Kejar ptp

...yes, I know it's not Wednesday, but this week has been so shitty, I want it gone already. Banished, I say!

I love this one.

Probably b/c of the sweet car, and the fact that she reminds me some of the Fetching Frau Schatten.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Happy Wednesday...

and, it's about a full century old than anyone thought.

Kegger?

Let me back up for a second. Life is full of conspiratorial nutjobs chasing grumkins and snarks in the shadows, and looking for hidden wisdom and "ancient astronomers"; healing crystals and magic pyramids, where frankly no evidence exists to support these wild claims (like, for instance, unschooling).

But, occasionally, nature or accidents of history churn out something so freaky, so bizarre and mysterious that it begs to be explored.

Such is the case of the Voynich Manuscript.

What is the Manuscript? Good question, no one really knows. And the reason that no one knows is because it describes plants and animals that do not exist, in strange milieus unknown in 15th Century Europe. And, worst of all, is a a language that we cannot read, cannot decipher, yet is incredibly consistent throughout. And, it's illuminated and illustrated.

Looks like Friday at my house...

Let the good ole' Wiki explain the linguistic style of this one:

The text consists of over 170,000 discrete glyphs, usually separated from each other by narrow gaps. Most of the glyphs are written with one or two simple pen strokes. While there is some dispute as to whether certain glyphs are distinct or not, an alphabet with 20–30 glyphs would account for virtually all of the text; the exceptions are a few dozen rarer characters that occur only once or twice each.
Wider gaps divide the text into about 35,000 "words" of varying length.

These seem to follow phonological or orthographic laws of some sort e.g. certain characters must appear in each word (like English vowels), some characters never follow others, some may be doubled or tripled but others may not, etc.

And, the subject matter:

The illustrations of the manuscript shed little light on the precise nature of its text but imply that the book consists of six "sections", with different styles and subject matter. Except for the last section, which contains only text, almost every page contains at least one illustration. Following are the sections and their conventional names:
Herbal
Each page displays one plant (sometimes two) and a few paragraphs of text—a format typical of European herbals of the time. Some parts of these drawings are larger and cleaner copies of sketches seen in the "pharmaceutical" section (below). None of the plants depicted are unambiguously identifiable.

Astronomical
Contains circular diagrams, some of them with suns, moons, and stars, suggestive of astronomy or astrology. One series of 12 diagrams depicts conventional symbols for the zodiacal constellations (two fish for Pisces, a bull for Taurus, a hunter with crossbow for Sagittarius, etc.). Each of these has 30 women figures arranged in two or more concentric bands. Most of the females are at least partly naked, and each holds what appears to be a labeled star or is shown with the star attached by what could be a tether or cord of some kind to either arm. The last two pages of this section (Aquarius and Capricornus, roughly January and February) were lost, while Aries and Taurus are split into four paired diagrams with 15 women and 15 stars each. Some of these diagrams are on fold-out pages.

Biological
A dense continuous text interspersed with figures, mostly showing small naked women bathing in pools or tubs connected by an elaborate network of pipes, some of them clearly shaped like body organs. Some of the women wear crowns.

Cosmological
More circular diagrams, but of an obscure nature. This section also has foldouts; one of them spans six pages and contains a map or diagram, with nine "islands" connected by "causeways", castles, and what may be a volcano.

Pharmaceutical
Many labeled drawings of isolated plant parts (roots, leaves, etc.); objects resembling apothecary jars drawn along the margins; and a few text paragraphs.

Recipes
Many short paragraphs, each marked with a flower- or star-like "bullet".

Pharmacopiea? Madman's rantings? Who knows....

So, know one knows who wrote this tome, what language it's in, why there are plants from the New World in a 15th Century manuscript, much less how cellular anatomy came into play.

But, at least now, thanks to Carbon 14-Isotope dating, we do, in fact, know when it was written: drumroll please....

According to Physorg

University of Arizona researchers have cracked one of the puzzles surrounding what has been called "the world's most mysterious manuscript" – the Voynich manuscript, a book filled with drawings and writings nobody has been able to make sense of to this day.

Using radiocarbon dating, a team led by Greg Hodgins in the UA's department of physics has found the manuscript's parchment pages date back to the early 15th century, making the book a century older than scholars had previously thought. (specifically 1404-1438).

