Kejar ptp

Showing posts with label Nick Clegg. Show all posts

War - a fresh perspective

Seems there have been one or two fuck ups lately on the warfare front.

First, Nick Clegg stands up in his first Prime Minister's Questions and describes the Iraq War as 'illegal'. Oh dear. Sharp intakes of breath from the Tories behind him who voted for the war.

It should, however, be remembered that the Lib Dems have always regarded the war as illegal. It should also be remembered that just because someone voted for the war, that didn't make it legal. Show me the dodgy dossier and persuade me that Blair has integrity (difficult in my case), and I might have voted for it. But that still doesn't make it legal - so I reckon fair enough, Cleggy.

Then Call-me-Dave pops across the water to liaise with the great black hope. Unfortunately, he then pisses off the yanks by describing Britain's presence in Iraq as a 'supporting role'. True, but not very palatable. It's America's war, they're fucking it up and we seem to be covering all the difficult stuff. Truth hurts!

But just to show that he's not biased, Dave then pisses off his own veterans by saying that Britain played a junior role in World War II. Well, Dave, that's bollocks because if the Japs hadn't bombed Pearl Harbour we'd still be waiting for the yanks to arrive - just like in the first war.

So, all in all, I reckon that's 2-1 on the war front. Not a great result, but a result nevertheless...

Nick Clegg - I Dreamed a Dream

Following hot on the heels of Gordon Brown's new song a couple of days ago, boy wonder Nick Clegg - cashing in on on his exposure in the hit TV series "The ElectX Factor" before it fades away - has released a sparkling new 20 track, double CD in time for the May election fest.

The full track listing is as follows :

My Way
Whatever You Want
All or Nothing
Everybody's Talking 'bout Me
You've Got a Friend
The Times They Are a' Changing
The Winner Takes It All
Whatever You Want
Keep the Customer Satisfied
Two Tribes
I'm Not Like Everybody Else
Good Times, Bad Times
Down to the Wire
Campaigner
Let Me Entertain You
It's All Over Now
Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out
I Dreamed a Dream
The Party's Over
End of the Line

A copy free with every LibDem vote on May 6th.

Timing is everything

At last! I have been highly critical over the last few weeks of the lack of policy statements coming out of the Conservative Party.

When this campaign started at the beginning of the year, I understood why David Cameron was reluctant to put detailed policies on paper. Only an idiot would give his opponents the opportunity to steal their policies and present them as their own - and let's be honest, Labour are experts at doing precisely that.

Even in Thursday night's debate, I felt that Cameron did not nail Brown by coming out with concrete promises and guarantees, and consigning the Labour scaremongerng machine to the dustbin of history.

Well, I'm sorry Dave. I apologize. Your leaflet today leaves me in no doubt that I have greatly underestimated you because here it is at last.

I'm also sorry that I waited until today to vote, because like many others I was swayed by the polish and style of the LibDem performance. But while I think the electoral system is wrong, I'm not going to pay for changing it by giving amnesties to illegal immigrants and joining the Euro.

But there is one thing I am not sorry about - watching the death throes of a man who has done more damage to this nation than Hitler. Better start booking the removal van, Gordon - and good riddance!

I am now beginning to really believe that the Labour nightmare is drawing to a close - and frankly I can't wait to see the destruction of Brown by his own party once the voting is over. Never has it been more richly deserved.

My vote is in the post. Now let's get on with sorting this shambles out...

Come clean Cleggy - who ya gonna sleep with?

Tonight's the night of the third debate - but I bet no-one is going to put these questions forward :

To Cameron and Brown : What are you going to promise Nick Clegg to get him in bed with you?

To Nick Clegg : Can you trust either of these buggers to honour their promises?

First it's Labour, then you can't work with Brown, then you can again. It's not inspiring me with confidence...

I think we have a right to have these questions answered before we decide where to put our votes.

And just in case you need a lighter note, here's a cracking litte Clegg song I nicked off YouTube (Thanks to TommyReckless - nice one!)

Three men in a boat called "Britain"

In the words of a poet called Robert Calvert :

Rowing, rowing,
Going nowhere
What do we care
If we get there?
Rowing, glowing,
Showing such flair
We're three men in a boat.

Let's play "Fantasy Government"

In the event of a LabServative Democrat government who would you like to see in the cabinet ?

The rules are simple - people have to be real and alive, but other than that you can have anyone. After all, Gordon does it that way doesn't he? You can give reasons if you like for any or all, serious or satirical.

I will reward a generous prize for the winner. My decision is final. No appeals to the European Court will be allowed. The prize is 10p - so you can use it to phone someone who gives a shit...

