Here's the article that I was reading the other day, to study the possible mentally settings behind the preference or lack of, for overweight/BBW women. It's rather long, so take your time. I've highlighted the more valuable points.
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Men don't like overweight women for the same reasons women don't like overweight men. For the same reason some people like blonds, some brunettes, some like short women, some like tall men. Same reason why you're attracted to some men and not others. It's not all about conditioning, its not all about the media.
Some other thoughts from the community:
There are many men who like overweight women. It's only the most shallow kind of person who buys into that "it's the media's fault" crap. It is far more likely to be one's personality or low self-esteem that that men find unattractive. Confidence is THE key to being irresistible. After all, if you don't like yourself, why would you expect anyone else to like you?
It's not that men don't like overweight girls. It's that men, just like women, are social creatures. You probably wouldn't date a guy that most other women would consider a geek, even though you might find him attractive for one reason or another. Study after study has shown that men prefer women who have meat on their bones to those who resemble a certain hotel heiress. And study after study has shown that despite a women's body size, men prefer women who are smart, easy going, not prone to depression, are confident in themselves and their mate, etc.
You can be a "bigger" woman and still be healthy. Your health shows in your skin, hair, nails, eyes, and attitude.
Also, keep in mind that a majority of men do not marry supermodel thin women. And they don't marry women who are obsessed with their looks, whether she be obsessed with how good she looks, or obsessed with how "bad" she looks. If you're weight is causing you or could cause you some health problems, then your concentration should be on losing weight to help or prevent those problems. Once you do that, everything else, including the interest of men, will fall into place, no matter what size you are.
Take heart ladies: a poll posted on MSN about 1-2 years ago about men's preference in women showed that American men actually prefer a woman who is somewhat meaty over the anorexic bimbo types; and this was by a clear majority in votes.
It is definitely a cultural phenomena. In many countries, women who are "overweight" are considered desirable. Thankfully, for many women there are increasing numbers of weight diversity tolerance groups. Be confident in who you are. A slim waist may attract for a moment but a WIDE smile will enlist a life mate.
Look at ads for beer or football, pick up a Playboy, or turn on Cinemax after about 11pm and you'll see what is culturally defined as "sexy". A man (usually younger) who objectifies women and sees them as objects of gratification is probably less likely to value a woman's other qualities over her appearance.
It's not so much that men don't like overweight women, it's that men are visual creatures and "sexy" is very culturally dictated (if you don't believe that, take a course in sociology). Those aforementioned media types dictate what sexy is and overweight is not "sexy". But those are anonymous sex objects, so a man may find a larger woman sexy for her mind if he actually gets to know her.
Men do not generally like looking at overweight girls. This does not mean they cannot like an overweight girl. Compensation is almost always possible and it can and is applied to all types of situations in life. A charismatic overweight girl has more of a shot with a man who is seeking someone to connect with than an uncharismatic beautiful girl. Similarly, this same uncharismatic beautiful girl has better chances with a shallow man seeking pure sex than does an overweight yet charismatic female. This is of course, assuming the obvious fact that many of us are products of culture and our perceptions are invariably influenced by culture. Still, our perceptions of beauty and our perceptions of a wonderful person are not the same. An overweight girl can be liked by men; however, she may find it necessary to compensate in some respects in order to compete with and surmise over her thinner female peers.
Some men actually do like overweight girls. Just be proud of who you are, realise that you are beautiful, powerful, and let your inner confidence shine through, and you will attract many men who didn't even know that they would consider a larger woman. Be bold within your own skin.
I'm presuming it's because we are not primarily attracted to overweight men either. Men and women are vastly different but we're so alike in many other ways. It may seem harsh but you are more likely to get noticed if you are a comfortable weight. If you are happy with the way you look you project a positive mood. That's life. Men are superficial and so are we.
A person likes to know they are with someone who's not too lazy to at least take some sense of care of themselves. If they don't take care of their own body, there are reasons. Medical, depression, poor self esteem, poor health, not caring, lazy, bad habits passed down form who raised them. Maybe these are not all reasons for it, but they are many associated with it. You need to like yourself before anyone else is expected to.
