Lookie who won an award...

I totally misapprehended the concept of "boobie prize"...

Der Schatten is pleased to announce the vesting of a "Stylish Blogger Award" upon him by Siouxsie Law, (who in turn received it from Lady Euphoria Deathwatch --which is a fantastic little place, btw...both of 'em).

The ground rule for nomination are nearly as daunting as those secret Phi Beta Kappa machinations my professors confessed to whilst I was at Alabama (suffice it to say, my then-girlfriend got the nod, while I was left alone, in the cold...as usual. Although, that's probably a poor turn of phrase: Since A) it's hard to be cold in Tuscaloosa, and B) I don't really have to suffer through the whole 'alone' thing. But, you get the point).

Ground rules people:

1. Thank and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. Jot down 7 random facts about yourself.
3. Give the award to 15 other bloggers and let them know about it.

Taking these in turn: 

#1. Check. Thanks again Siouxsie...

#2. Seven Random Facts:

• In college there was a pack of us who specialized in moderate drug use, serious alcohol abuse, and sleeping with one another at various times, named immodestly "the Seven". For some reason, we all wound up waiting tables at the same restaurant. Five of us went on to become attorneys. One is a professor of English Lit in Germany. The other is a professor of Philosophy at Wash U in St. Louis. And, the saddest part is that we don't speak to one another any more.
• I play the guitar, the bass, drums, piano, sing, and was a professional musician in a past life (signed and toured and everything). 
• I have the distinction of being on good terms with nearly every lover and/or serious ex who've passed through my adult life (High School FWBs do not count, as we're still larval adults then). I think it comes from A) honesty about motives, B) honesty about why shit is/was breaking down, and C) humor. Try those some time, you might find they work.
• I love women of varying ethnicity and hues. If there were an 'ideal', it would be a cross between an Ukranian and a Latina. Yet, for some reason, I've dated Irish girls almost exclusively. 
• I really, honestly do not take myself seriously. I take what I do seriously, when the occasion requires it, but you're more than likely to find me making juvenile quips while running around in boxers, than you are to find me in "polite society" being self-serious. So, take what I say with a grain of salt...it's just my natural revulsion towards, and reactions against, Republicans I think.
• Siouxsie is afraid of Libertarians (with good reason). More than that, I'm terrified of "unschoolers" and the "unschooling movement".
• If brevity is the heart of wit, then I'm witless.

 #3. Linkie-Linkie Nominations (some of these will be familiar names).

•  Jack Balkin's "Balkinization" for serious con law nerds.
• Glenn Greenwald's Corner on Salon
• The various lovely ladies and their photo blogs at Dirty Angels
• Dark Circle Room
• Dark Lyrics
• Doug Gillette's "Hey, Jenny Slater", a/k/a/, the Chancellor of the Sexchequer.
• Orson Swindle/Spencer Hall's paradigm-shifting "Every Day Should Be Saturday".
• Nico, Todd, OTS at RBR
• Nico's music joint, "Hear the World".
• Kleph's recipes, Andean reminiscing on Peru, journalism and football
• Josh Marshall's investigative, center-left "Talking Points Memo/TPM Muckraker".
• My current fantasy (all of 'em), at the Pinup Post.
• Wahoo Corner...simply brilliant. Painfully, honestly brilliant.
• Most of you law students won't get firm jobs (and 1/2 of you won't have a job within 9 months of graduating). Don't read the ABA's pie in the sky shit, start practicing immediately with Carol Elefant's My Shingle 
• Violet Blue's delicious blog on all things alt-sex (sorry, perviness is inherent, I fear).

Anyway, thanks again, and remember, folks: It's a major award.

I hope it's not fra-geel-ay.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Lookie who won an award...

EASILY THE BEST CONTENT this blog has ever, ever produced.

As promised on multiple occasions over the past two weeks, I have the most awesome story ever. Seemingly taken from the pages of pulp fiction ripped from the outakes of 2010's Summer Blockbuster, Kick-Ass, comes the (pardon the pun) most kick ass thing ever...


Honest to god costumed "superheroes"

The name's Jones, Phoenix Jones

Here is an excerpt from the Seattle Post Intelligencer/Seattle Crime.com

“I’m Phoenix Jones. I’m from the Seattle area. And I fight crime.”

That’s how local masked man Phoenix Jones introduced himself to a group of boisterous college students sitting outside of the Chipotle restaurant in the University District Friday night, as I accompanied him on his nightly patrol.

