Kelly Clarkson 'All I Wanted' Concert

Pretty good view from my seat. Kelly is such an awesome singer. She sang right to my heart. Dody texted me today. His excuse for going missing... Crap excuse. I'm not buying it. He texted me during the concert. Apparently his wife is also at the concert. Hahah waatever. The song that I felt most was 'Already Gone' - "You can't make it feel right.. When you know that it's wrong.. There's no moving on.. So I'm already gone"...

"Already Gone"

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high

It never would have work out right, yeah

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop

[Chorus]

I want you to know

That it doesn't matter

Where we take this road

But someone's gotta go

And I want you to know

You couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on

So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you wanna cry

It started with the perfect kiss then

We could feel the poison set in

"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

[Chorus]

You can't make it feel right

When you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone, already gone

There's no moving on

So I'm already gone

Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone

Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone

:: Kelly Clarkson ::

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Remember this morning I said I dont have feelings for Dody, and I should find a way out from him and that I'll survive and move on?

Its been 9 hours since Dody last called or texted.

Why do I feel like dying?

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I'm the 7-Year-Itch

I gotta admit I'm very much behind in updating my blog. You probably guessed it right. Somehow I've slipped into an affair with a certain gentleman I'ld like to call Dody (previously referred to as Shrek, but now I feel like it doesn't do justice... to Shrek. Heh.)

11.44am - Rainy Monday
I'm stranded at home due to the fabulously pouring rain. This is how Monday mornings should be. I've already called the office to say I'm out running errands and might not come in today. This was followed by a few other sms-es from colleagues (inc my boss) saying that they're not coming in to work also. Haha. This is why I love my day job.

As I was saying earlier, yeah... I think I'm having an affair with a married man. Wow. Another firsts box checked. Last Saturday, Dody finally asked me over to his place and we made love.

I've known Dody for 20 days now (inc. today) and last Saturday after that love-ly episode, I ended up spaced and zoned out throughout the rest of the day. That night, at a concert that I had to attend, I finally burst and started crying at one of the songs.

I still find it mind-boggling how a man can have an emotional affair behind his wife. When I was at Dody's place, I saw the pretty framed pictures of him and his wife. Now I knw what Dody meant when he once before said, "One day you'll see the resemblance you have to my wife"... and its true. His wife and I looked like we could be sisters. Infact, I think his wife looks even better that me. But then again, those were his wedding pics from 7 years ago.

Oh yes, did I mention that I'm his 7-year-itch...?

WHY?? WHY?!!! How can a man bring himself to break that wedding vow?

Since I first met Dody, we've only met at his restaurant. I've been there about 4 to 5 times and even have my own special table. Table 60. We'd make out on his couch at the back of the dining area after closing time and I'ld come back like 3 in the morning everytime.

Dody is not a paying customer. More like a sugar daddy who feeds me well. Too well cos I'm putting on a bit of weight no thanks to the late night suppers. He makes the best coffee, showers me with chocolates, foots my cab bills and he checks up on my all the time. With Dody, I feel pretty loved and I enjoy his care and attention.

But after all that, as much as I promised not to judge... I still dont understand how a man can have the heart to bring another woman into the same bed where he and his wife makes love.

Dody says he loves me. But I'm already thinking of how I to get myself out of this. After Popeye, I've learnt my lesson. No love. Nooooo wayyy. Not again. L-O-V-E is just another word I'll never learn to pronounce.

On the downside, I havent been able to get much whoring done with Dody around. Wait. I've only done the Geologist guy and Popeye... yeah, I think that was it.

If I ever have to get rated, I'ld probably be one of the poorly rated whores who fails terribly when it comes to emotions. To date, I've revealed my identity to 2 men - Popeye and Dody. *sighs*

Anw, end of the month is looming. Time for the 'Fifth Wave'... new pictures, new name... still wondering if I should get a new number cos I might lose my regulars. *would have met up with another regular this morning if not for Aunt Mary who is in town :P Then again, I'm pretty relieved when 'she' visits*

Reminder to self: Meeting a 30-something italiano this week.... looking forward to that.

Verdict: Time to move on from Dody. I will miss him but I'll survive.

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Boggled and B*witched

2.42am

I really should be getting my beauty sleep by now but I've just got alot on my mind.

I'm just a lil boggled after being approached by a few married men. Dody, is one of them. He confessed that I'm his 7 year itch.

Dody celebrated his 7th wedding anniversary yesterday and while he was on a dinner date with his wife, he actually slipped me a text message.

I mean, what's up with these married men? What is your wife there for? Go and fuck them 'lah! I'm not complaining cos for us, at the end of the day, its just the cash that we're after. But to cheat on your wife?! To betray the matrimonial vow? Man...

This, will be one of the reasons why I will not marry. Period.

p/s: Got a phone call from a fella just nw. I have a strict no phone call rule. So if my phone rings (obviously men are stupid and don't follow instructions) usually what I would do is, I'ld pick up the phone and wait for them to say 'hello' first. 99% of the time, they LOSE me at 'hello'. From their 'hello', I can tell if its a cikopek-uncle, a bleak malay mat or a bangla.

But today, I received a call from this fella with a really hot-man voice. My natural response is to hang up but this time, after I hung up on him, I actually called him back. *lol*

The fella spoke in full sentences. Decent english. Nice low-tone. I took the chance to flirt with him a little but kept it short. The name's Andy. Hmm, but you know what they say about a guy with a nice voice. They're usually ugly. But what the heck, if Andy can afford me, he'll be back. I really hope he does *cross my fingers* Cos I'm totally bewitched.

xoxo

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Don't Let It Go To Your Head

7.41am
My mind is in fragments. I just woke up but I havent been able to shake off that heaviness in my heart. Feeling like an emo-wreck. Here's what happened the past few days...

- Hooked up with another Swiss Choc... this ones from Geneva.
- Did I mention he's a geologist! Cool, huh?
- Nice guy. Confessed he's married to a french woman and has a 5y.o daughter. Said his wife hadnt made love to him eversince they had their daughter. Oh man...
- He cummed to a mere blowjob. $150 for a 10 min job. Not too shabby I guess.
- Went to Dody's restaurant after that for supper. I now, officially have a special table.
- I'm the woman at table 60.
- Dody's wife was at the restaurant too. Bummer.
- Dody joined me at the table after she left.
- I told Dody I might be getting too comfortable with him. Crossing the lines of 'business'.
- Shrek said to not get emotional and to enjoy this while it last.
- Feel myself falling into the same emo-pattern that I did with Popeye.
- Left in a cab around midnight. Refused Dody's cab money. (Damn, $30 gone)
- Received a txt msg at midnight that says "I'm back!!!". It was from Popeye.
- Had my first anal last night + crazy sex, courtesy of Popeye
- Popeye said he just signed on with a German company (Carpenter's song playing in the background)
- This might be his last visit in S'pore in a long time.
- I cried alone in the room after Popeye left.
- I'm an emo-wreck.

"They're not paying for sex because they want a relationship, silly. There will be others. There always are."
- Belle's A-Z of London Sex Work :: Belle De Jour :: pg 92

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