People who take care of themselves want to know they are going to be with someone else who feels the same way. Maybe they like the fact that their woman takes pride in herself and has a sense of who she is. Men who are normal find this even more sexy and a turn on. Overweight women, more than a size 10, are often suffering from mental illness or they are lazy with no personal pride. The lady on a man's arm is a sign of his own self esteem. If she is fat or obviously older than he is then the guy has problems. Sorry to sound like a pig ladies but this is the truth. Any man or woman who is not sloppy or a mess mentally wants a person to be with that is like them and men like a nice looking woman on their arm. We are visual creatures. If the babe has a terrible personality she won't usually last but decent looking men DO NOT WANT a woman who doesn't take care of herself to at least a reasonable consent and a half way decent looking man will not have limited options to pick from.
Use your other qualities! Wear make-up. Dress nice. Fix your hair different. SMILE. They will notice.
Men are visually stimulated. In the beginning everything had to do with survival of the fittest. So a woman with broad hips, large breasts meant that she will probably carry and deliver a child well. Being overweight is a sign of in activity/POSSIBLE laziness, who wants that when we are trying to survive? Fast forward into the future, with your modern air brushes, makeup etc. and all men see are these made up air brushed clean looking women with hard muscular bods. That appeals to the basic self preservation/child producing need, but for what ever reason the made up fake girl also looks appealing. So the media and culture have influenced modern man to think that you have to not only be not fat, with a body that looks healthy enough for work and child bearing, but be flawlessly beautiful -- and fat is a flaw.
Still, not all men see fat as a flaw. And we do need to take in to consideration the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and know that every culture has a so called different view of what is and isn't pretty, (Though I think we could take what we Americans consider a beautiful girl, and show her face to the world and there would be a general consensus that she is beautiful, and visa versa).
I lost a large amount of weight and am not getting asked out constantly and turning heads . With all this you would think happiness would come but no, all the guys hitting on me are vulgar, nasty boys. They sit around making fun of fat women on the beach while they have fat rolls hanging out. So maybe you should consider that the guys that don't like overweight women aren't anything to be worrying about anyways. I would rather be obese than put up with the sexual harassment that comes with being thin.
Men like different things at different times in their lives. What is important to them now may not be important later. Younger men, for the most part, don't really know what they want. Socially they may want a "Barbie" for their friends' to admire.
Men do not only like thin women. This is a misconception that has been brought into light by women who are not confident in themselves. Most men don't have a certain type. They like women of all sizes and shapes. Our bodies, whether large or small are who we are. If people -- not just men -- cannot accept us and praise us for us, then they are not worth knowing or having in our lives. Everyone no matter what they look like externally is beautiful. It is ignorance that makes us ugly.
Firstly, a common misconception women seem to have brought upon themselves is the importance of weight in a relationship. Younger people in Grade school and middle school and sometimes high school (specifically depending on the maturity of the individual) will not date an overweight girl. This is, in psychology, referred to as "Social Dating", As a generalization, immature individuals have tenancies to date for looks, Mature individual date for the good reasons. That is a generalization about 80-85% correct. But the problem is, today, women striving for thinness. Most men want NOTHING to do with those overly thin women, because it reflects on the self confidence of the individual, the personality, and through mutual preferences (she puts herself at risk to be thin). This reflects on what she is seeking in a man (looks, looks looks.) However, this is subjective to circumstances, as some woman are naturally thin, so basically, this question isn't a good one to ask if you're looking for a serious relationship. If you follow the traces of relationships and their psychological patterns, you will find that relationships that began based on looks or "Social Dating" tend to fail or dissolve anyway. You've heard it before, you'll hear it again. Be Yourself. It works better than anyone who hasn't tried it could imagine. Being yourself makes every piece of your personality fall into an order that others will find more desirable.
It boils down to choice. Everyone has a preference and if someone doesn't like you then move and quit worrying about one person, or two, or three, or a hundred. If you like being overweight, be overweight, find someone who likes you the way you are and quit bitchin'. Accept who you are or change it.