Does that get your blood pumping? Feeling hyped? Well it damn well should. But, any old whack job can claim to be a superhero....it takes something special to actually fight crime, right? Indeed. That said, let's see our newest hero in action, shall we?

You can say "No way, No way." But, goddammit, that's what they said about Batman too.

And, for these unfortunate carjackers, they bit off more justice than they could handle....

That's right, Phoenix Jones patrolling the mean streets of Seattle, one man driven by vengeance, eaten by conscience, and consumed by vigilantism. And, guess what criminal elements of the underworld, hatching your nefarious plots with your toadies and molls in tow? Phoenix Jones ain't alone. 

Last week, the Seattle Police Department’s Robbery unit sent out an internal memo to officers, warning them that they may soon encounter Jones or his fellow costumed do-gooders—"Thorn," Buster Doe," "Green Reaper," "Gemini," "No Name," "Catastrophe," "Thunder 88," and "Penelope,” according to the memo—who have popped up on Seattle’s increasingly weird streets over the last year.

SPD had a run in with Jones earlier this month when a concerned citizen called police and reported a potential robbery after they spotted two masked men pull their Kia Forte in to a Capitol Hill gas station with its headlights off in the middle of the night.

The masked men were gone by the time officers arrived, but robbery detectives tracked Jones to his secret lair outside of Seattle and spoke with Jones’ Godmother, who told police he "dresses up like a superhero and goes out with his friends at night and does good deeds," according to an internal police document.

 

Fear-stricken citizens, despair no longer, thanks to Penolope, Phoenix Jones, No Name and others, the weird streets of Seattle are getting a little safer. But, it's not just Seattle that has a new cadre of caped crusaders. All across the country, in an effort to make every 14 year old boy's dream come true, superheroes and superhero associations are springing up!

Hell, they've even got their own websites for the budding, would-be vigilante lurking within:  With consortiums such as "Real Life Superheroes Project"...which includes a freaking registry of those who walk among us.

But, what if you want to be more lethal, have better gadgets, cooler costumes? Is there something for that? Damn skippy, there is! As Mr. Ravenblade suggests on his website, regarding developing your own supergadgets:

You will have the easiest time if you are a company ordering some of the items before the people will risk selling them to you. Sure, there is always online auction sites like EBay, but in the end having your own LLC created to be the buyer with money you fund allows you to get a wider range of stuff, makes all your research tax deductable if you have a good accountant, will usually help you get materials cheaper and most importantly will help educate you and help keep your actions within the bounds of the law. I highly suggest that basic business skills and the creation of an LLC (if your state allows them, if not ask your accountant about an S Corporation) be part of your RLSH training. T. Stark did it, B. Wayne did it, why shouldn't you?

Mr. Silent here (reppin' Indianapolis) rocks a pretty sweet Destro look.

 

Alas, all is not paradise in our real world's Metropolis. Just as Superman and Batman have their tiffs, so too do our own masked avengers occasionally have a rift. The above Phoenix Jones currently has beef with Seattle's other prominent hero, Mr. Ravenblade.

The sad, sordid tale is here

FWIW: I think Mr. Ravenblade has got the better end of the argument here.

So, is this a hoax, nerd wet dreams being realized, or are we seeing a new era in Samaritans, ones with gadgets, masks and a willingness to hit back against the elements terrorizing us? 

Rather, it's as Minneapolis' Geist says

“I’m basically just a guy who tries to do some good things. I’ve succeeded at some, had marginal success at others, and have had my fair share of total screw-ups.”

You know what? At the end of the day, that's all we can ask to be, and all we can ask to do. But, as Mr. Ravenblade says, sometimes that's enough....

It is really not that hard to save a life or change the world. you just have to be dedicated, and be willing to step up and protect others.

-d.s

READ MORE » EASILY THE BEST CONTENT this blog has ever, ever produced.

Shout out to the GLBT peeps...

As with so many diverse groups in the world, people that have enriched our lives in ways small and large, I am pleased to congratulate the GLBT community on the opening of their first museum of history.

Alan Turing, DiVinci, Michealangelo, Oscar Wilde and far too many to name have redefined our world, made it a better place, and in some cases, have saved the world. Here's to the long overdue recognition of your accomplishments.


If you're in San Francisco, drop by, drop in and be surprised at what (and who) you didn't know about the history of homosexuals.

Did you have to put it in the Castro District, though?

-d.s.

READ MORE » Shout out to the GLBT peeps...