Again, we have no idea what its purpose was, but as one of the Ariz. U profs conjectures, and I think it's just as likely as any other reason:

"The text shows strange characteristics like repetitive word use or the exchange of one letter in a sequence," he says. "Oddities like that make it really hard to understand the meaning."

"There are types of ciphers that embed meaning within gibberish. So it is possible that most of it does mean nothing. There is an old cipher method where you have a sheet of paper with strategically placed holes in it. And when those holes are laid on top of the writing, you read the letters in those holes."

"Who knows what's being written about in this manuscript, but it appears to be dealing with a range of topics that might relate to alchemy. Secrecy is sometimes associated with alchemy, and so it would be consistent with that tradition if the knowledge contained in the book was encoded. What we have are the drawings.

Just look at those drawings: Are they botanical? Are they marine organisms? Are they astrological? Nobody knows."

I'm sticking with alchemy...

Anyway, just an awesome little piece of news about one of the most awesome, mysterious objects on the planet today.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Voynich Manuscript has a Birthday...

Alas, we are reaching the end of the Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures; those items for the discerning Goth-Professional, all priced at or under $30. I've tried to hit all phases of the milieu: clothing, accessories, liquor, smokes, beauty, sex toys, hair dyes, entertainment etc, just things to pamper yourself or a loved one.

So, let's get to it, shall we, featuring the last of the non-difficult letters of the alphabet. In the meanwhile, A-D is here; while E-J lurks in these shadows; and you can unearth K-O by going to this crypt.

~~Patricia Day~~ Punkabilly Barbie

It's what I get for hooking up with a psychobilly chick. Predictably, the Horrorpops are one of her all-time favorite bands...

I do not own this doll; nor does the long-suffering Fetching Frau Schatten own this. However, her birthday is coming up, and I fully intend to purchase this item for her. Technically it's just a "rocker" Barbie (tm). However, it does not take too much imagination (or eyesight) to see that this was modeled after the Horrorpops' Patricia Day. So much so, in fact, that the lovely Mrs. Nekroman sued Mattel over it. Get it at TIAS.com for exactly $30, before it's the subject of a permanent injunction.

Nope, no resemblances there.

~~Not even down to the hearts and blue birds...~~

QNTAL:

Simply stated, if you've never heard Qntl, you're missing out on some of the loveliest darkwave this side of Faith and the Muse. Hailing from Germany, this medieval electronica evokes spanning shires, a quiet sexiness, and -- especially for that softer side in you, or for that special lady in your life -- is some of the most "feminine" gothic music being made today.

Entre moi et mon amin.

Be prepared for a linguistic warm-up, though, silly Americans. They are damned lingual, with tracks in High German, French, Latin, Italian and English. It's also very hard to find in most cities, but can be purchased/located at Euro Amazon for about $16 Euros ($27) per album.

Rick R. Reed

Der Schatten knows that not all of you are purely hetero-normative. That's cool. Not my thing, but then again, unless I'm the fuckee, whomever folks choose to share their genitals with is actually pretty banal fare. And, just because one swings for the fences or sword fights, doesn't mean that a lil' dungeon play can't be added to spice up your sex life/inner fantasy.

To that end, I give you Rick R. Reed, probably the most well-known of the Gay BDSM authors out there. But, oh no, it's not just kink. The man is the Stephen King/Barker of Gay Kink Horror (although, I think the comparison to Thomas Harris is probably more apt).

Obssessed, Available at Abebooks for about $25 w/shipping, is by far the darkest one.

"I kill, therefore I am Voices slam through the corridor of his wounded mind. The words of his dead sister cry out."

Seven Samurai (Collector's Edition)

Akira Kurosawa's 1954 masterpiece, and deservedly one of the top 100 films of all-time, Seven Samurai is like the Bible...you cannot be truly culturally literate until you've spent three hours meditating upon the bygone feudal Japan, from the mindset of a post-war Japanese director. Comradery, honor, bravery, and protecting weaker for nothing more than a little food, and the knowledge of a job well-done. It doesn't get much better than this.

$22.99 at eBay.
Or, instant queue with your Netflix Subscription.