Women go for guys that are tall and well built. So why is it a "crime" for men to seek out women that are sleek and smooth. To the women out there: When was the last time that you found a short guy attractive? Very few, no doubt, just like there are very few guys that go for overweight women. I am so tired of this double standard; it is wrong for a man to want an attractive lady, but the women can shun guys that are short/fat/no money.
It is all on the way you carry yourself, if you carry yourself like you don't like yourself then why would others, make people realize that big is beautiful. When you start to show the utmost confidence in yourself others will start to see you in a different light. I carry myself like I am beautiful and that is how others will see me. But their are all different types of men out their, some want only heavyset and some want only smaller women.
Men do not like overweight girls, like women do not like short guys. For example, most beautiful women will not look at bloke (even if she is attracted to him) if he's too short. A fairly good looking man even at 5 ft 8 will have to try harder than a counterpart at 6ft 2 of equivalent attractiveness. Flowing from this observation, a pretty 5ft 5 girl at 140lbs will not be popular as an equivalent 5ft5 girl weighing 115.
Because most men are shallow and don't let themselves get far enough into a relationship past the physical part to enjoy and appreciate what a woman is or is not. They believe that sex will be better if they visualize they are sleeping with a Barbie doll. Sadly still, most men today, at least at first, don't want an intellectual or emotional relationship, they want a physical relationship and it's hard for them to visualize being physical with someone that doesn't fit their stereotype, thus, they never get that far. Men are not the only ones that don't like overweight girls or people. The vast majority of American people are fat phobic. They have preconceived ideas about fat people, that they are lazy, unmotivated, eat too much, are sloppy, don't like to do anything physical, are unhealthy, don't take care of themselves or "have issues." Sometimes this is true and sometimes not, but it rarely is decided based upon a scale.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_don't_men_like_overweight_girls
READ MORE » Men are superficial and so are we
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Men don't like overweight women for the same reasons women don't like overweight men. For the same reason some people like blonds, some brunettes, some like short women, some like tall men. Same reason why you're attracted to some men and not others. It's not all about conditioning, its not all about the media.
Some other thoughts from the community:
There are many men who like overweight women. It's only the most shallow kind of person who buys into that "it's the media's fault" crap. It is far more likely to be one's personality or low self-esteem that that men find unattractive. Confidence is THE key to being irresistible. After all, if you don't like yourself, why would you expect anyone else to like you?
What society in general considers attractive is equivalent to what is healthy. In impoverished societies that extra weight would be considered attractive. The same thing goes with tans. In our culture, at least before the cancer craze, a tan was attractive since it was a sign of an active healthy life. In the past, however, tan skin was the sign of a laborer, and was not considered attractive.
It's not that men don't like overweight girls. It's that men, just like women, are social creatures. You probably wouldn't date a guy that most other women would consider a geek, even though you might find him attractive for one reason or another. Study after study has shown that men prefer women who have meat on their bones to those who resemble a certain hotel heiress. And study after study has shown that despite a women's body size, men prefer women who are smart, easy going, not prone to depression, are confident in themselves and their mate, etc.
You can be a "bigger" woman and still be healthy. Your health shows in your skin, hair, nails, eyes, and attitude.
Also, keep in mind that a majority of men do not marry supermodel thin women. And they don't marry women who are obsessed with their looks, whether she be obsessed with how good she looks, or obsessed with how "bad" she looks. If you're weight is causing you or could cause you some health problems, then your concentration should be on losing weight to help or prevent those problems. Once you do that, everything else, including the interest of men, will fall into place, no matter what size you are.
Take heart ladies: a poll posted on MSN about 1-2 years ago about men's preference in women showed that American men actually prefer a woman who is somewhat meaty over the anorexic bimbo types; and this was by a clear majority in votes.
It is definitely a cultural phenomena. In many countries, women who are "overweight" are considered desirable. Thankfully, for many women there are increasing numbers of weight diversity tolerance groups. Be confident in who you are. A slim waist may attract for a moment but a WIDE smile will enlist a life mate.