Here are my selections for the Fantasy Cabinet. Let's see yours!

Prime Minister : David Cameron (a toff always looks good)
Deputy Prime Minister : Nick Clegg (lost the toss of a coin with Cameron)
Chancellor : Vince Cable (best man in the wrong party in my view)
Foreign Secretary : William Hague (no-one patronises foreigners quite like him)
Home Secretary : Nick Clegg (Labour used this post to keep people out of the way)
Business & Consumer Affairs : Esther Rantzen (obvious choice)
Justice : Norman Lamb (he's actually a lawyer, which I would have thought could be handy)
Environment : Dick Sawbridge (demonstrates practical knowledge in the field)
Transport : Jeremy Clarkson
Defense : John Prescott (no-one would dare attack us with him in charge!)
Speaker : Jeremy Paxman (if Paxo can't get them to shut up, no-one can)
Energy : Simon Hughes (one Nick got right)
Europe : Nigel Farage (talks bollocks, so should fit in well)
Health : Gerry Robinson (Is there actually a doctor in any of the three party teams?)
Pensions : Teresa May (I wanted Barbara Castle, but she's dead and it seems Dave got this one right)
Northern Ireland : Gordon Brown (with luck they may shoot the bugger)
Scotland : Alex Salmond (let's face it, he's got the job anyway)
Wales : John Redwood (did such a good job last time)
Education : David Laws (seems to me Nick got this one right too)
Chief Whip : Peter Mandelson (You need a nasty, sneeky underhand bugger in that job)

What do you think ?

And they're off!... Your guide to the runners and riders in the 2010 General Election Stakes...

With the election looming large for May 6th, there's the Dioclese definitive guide to which horse you should be putting your money on for the big day

They're off! The main hopefuls test out their mounts for the big race...

Tory Tiger ridden by Dave Cameron sired by "Soapbox" out of "Maggie May" :
From a long line of thoroughbreds and owned by the Eton stables. Came second in it's last three outings but with a new jockey aboard, it's well fancied this time around. Could be a close run thing - watch for a strong finish

Oh My Gawd ridden by Gordon Brown sired by "Tony the Tory" out of "Boom or Bust" :
A well known horse but an untested rider. Owned by a consortium of Trades Unions. Gordon Brown has been around a while. He was a stable lad for "Tony the Tory" but is now getting a ride in his own right for the first time. Was well fancied but recent form has lengthened the odds considerably. Could be tight thing between him and Dave Cameron, although Dave is carrying a lot less weight

Yellow Bird ridden by Nick Clegg sired by "Diddy David" out of "SDP" :
Bit of an outsider this one but could be good for an each way bet. Should finish in the top three. This horse has has lots of different jockies in it's recent outings, but now has a regular rider in Nick Clegg. Form at this outing could decide whether he gets a ride next time.

Jack 'o' the Green ridden by Caroline Lucas sired by "Swampy" out of "Hug a Tree" :
Not well fancied although did show reasonably well in Europe last time out. Female jockey might attract the mums' votes.

HMS Independence ridden my Lord Pearson sired by "Kilroy's Silk" out of "Get Us Out" :
Rank outsider. Recent spats for the ride between Pearson and rival jockey Nigel Farage have done nothing to improve its chances.

Raving Loony ridden by Alan Hope sired by "Screaming Lord" out of "Sutch is Life" :
Lack of any sort of sensible training program takes this one right out of the running. Will probably do well not to finish last, but does get some support from the younger punters. I wouldn't put your money on this one although it always brings a lot of colour to the proceedings...

Rampant Nationalist ridden by Nick Griffin sired by "Skinhead" out of "National Front" :
Not a popular horse this, particularly disliked by the immigrant community due to it's attitude to employing foreigners in the stable. Will undoubtedly make a good show before the race starts, but will fade badly during the running.

One Trick Pony ridden by Esther Rantzen sired by "That's Life" out of "Maggie-the-Moron" :
A new runner from the Luton South stable. Enjoys a lot of local support and could surprise a few people by making a good showing.

Economic Miracle sired by "Tax and Spend" out of "Boom 'n' Bust" :
Still looking for a rider. Could one of the leading jockies dump his ride for this one?