A story you won't hear from the bigoted Right...

Damn Muzelims gonna' destroy 'Merica an' our Chrishan Nashun...

Quick food for thought today regarding our Jihadi friends in the Middle East, via AhramOnline. Seems that our murderous Muslim friends are up to their old ways...threats of violence against Christians, armed sectarian violence, and human shields.

Except for one very crucial distinction

Egypt’s majority Muslim population stuck to its word Thursday night. What had been a promise of solidarity to the weary Coptic community, was honoured, when thousands of Muslims showed up at Coptic Christmas eve mass services in churches around the country and at candle light vigils held outside. 

From the well-known to the unknown, Muslims had offered their bodies as “human shields” for last night’s mass, making a pledge to collectively fight the threat of Islamic militants and towards an Egypt free from sectarian strife.

 Copts: Huh? Did we hear that right?

Yes, you read that correctly. Far from decrying religious pluralism, call for a renewed Caliphate and Jihadis arming themselves to the teeth, rather, the Muslim pledge to honor and protect the lives and freedoms of other religious adherents was instead honored in Egypt. 

And, not just honored, but protected at the price of their very lives.

This is not about us and them,” said Dalia Mustafa, a student who attended mass at Virgin Mary Church on Maraashly Street. “We are one. This was an attack on Egypt as a whole, and I am standing with the Copts because the only way things will change in this country is if we come together.”

Just when I abandon all faith in humanity, and believe that we will wipe ourselves out in the names of our imaginary friends, I read stories like this. 

And, for the first time in a long time, the misty-eyed sensation I felt was from hope.

 

READ MORE » A story you won't hear from the bigoted Right...

How do I love Romania, let me count the ways.

First, it's got a kick-ass book about the amazing life of Atilla Ambrus, the anti-hero described in Ballad of the Whisky Robber as:

the Robin Hood of Eastern Europe. He's the onetime pelt smugger, goaltender (possibly the worst in the history of pro hockey), pen salesman, Zamboni driver, gravedigger, church painter, roulette addict, building superintendent, whiskey drinker, and native of Transylvania who's decided that the best thing to do with his time is to rob as many banks as possible.

 Okay, so he's Hungarian (close enough, right?)

Second, it's got Roma (Gypsies), and Gypsie curses.

Per the Guardian

Double, double toil and trouble: witches in Romania are planning to cast a spell on the country's rulers because of laws that will force them to pay tax for the first time.

Cat excrement and dead dogs, rather than eye of newt and toe of frog, will go into their cauldron – but they are hoping to put a Macbeth-style hex on the country's president, Traian Basescu, and his government after the imposition of a tax regime aimed at tackling the recession.

Intriguing. Tell me more...

A dozen witches will hurl the poisonous mandrake plant into the river "so evil will befall them", a witch named Alisia said. The threatened curse is not being taken lightly in a country with a long tradition of superstition. Basescu and his aides have been known to wear purple on certain days in an attempt to ward off evil.

The new law is part of the government's drive to collect more revenue and crack down on tax evasion. It will force the likes of witches, astrologers and fortune tellers to register their professions and become liable for 16% tax in line with other self-employed Romanians.

The Queen witch Bratara Buzea said she would lead a chorus in casting a spell using a concoction of cat excrement and a dead dog. "They want to take the country out of this crisis using us? They should get us out of the crisis because they brought us into it," she said.

There's not much more to add to a story that kick-ass, other than to wish more power to the good occult Roma, and good luck in both your necromancy and tax evasion...

Where's Borat to defend me? I sense the evil eye of a Gypsy Witch

(Yes, she really is...went to prison and everything for it).

-d.s

READ MORE » How do I love Romania, let me count the ways.

Merry Christmas/Happy Saturnalia

From Der Schatten and the Fetching Frau Schatten, Merry Christmas: Like I said a few days ago, belief or proper denomination is not required to enjoy a paid State and Federal holiday; to eat well; to visit with family and friends, and just generally to enjoy the company of loved ones. (And presents...don't forget, everyone likes getting new shit!).


See you boils and ghouls in a few days, until then, let's have some punk mood music as you tuck into that first glass of booze and watch "A Christmas Story" for the fourth time today.

The Vandals' 1996 Christmas Classic "Oi to the World", with the title track for you...