Look at ads for beer or football, pick up a Playboy, or turn on Cinemax after about 11pm and you'll see what is culturally defined as "sexy". A man (usually younger) who objectifies women and sees them as objects of gratification is probably less likely to value a woman's other qualities over her appearance.
It's not so much that men don't like overweight women, it's that men are visual creatures and "sexy" is very culturally dictated (if you don't believe that, take a course in sociology). Those aforementioned media types dictate what sexy is and overweight is not "sexy". But those are anonymous sex objects, so a man may find a larger woman sexy for her mind if he actually gets to know her.
Men do not generally like looking at overweight girls. This does not mean they cannot like an overweight girl. Compensation is almost always possible and it can and is applied to all types of situations in life. A charismatic overweight girl has more of a shot with a man who is seeking someone to connect with than an uncharismatic beautiful girl. Similarly, this same uncharismatic beautiful girl has better chances with a shallow man seeking pure sex than does an overweight yet charismatic female. This is of course, assuming the obvious fact that many of us are products of culture and our perceptions are invariably influenced by culture. Still, our perceptions of beauty and our perceptions of a wonderful person are not the same. An overweight girl can be liked by men; however, she may find it necessary to compensate in some respects in order to compete with and surmise over her thinner female peers.
Some men actually do like overweight girls. Just be proud of who you are, realise that you are beautiful, powerful, and let your inner confidence shine through, and you will attract many men who didn't even know that they would consider a larger woman. Be bold within your own skin.
I'm presuming it's because we are not primarily attracted to overweight men either. Men and women are vastly different but we're so alike in many other ways. It may seem harsh but you are more likely to get noticed if you are a comfortable weight. If you are happy with the way you look you project a positive mood. That's life. Men are superficial and so are we.
A person likes to know they are with someone who's not too lazy to at least take some sense of care of themselves. If they don't take care of their own body, there are reasons. Medical, depression, poor self esteem, poor health, not caring, lazy, bad habits passed down form who raised them. Maybe these are not all reasons for it, but they are many associated with it. You need to like yourself before anyone else is expected to.
People who take care of themselves want to know they are going to be with someone else who feels the same way. Maybe they like the fact that their woman takes pride in herself and has a sense of who she is. Men who are normal find this even more sexy and a turn on. Overweight women, more than a size 10, are often suffering from mental illness or they are lazy with no personal pride. The lady on a man's arm is a sign of his own self esteem. If she is fat or obviously older than he is then the guy has problems. Sorry to sound like a pig ladies but this is the truth. Any man or woman who is not sloppy or a mess mentally wants a person to be with that is like them and men like a nice looking woman on their arm. We are visual creatures. If the babe has a terrible personality she won't usually last but decent looking men DO NOT WANT a woman who doesn't take care of herself to at least a reasonable consent and a half way decent looking man will not have limited options to pick from.
Use your other qualities! Wear make-up. Dress nice. Fix your hair different. SMILE. They will notice.
Men are visually stimulated. In the beginning everything had to do with survival of the fittest. So a woman with broad hips, large breasts meant that she will probably carry and deliver a child well. Being overweight is a sign of in activity/POSSIBLE laziness, who wants that when we are trying to survive? Fast forward into the future, with your modern air brushes, makeup etc. and all men see are these made up air brushed clean looking women with hard muscular bods. That appeals to the basic self preservation/child producing need, but for what ever reason the made up fake girl also looks appealing. So the media and culture have influenced modern man to think that you have to not only be not fat, with a body that looks healthy enough for work and child bearing, but be flawlessly beautiful -- and fat is a flaw.
Still, not all men see fat as a flaw. And we do need to take in to consideration the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and know that every culture has a so called different view of what is and isn't pretty, (Though I think we could take what we Americans consider a beautiful girl, and show her face to the world and there would be a general consensus that she is beautiful, and visa versa).
