you've got to be able to speak at least 2 to 3 languages - French, German, Spanish, on top of English.
- You've got to do more, to get more.

So the moral of the story is - MOVE YOUR ARSE!!!

What Jacques said sorta woke me up from my currently 'drifting and wandering' life. I guess I have lost that drive, motivation and passion that I once had but I MUST muster it back - for my own sake. 

I know this whoring stint is just my phase of rebellion and someday I will make good out of myself and carve a better future. Just as soon as I snap out of this phase, which better be soon.

Thanks Jacques! Your words and insight couln't have come at a better time.

xoxo


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Today Ira Glass has set me straight...


You know how I've been fuckin depressed the past week about losing my job, and I can't put my finger to it - am I more relieved than depressed that finally I've yanked myself out of that shit hole...? Or is it entirely my fault that they think I'm too vocal with my opinions.

A week had passed and I've yet to be able to tell my folks that i'm out of job. I can't even seem to be able to pacify myself to pull myself together and charge on. Well not untill a few minutes ago that by some divine luck that I chanced upon a video by a person called Ira Glass.

I have seen his name once, but had no idea who he is, dead or living. I can't tell you why his name stuck to my head, but when I saw that name again while browsing YouTube today (and I RARELY browse ) I just felt the itch to click on it.

Watching 'Ira Glass on Storytelling, Part 3 of 4' almost had me well up in tears cos finally, like finally, someone said it out loud, exactly what has been tangled and left murky in my head. Its like someone finally set me straight. All this months I've felt like I'm grappling through work, slogging day to night, in a blindfold, not knowing if I'm doing this right or if it is ok to be feeling unsatisfied about the level of work I was producing. Now I realise that I was in a 'I Hate What I Make' phase. And today, Ira Glass has set me straight, once and for all, creatively, that is.



"You have to fight your way through that. You will be fierce, You'll be a warrior and you will make things that arent as good as you know in your heart you want them to be..."

More notes/ transcription from the video (parts 1 & 2) for my reference:

Building blocks of a good story:-
- Anecdote (sequence of actions)
Raising a question from the beginning
A bait
It is implied that any qn you raise, you're going to ans
manipulate this - raising a qn, n giving an ans
throwing out qns to keep people qn or listening and answering them along the way

- A moment of reflection
At some point somebody's got to say, here's why the hell you're listening to this story,
Here's the point of this story, here's the bigger something that we're driving at, here's why I am wasting your time with all this...
In a good story there will a flip back and forth of actions, there'll be the story and someone will say something about it... the trick of the whole thing is to have the preseverence that you've got an interesting anecdote that you can end up with an interesting moment of reflection that will support it and that the two together interwoven will make something thats larger than some of its parts.

[part 2 ] On finding great stories...
...(You should think of it the same way) If I were gonna be good, its that point, that time to be the ambitious, super-achieving person, who you're gonna be, and to 'kill' it. Its time to kill, and to enjoy the killing becos by killing you will make something else even better lived. And I think that not enough get said about the importance of abandoning crap. You have to prop it up aggressively at every stage of the way, if its gonna be any good. You have to be a killer about getting rid of the boring parts and go right to the parts that are getting to your heart, and you have to be ruthless if anything is gonna be good.
Things that are really good are good becos people are being really really tough, and you're gonna be really really tough in doing it. And you're gonna know also that failure is a big part of success. You are gonna run alot of stuff and its gonna go nowhere. You should be happy about that. If you're doing that, you're doing it right. If you're not failing all the time, you're not creating a situation where you can get super-lucky.
You have to go into it, knowing that you're gonna record and get rid of a lot of crap before you'll get to anything special. You don't want to be making mediocre stuff. That's not why anybody gets into this. The only reason why you'd wanna do this is cos you wanna make something thats so memorable, its special. And thats what you wanna do.
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