Give back to the one who's always been there for you: "Christmas Time For My Penis"

"Grandpa's Last Christmas": Be nice; they'll soon be dead.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Merry Christmas/Happy Saturnalia

Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: K-O

Once again; great things to give as gifts, pamper yourself, or be a snob...all for $30 or less! Also, it is worth noting, that I am not paid for any of these endorsements. This is a 100% non-commercial venture. I just try to share the love to whom I can, when I can.

Enjoy. You can also peruse Parts One (A-D) and Two (E-J), respectively.


K-Pak Deep Penetrating Moisture Reconstructor

At $18-$24, this is an absolute essential for those living in dry areas. More importantly, for you poor bastards stuck in the cold, dry, frigid, snowy/icy, windy weather gripping most of the country, you know how much havoc is wrought on your coif. This is pricey for just over on ounce, but no conditioner on the planet does so much, with so little, so fast for your frozen locks. Obvs, not for every day use.

Macallan Fine Oak 10

This one cheats a bit (usually retails for about $32...but, let's pretend anyway). Macallan is a Speyside/Highland scotch, usually known for its 12 and 15-year varieties, and excellent amber coloration. The "Fine Oak 10" is, as you'd guess, an aged oak, 10-y.o. version, and, is an excellent mid-priced entry, replete with complex flavors. Let's hear what "Spirit Journal" magazine says shall we, upon giving this top shelf booze four- out of five-stars:

Pale golden yellow color is pure and clean, the initial aroma reveal supple, buttery, and piney aromas. The palate entry is honey sweet and silky.

If that doesn't make you thirsty, I don't know what will....

Library Card

Where iTunes is 20th Century par excellence in musical cataloging, it doesn't have shit on the original master organizers: Libraries(ians). From Alexander and Athens in Greece to Athens in Georgia, libraries are the repository of human knowledge, belief, innovation and imagination. A city has no soul unless it has a library; and, if there is one thing on this earth that can change a child forever it is a trip to the library (the summer reading programs are brilliant, and life-changing --growing up as a desperately poor child, I can personally attest to this fact). Best part is, as a taxpayer of the county/city, your membership is usually free, and, if not, libraries (and supporting them), represents the single best $5-$10 you'll ever spend. Ever.

H/T to the Fetching Frau Schatten for reminding me of this one :)

The iconic NYC Central Public Library...

 

Nordstrom "Smart Care" Flat Front Slacks

Simply put, I love Nordstrom's slacks. American Eagle makes jeans and chinos that actually fit like a glove, no tailoring required. But, for everyday business slacks that fit that way, it's a tougher bill. This is where the "Smart Care", machine washable, flat front, no iron-required, business casual slacks are perfect, and fit perfectly. Nordstrom quality; great fit; low maintenance, and affordable during the Labor Day sale ($27.99-$45.99, after 40% off).

Pleats are for suckas, yo.

Ono

You probably know this fish better as Wahoo, on the mainland. However, the Hawaiian word for this critter is "Ono", which means "good to eat" or "delicious". And, it is absolutely both of those things. A mild, firm fish, with little gaminess and a pleasant texture, it is exceptionally versatile for grilling, and is excellent sashimi style as well. Local caught Ono goes for about $13.99/lb, prices on the mainland are as high as $24/lb. Either way, meet the Sea Bass' equally delicious cousin. 

The redder the better. Look at the core of this thing...it's practically a tenderloin.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: K-O

Wednesday before Saturnalia...

Incidentally, Happy Belated Solstice.

Hope those of you on the N. American mainland got to see the first full Solstice solar eclipse since 1630. We're in the midst of an out-of-season Tropical Cyclone that has everything funky, rainy and windy...and the odds were good we weren't going to see anything in any event.

Be that as it may, hope you had a good one, and everyone is getting ready for a nice few days off for Christmas (belief not required to have a paid holiday!).

This morning's selection is a bit off the beaten path: Skull-crushing, blasphemous industrial from Ministry. Enjoy, won't you?

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant Album: "Psalm 69" and this here live title track!

wh00t!11!

What a fucking great start to Wednesday...

-d.s.

READ MORE » Wednesday before Saturnalia...

Let's take a minute to think about "circle sentencing"

I presently do complex civil litigation, typically involving land use, ocean access and construction work: Usually, it's rich developers suing rich companies and bringing in rich insurers. Not too much black-hat/white-hat stuff, usually.

However, my first love has always been tribal law. It's the reason I went to law school, and that's what brought me to the Great Plains. One of the fascinating things about indigenous law is the over-arching concept of "punishment" as much more a community shunning than it is one of vindiction as in Anglo legal traditions (yep, was a philosophy guy in college, why do you ask?). Particularly interesting is the concept of "circle sentencing"

 "John Marshall" of the Lakota.