I lost a large amount of weight and am not getting asked out constantly and turning heads . With all this you would think happiness would come but no, all the guys hitting on me are vulgar, nasty boys. They sit around making fun of fat women on the beach while they have fat rolls hanging out. So maybe you should consider that the guys that don't like overweight women aren't anything to be worrying about anyways. I would rather be obese than put up with the sexual harassment that comes with being thin.
Men like different things at different times in their lives. What is important to them now may not be important later. Younger men, for the most part, don't really know what they want. Socially they may want a "Barbie" for their friends' to admire.
Men do not only like thin women. This is a misconception that has been brought into light by women who are not confident in themselves. Most men don't have a certain type. They like women of all sizes and shapes. Our bodies, whether large or small are who we are. If people -- not just men -- cannot accept us and praise us for us, then they are not worth knowing or having in our lives. Everyone no matter what they look like externally is beautiful. It is ignorance that makes us ugly.
Firstly, a common misconception women seem to have brought upon themselves is the importance of weight in a relationship. Younger people in Grade school and middle school and sometimes high school (specifically depending on the maturity of the individual) will not date an overweight girl. This is, in psychology, referred to as "Social Dating", As a generalization, immature individuals have tenancies to date for looks, Mature individual date for the good reasons. That is a generalization about 80-85% correct. But the problem is, today, women striving for thinness. Most men want NOTHING to do with those overly thin women, because it reflects on the self confidence of the individual, the personality, and through mutual preferences (she puts herself at risk to be thin). This reflects on what she is seeking in a man (looks, looks looks.) However, this is subjective to circumstances, as some woman are naturally thin, so basically, this question isn't a good one to ask if you're looking for a serious relationship. If you follow the traces of relationships and their psychological patterns, you will find that relationships that began based on looks or "Social Dating" tend to fail or dissolve anyway. You've heard it before, you'll hear it again. Be Yourself. It works better than anyone who hasn't tried it could imagine. Being yourself makes every piece of your personality fall into an order that others will find more desirable.
It boils down to choice. Everyone has a preference and if someone doesn't like you then move and quit worrying about one person, or two, or three, or a hundred. If you like being overweight, be overweight, find someone who likes you the way you are and quit bitchin'. Accept who you are or change it.
Women go for guys that are tall and well built. So why is it a "crime" for men to seek out women that are sleek and smooth. To the women out there: When was the last time that you found a short guy attractive? Very few, no doubt, just like there are very few guys that go for overweight women. I am so tired of this double standard; it is wrong for a man to want an attractive lady, but the women can shun guys that are short/fat/no money.
It is all on the way you carry yourself, if you carry yourself like you don't like yourself then why would others, make people realize that big is beautiful. When you start to show the utmost confidence in yourself others will start to see you in a different light. I carry myself like I am beautiful and that is how others will see me. But their are all different types of men out their, some want only heavyset and some want only smaller women.
Men do not like overweight girls, like women do not like short guys. For example, most beautiful women will not look at bloke (even if she is attracted to him) if he's too short. A fairly good looking man even at 5 ft 8 will have to try harder than a counterpart at 6ft 2 of equivalent attractiveness. Flowing from this observation, a pretty 5ft 5 girl at 140lbs will not be popular as an equivalent 5ft5 girl weighing 115.
Because most men are shallow and don't let themselves get far enough into a relationship past the physical part to enjoy and appreciate what a woman is or is not. They believe that sex will be better if they visualize they are sleeping with a Barbie doll. Sadly still, most men today, at least at first, don't want an intellectual or emotional relationship, they want a physical relationship and it's hard for them to visualize being physical with someone that doesn't fit their stereotype, thus, they never get that far. Men are not the only ones that don't like overweight girls or people. The vast majority of American people are fat phobic. They have preconceived ideas about fat people, that they are lazy, unmotivated, eat too much, are sloppy, don't like to do anything physical, are unhealthy, don't take care of themselves or "have issues." Sometimes this is true and sometimes not, but it rarely is decided based upon a scale.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_don't_men_like_overweight_girls