Some of the other declared runners and riders :

Taffy's Pride ridden by Wyn Jones - we don't think he'll 'wyn' this one though!
Tartan Toughie ridden by Alex Salmon - finds the going better north of the border
The Shamrock ridden by Gerry Adams, trained by Martin McGuinness - one of the livelier overseas entries
Archbishop's Canter ridden by Peter Robinson - talks a good fight
Ree-Spect ridden by George Galloway - not one to be taken remotely seriously and could well fail to finish

Non-runners :

The Lobbyist ridden by Geoff Hoon has withdrawn to avoid further embarrassment to the jockey
Terre Blanche will not be running having taken quite a beating recently on it's home course
Mandy is conserving it's strength for the next big race
Kelly's Eye has withdrawn due to the poor performance of it's owner/rider, Ruth Kelly
Duck House ridden by Peter Viggers, due to unforeseen problems with expenses

This promises to be a hard fought race with a big field, but has the potential to be a lot closer than the last three outings especially between the two joint favourites with huge purse money for the winner...

The Great Leadership Debate

It has recently been announced that there will be a televised debate during the run up to the forthcoming general election. This will give us a chance to look at the three main party leaders Gordon Brown, David Cameron, and Nick Clegg and to judge for ourselves who would make the best leader.

So let's take a look at each of the three party leaders :

1. David Cameron

David Cameron -- or 'Dave' as he prefers to be known -- is probably the most credible leader that the Conservative party has had for many years. But will he make a good Prime Minister? It has been said of him that he is a man with no substance, but only a fool would reveal details of his party's policies before it is necessary to do so. This would, after all, simply give your political opponents opportunities to steal your policies and present them as their own. New Labour has shown itself to be very good at this.

It is certainly true that Dave is a charismatic figure who has, during the recent debacle over MPs expenses, proved that he is capable of strong leadership. The inclusion of former opponents for the leadership into his Cabinet displays a certain confidence which is greatly encouraging. However, his recent assertion that the electorate will have a simple choice between Gordon Brown and himself also displays an unsettling arrogance. This arrogance has in the past been proven to be to the detriment of the party.

If, however, the election is to decided on personalities, then at least Dave seems to have one whereas Gordon seems on occasions to have had a charisma bypass.

2. Gordon Brown

It is undoubtedly true that Gordon Brown is an accomplished and able politician. Unfortunately, in the eyes of many of the electorate, the word politician is frequently taken to mean arrogant and devious. It is interesting to note that during his recent testimony to the Chilcott enquiry he ably showed his ability to answer the question without answering the question.

During an interview with Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight prior to the 1997 election Mr Brown was repeatedly asked whether he was planning to increase National Insurance rates. His response to this was to say that he had no plans to change the current taxation bands. When pressed by Paxman he simply repeated the same answer. Whilst it is true that he has done exactly what he said in relation to taxation -- notwithstanding the recent credit crunch which forced Alistair Darling to introduce a new 50% band -- we should remember what subsequent increases he made made to national insurance contributions.

The most worrying things about Gordon are firstly that he has never been elected either by the electorate or by his own party. Perhaps his opponents were too scared to stand against him in case they would have to face his temper afterwards? Secondly, he has surrounded himself in his Cabinet by people like Lord Mandelson and Lord Adonis who have also never been elected. This cannot be a good thing for democracy.

Mr Brown should either be given a mandate at the forthcoming election or kicked out. Nothing else will really do.

3. Nick Clegg

David Cameron's assertion that it is a two horse race has already been mentioned. This has upset the Liberal Democrats in a big way. However, it is undoubtedly true.

In a recent interview, Vince Cable -- an able economic spokesman for the Lib Dems who has wasted his talents by joining the wrong party -- admitted that he had no chance of becoming the next Chancellor of the Exchequer. Nick Clegg should remember whilst he is voicing his protestations of unfairness that he has about the same chance of being the next Prime Minister.

A hung parliament cannot possibly be a good thing, but if the latest opinion polls are to be believed then this is a very possible outcome to the forthcoming general election. Mr Clegg could well hold the balance of power but that is about the best he can hope for.

Whilst the Lib Dems appear to be very good at local government level, it must be a bad thing for this country that they split the vote during national elections. Whether you are a Labour or Conservative supporter I am sure you would be glad to see the back of the Lib Dems. Of course, if you are a LibDem supporter, you will think this is rubbish.

So should we vote for?

This is not really the big question. The big question is whether you should vote at all. Whoever you decide to vote for, you have an obligation to exercise that vote. It could be argued that voting should be compulsory as per the Australian model. There if you do not vote you are fined but you do have the option on the ballot paper to positively abstain. This would be a far better thing for British democracy and would unarguably improve turnout.

When it comes down to it, you have no right to complain about what you get if you do not vote. Bear this in mind come election day...

READ MORE » The Great Leadership Debate