What is circle sentencing? Interesting really, it's a form of "restorative justice" that takes into account all of the needs and concerns of the interested parties and victims of a particular crime. The State of California describes it pretty well.

A sentencing circle is a community-directed process, conducted in partnership with the criminal
justice system, to develop consensus on an appropriate sentencing plan that addresses the
concerns of all interested parties. Sentencing circles — sometimes called peacemaking circles —
use traditional circle ritual and structure to involve the victim, victim supporters, the offender,
offender supporters, judge and court personnel, prosecutor, defense counsel, police, and all
interested community members. Within the circle, people can speak from the heart in a shared
search for understanding of the event, and together identify the steps necessary to assist in
healing all affected parties and prevent future crimes.

Sentencing circles typically involve a multi-step procedure that includes: (1) application by the
offender to participate in the circle process; (2) a healing circle for the victim; (3) a healing circle
for the offender; (4) a sentencing circle to develop consensus on the elements of a sentencing
plan; and (5) follow-up circles to monitor the progress of the offender. The sentencing plan may
incorporate commitments by the system, community, and family members, as well as by the
offender. Sentencing circles are used for adult and juvenile offenders with a variety of offenses
and have been used in both rural and urban settings. Specifics of the circle process vary from
community to community and are designed locally to fit community needs and culture.

It sounds dirty hippy, but trust me; it's not.

Seems a fascinating concept, doesn't it? And one which would definitely be more at odds with the notion of punishment as a mechanism for restitution and rehabilitation, doesn't it? 

Well, imagine my surprise, when I was reading the local paper today, and the concepts of "circle sentencing" were brought to bear on the tragic story involving a 1-year old killed by a drunken driver:

Cradling a photo of his little girl, Wayne Braden sat in court with a heavy heart. A happy child who loved dogs and the ocean, 17-month-old Aliyah was the apple of her father's eye.

"There's thousands of girls that look just like that, beautiful, who are out there waiting to be smashed by drunks who have no consideration whatsoever," Braden said.

* * *

"I stand before you today with my head down in shame and with guilt for what I have taken from you," Kaleohano-Knittle said through tears. "You may never be able to forgive me. I have deprived you of your child."

"I acknowledge the devastation that I have caused in your life," Kaleohano-Knittle said. "Your continuing pain and sorrow are in my heart forever."

* * *

The 51-year-old says she no longer drinks, attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and wants to speak about her experience to schools and community groups.

"I will work tirelessly to keep drunk drivers off the road," she said through tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

* * * 

Wayne Braden then stood up and hugged his daughter's killer, bringing others in the courtroom to tears.

* * *

"What I just witnessed was one of the most extraordinary acts of compassion and contrition that I have seen," Elizabeth Strance, Circuit Court judge, said.

So, when you hear the concept of circle sentencing and restorative justice; this is what we're talking about: Not a group kumbaya, but the best interests of the victim, his/her family, the state, and the offender. FWIW; this lady was then sentenced to ten years in prison, financial restitution and community service relating to her already-prolific anti-drunk driving public service work.

A tragedy not compounded by punitive measures is the point.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Let's take a minute to think about "circle sentencing"

Kind of a big deal, really: Captured Anti-Matter

Large Hadron Collider: Not just for destroying the Earth anymore!

Really, this is  a very big deal, and exceptionally cool. Seems scientists at Lucerne have pulled off the impossible feat of isolating, and then containing anti-matter. Anti-matter is destroyed when it comes into contact with regular ole' universe matter. That they were able to isolate it, and then contain it for a a period of time is remarkable. 

One of the holy grails of particle physics, in fact.

Per the BBC:

Researchers at Cern, home of the Large Hadron Collider, have held 38 antihydrogen atoms in place, each for a fraction of a second.

Antihydrogen has been produced before but it was instantly destroyed when it encountered normal matter.

The team, reporting in Nature, says the ability to study such antimatter atoms will allow previously impossible tests of fundamental tenets of physics.

The current "standard model" of physics holds that each particle - protons, electrons, neutrons and a zoo of more exotic particles - has its mirror image antiparticle.

The antiparticle of the electron, for example, is the positron, and is used in an imaging technique of growing popularity known as positron emission tomography.

However, one of the great mysteries in physics is why our world is made up overwhelmingly of matter, rather than antimatter; the laws of physics make no distinction between the two and equal amounts should have been created at the Universe's birth.

This still doesn't mean that I trust the LHC, or that it won't devour our world like Galactus; nevertheless, this alone would be a pay-off for the long-delayed, over-budgeted, controversial particle collider.

Yea, science!

  Ignore this guy. Really, he's just here for the refreshments.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Kind of a big deal, really: Captured Anti-Matter

Let's see what Mr. Shadow has been up to, shall we...

Oh, nothing much on this end. Besides lawyerin' and being intimidated by incredibly beautiful human beings (of all genders, races, sizes, religions, ethnicity, creeds and various permutations theref), I've just been taking it easy...catching some sights, you know, like...


Watching the locals and haoles engage in meaningful cultural exchange:

This is non-fiction, clearly. Her hair is not frizzy enough from humidity.

* * *

Visiting Kiluea's gentle lava flows roll into the sea. Perfectly safe:

Pompeii? Why do you ask?

 * * *

Commune with the peaceful, idyllic wildlife:

 More legs than a spider, less than a roly-poly.

 * * *

Enjoying the locally-grown foods and cuisine:

 The goat enjoys this less than you'd imagine.

* * *

Going for relaxing drives across the gentle island hills:

 Fifteen thousand feet, in one hour (from sea-level), should be manageable by car.

* * *

Watching the tide swell in, as the sun sets over Keauhou Bay:

These gentle giants of the ocean are so misunderstood and wrongly feared.

In all seriousness; this is a great place. I love it, and love the gig. The people are great. The island is amazing. The fruit and vegetables and fish, as well as beef, pork and chicken, are always fresh and always from local producers. There is one helluva' sticker shock when grocery shopping, and paying your electric bill. But, for the benefits of being in America, yet not having any vibe remotely resembling the States, this the choice for ex-pats of all ages and hues. Sorry, Mainland, I'll come visit. But I'm here for life.

-D.S.

 

 

 

 

READ MORE » Let's see what Mr. Shadow has been up to, shall we...

What goes around, comes around...

A few years ago, a story of my local interest made the international wires when young Birmingham (AL) high schooler, Natalee Holloway, was abducted, murdered and her body dumped somewhere off the shores of Aruba on her vacation.

Y

The perp long suspected of killing her, a Dutch sociopath by the name of Joran Van der Sloot has now been busted in Peru for robbing and strangling to death a local prostitute.  He confessed to that crime, and the speculation is that he has intimated details of Holloway's death and/or the location of her body. One of the incentives the local government has is the threat of the infamous ultra-violent Peruvian prisons of Castro Castro (where he's currently held), and the long-term facility that he'll likely die in, Lurigancho.

Why do I say that he'll likely die there? I didn't...his Peruvian lawyer did.

"The prison (currently housing van der Sloot) is one of the toughest prisons, along with Lurigancho," Griffith says. "I've been in prisons in over two dozen countries. In fact, I was the lawyer for Billy Hayes from the movie 'Midnight Express,' and the Turkish prison is a Ritz-Carlton compared to this. .."I'm not certain," Copeland says, "van der Sloot can do anything to assure himself that he's gonna survive this Peruvian prison system. …

This is his arrival at Castro Castro...

And, this is the Panopticon-style hellhole of Castro Castro...

How bad are these Peruvian prisons (as if the allusions to Midnight Express didn't clue you in)? Here's more from the CBS Story

There's about 10,000 prisoners for 3,000 spaces. This and another prison where he's gonna go afterwards, Lurigancho, has dormitories of about 600 prisoners in each. The showers run once a week for 15 minutes. There's only 12 showers. They're in rooms of about 25-by-15 (feet) with about 35 prisoners. About seven or eight sleep on the floor. There's a hole for a toilet.

"And it's a very, very brutal place." 

"In Lurigancho, you have the Shining Path guerillas. There's about 600 of them. They had a revolt one day, about 124 were killed by the police. When I went to visit a client of mine there, I had to hire two-guards to walk me through the Shining Path guerilla territory. The next day, I thought it would be better if my client visited me in the holding area - in the visiting area. And a prisoner got stabbed ten feet away from me.

 This is part of Lurigancho. You could say it's filthy...

In addition to being overcrowded...

and violent.

 

 

So there you are, Joran, Lurigancha: Your new home. There aren't 17 and 22 year-old girls to bully, here. Instead, there are the most psychopathic and vile that Peru has to offer. Ever heard of the Shining Path? A Peruvian, ultraviolent, ultra-Marxist terrorist group? Ever heard of what they did to people? Like schoolyards of areas the rebels didn't control?

It's wasn't pretty.  Especially with machetes.

 

 

 

 

But, you know what they say? What goes around, comes around. And, in the words of your lawyer, you're a dead man, "If they want to get you in this prison, they'll get you...I'd be very surprised if van der Sloot makes the seven or eight or ten years, whatever he'll get."

 

 

 

 

.

. 

READ MORE » What goes around, comes around...

Monday is glad Annie has disappeared...

Look at those dead eyes....

Yes, kids, it's Monday and as we begin to get back into the grind of another (not) so productive week, let's say goodbye to the glass eyes of the taxidermist clan at Lil' Orphan Annie.  After 86 years, no discernible humor, too many movies/plays, and the worst song ever made, Annie exits stage left. Farewell, ridiculous rags to riches speil...

HAHA! Now, it's stuck in your head too...

Yes, I know I am a dick.

.

READ MORE » Monday is glad Annie has disappeared...

Need to bone up on your Macroeconomics?

Yes, yes you do...My suspicion is that a great many people, worldwide, are seriously pissed and have no idea how we got in this global economic mess. There are a couple of things you should know at the outset. 1. Every economic collapse of the 20th and 21st centuries can be traced directly to Goldman Sachs and speculation. 2. Every economic collapse of the 20th and 21st centuries is likewise directly attributable to the cycles of boom n bust that modern capitalist endeavors rely upon.

But, how to sort out the competing views of the giants in this field, John Maynard Keynes and F. A. Hayek?

How about this  ballin' fucking' video by "creative economist" Russ Roberts. Enjoy.

.

READ MORE » Need to bone up on your Macroeconomics?

The coolest old people on the planet: Literally.

These two are smiling for a reason...

Ah, the sunset years. Time to retire to a good life of rest, leisure, hobbies, and enjoy the company of your loved one. A chance to reflect upon a life spent in toil and hardship, and look back with pride on your accomplishments, while shepherding the younger generations alond their life's journey.

Well done, me...well done...

 

But, sometimes retirement can be a bit difficult, particularly when your relationship isn't strong, or your friends and loved ones start to be ill, or pass away. Then, there is the potential boredom; after all, you've spent your life working and striving. Now what?

However, if you're the Smith family, 75 year-old retirees in London, boredom most definitely is not on your agenda. See, while other elderly couples are traveling, taking up (or resuming) hobbies, gardening, visting with friends and families, Ian and Jean Smith have something way, way cooler to distract them...

They are Britain's oldest swingers.

Pics or it didn't happen...

Wow. In an fascinating story by SWSN.com, it is revealed that the Smiths are the unofficial "King and Queen of Swingers" in the UK. And, by their own estimate, have had over 300 orgies or shared encounters.

Despite their age, Ian and Jean show no signs of slowing down and vow to continue swinging for as long as physically able.

But Ian admitted: ”Our children know but they prefer to say nothing about it – I guess it doesn’t matter how old you get, you can still be embarrassed by mum and dad.”

This is really, truly, the most awesome story ever. For those of us concerned about life ending when our productive years are concluded, it's damned good to know that our reproductive ones can continue.




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Sin is good for you...

These fraulein could have told you that...

BTW: While Der Schatten approves of both breasts and German beers, Spaten is just nasty...Of course, I've never had it in Germany, where I imagine it is significantly better than the piss we get in the States.

For those worried about their mental health and capacity through our lives and into the sunset years, there is especially good news: Alzheimer's can probably be staved off with the help of some items at your local Kroger's. It is doubly good news if you look at a recent Spanish study into the cognitive effects of alcoho:

"Our results suggest a protective effect of alcohol consumption, mostly in non-smokers, and the need to consider interactions between tobacco and alcohol consumption, as well as interactions with gender, when assessing the effects of smoking and/or drinking on the risk of Alzheimer's disease," the study's lead author, Ana M. Garcia, from the University of Valencia's department of preventive medicine and public health, said in a news release.

 Sod off, I'm protectin' me gob...

There is, however, a downside to this research. It seems that the protective powers are especially pronounced among non-smokers. This seems to be completely at odds with a bevy of reports indicating that nicotine benefits Alzheimer's patients, delays onset of the disease, and may actually provide protection against the dementia. So, while beer helps and a smoke helps, a beer and a smoke doesn't help...

Which is a pity really, since a smoke buddies up with a pint as natural as potatoes form a symbiosis with steak. But, like most things in life, it seems you're going to have to forgo one or the other.

Pictured: Not protecting oneself from Alzheimer's, but, greatly enhancing the chances of getting laid...Your call.

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Our long national nightmare is over...

Well, school is releasing children to the wild, but that's not quite what I meant.

Yesterday, as part of a 136-vehicle order for Avis Car Rentals, the last Hummer ever to be manufactured rolled off the assembly line. These environmental catastrophes (the H2 especially) were subject to much deserved criticism, numerous recalls, rollovers, and accidents (gee, I wonder why, when you put a soccer mom in a tank, she might feel invincible). Full story here, at Car Connection.

 C'mon Tad, let's go hop in the suburban tank and get 6 miles per gallon...

The original military Hummer (diesel, natch) had its place and its purpose. However, the commercial model, and it's progeny, the H2 and H3 were just eco-fucking, gas-guzzling monstrosities on a standard Tahoe frame. Americans always have had more money than good sense, and the Hummers' success ix Exhibit 1A in support of that proposition...

Either that, or you have a small penis...

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Tuesday's in the Navy Now....

And the Army, the Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard. More in a bit, but enjoy the dulcet tones of the Village People celebrating the end of DADT. Of course, I can't stand watching the village people, so we're going to have to deal with Muppets. Cool with you?

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da Vinci: You never know what's in the attic

This is one of the coolest things I've read (or seen) in quite a while; and, in a world apparently gone seriously haywire lately, we all could use a little good news, eh?

Per the Montreal Gazette (and, A Blog About History):

A dozen of scientists and David Bershad, an art history professor at St. Mary’s University College, agree. The image of a man with blue eyes, long greying hair and a moustache appears to be a self-portrait of the renowned Renaissance artist, inventor and thinker.

Coming to that conclusion brought together da Vinci’s own passions for art and science as experts used fingerprint analysis, carbon dating and even facial reconstruction software to answer three key questions:

• Does the painting date from the right time period?
• Is it a portrait of da Vinci?
• And, was it painted by the master himself?

“I believe it’s a Leonardo,” Bershad said Tuesday, the day after returning from Italy, where he was able to look at the portrait in person. “It’s exciting to come to that conclusion.”

Bershad was the lone art historian — and sole North American — asked to help assess the authenticity of the portrait, which was discovered in 2009 by a medieval historian studying the art collection of a family in Acerenza, a town in southern Italy.

Now, do you want to see what the Master looked like? The face behind the consummate artist, scientist, tinkerer and the person who gave us the "Renaissance Man"?

Perhaps the smartest man to ever live...and this is what he thought he saw in the mirror.

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Locks of Love? Psssh...

 All I want for Christmas is a fresh wig...oh, and to not have cancer.*

Everyone is familiar with "Locks of Love", the program whereby people take 5 inches or more of their hair and donate it to wig companies so that chemo patients won't get gawked at (having had lymphoma, and undergone chemo myself, this sucks enough without people staring at you)*.

However, this charitable act is not all that hair is good for. Hair is also adsorbent, meaning that -unlike a sponge which sucks up fluids- hair attracts oils to it. This is particularly awesome for things such as picking up scumbags at the bowling alley, preventing flirtatious behavior during finals, and, uh...cleaning up one of the worst environmental calamities of the modern era.
 

 "Business in the front; party in the back...and eco-warrior all over bitches".

According to the BBC, because the hair is molecularly spiky, oils and other materials naturally cling to it. The hair is thrown in mesh bags, and then creates "booms" which attracts oils. This means that theoretically if you dump enough of it into the Louisiana BP spill, the hair should attract most of the oil to it leaving, I guess, the worlds nastiest, heaviest hairball to clean up. Actually, I wish it were that simple, the true answer is a bit more vile...

But what happens to all the oil-soaked hair? Among the options tried by the charity include feeding the whole mess to worms to break down into fertiliser.

W

We just pooped out your $200 cut-n-dye...

Anyway, help out the fragile Gulf ecosystem and check out the BBC article on how to create, and ship, your boom. Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana will thank you, your kids and grandkids will thank you, and, more importantly, we won't have to sic this guy on you...

Cousin It will totally fuck you up...

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*Before you email me telling me I'm going to hell, you should read the next paragraph...

** Seriously, you should think about donating those ratty split ends, if you're reading this...

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