Tramadol

The wonder drug that works wonders. Technically a non-opiate painkiller, it is very effective in that role. For those dealing with chronic pains, aches, nagging issues, you can't beat it. It's non-sedating, non-euphoric (usually), and possesses an exceptionally low dependency threshold.

Even better, it's got some nice off-label uses as well; particularly for anxiety, depression (one of the metabolites is an SSRI), and restless leg syndrome. At peak plasma level it also provides a sound night's sleep.

Best part? It's not a controlled substance. You can buy this shit off the internet for about $27/monthly supply (do your own Google searches, people!).

Better living through chemistry....

We'll wrap it up next week, folks. Until then, consume!

READ MORE » Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: P-T

Too much drama on Mondays. Speaking of which, please take this moment to enjoy the softer side of your author, as he enjoys the splendid Human Drama's, "Madame Hate's Mad Search for Love".

In fairness, we're all a little desperate...

-d.s.

READ MORE » Monday, why must you be here already?

From Der Schatten and the Fetching Frau Schatten, Merry Christmas: Like I said a few days ago, belief or proper denomination is not required to enjoy a paid State and Federal holiday; to eat well; to visit with family and friends, and just generally to enjoy the company of loved ones. (And presents...don't forget, everyone likes getting new shit!).

See you boils and ghouls in a few days, until then, let's have some punk mood music as you tuck into that first glass of booze and watch "A Christmas Story" for the fourth time today.

The Vandals' 1996 Christmas Classic "Oi to the World", with the title track for you...

Give back to the one who's always been there for you: "Christmas Time For My Penis"

"Grandpa's Last Christmas": Be nice; they'll soon be dead.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Merry Christmas/Happy Saturnalia

You know the drill: Items under $30 which anyone on a budget can use to themselves.

Yesterday, we ran through Audible books, Chardonnays, Djarum Blacks, Badger shaving brushes. Today, we'll cover a bit more ground. After all, this is not just a self-love primer, but may also provide some gift ideas to those of you with a (not-so) secret aesthete in your lives...Even better: you won't break the bank.

Eternity Shower Gel (for the guys)

Your author has serious problem with a lot of fragrances; the vast majority of scents are too abrasive, too artificial, and don't enhance body chemistry and pheremones very well. One notable exception is Calvin Klein, who does a great job with colognes for men that are rich, subtle, smell like a guy, and a class-act at that; not a truck-stop goon splashed in Brut. My personal fave is Eternity. Not just the cologne (about $50 for 2 ozs), but also the bath gels which transform even hungover louts into an all-day, olifactory sex machine. Priced nicely at $27.50 for a 2.5 oz bottle, it will last months.

Feria Starry Night by Loreal

This is the holy grail of all blue-black, Level 3, hair dyes. The color is sumptuous, rich, shiny, healthy and -surprisingly- not as fake looking as one would expect for an OTC hair dye that has so much blue sheen underneath it. Also, even for an ammonia-based product, it is gentle on the scalp and roots. While I am pretty much consigned to Natural Match these days (when I have the chance or time to do so), I cannot recommend this product enough for the discerning Goth. Priced between $11-$19, and worth every penny.

Gun Oil Lube (for that special lady).

Let's be adults here for a second: sex is natural, fun, cheap, enjoyable, invaluable to our mental, emotional and physical well-being, and is the "canary in the mine" for relationships. So, we need to discuss when exhaustion, mental or physical concerns, aging, or good ole' mother nature is not fully cooperative. What happens then? Try this: Gun Oil Lube, a silicone-based, non-irritating lubricant that is hands down the very finest one on the market...for a variety of applications. Will not interfere with condoms, most toys, or do bad things to your special parts. Non-scented, and easily the least viscous surface on the planet. They must use this stuff to grease microprocessor parts. It is that good...and a little bit goes a long way without worrying about constant reapplication...even if engaged in por anus sexual contact.

It sadly is expensive. For $30, you can probably afford the 4 oz bottle, although I have seen the 16 oz version on sale at Amazon for about $35 (regularly well over $50). Seriously, if you buy one thing off the Alphabetical, make it Gun Oil...you can thank me later.

Hermes Neckties

This French tie manufacturer is a secret gem to those who love good neckwear. While not as expensive (usually) as Hugo Boss, you can find some Hermes products that range well over $100. However, the classic Hermes red power tie is a must for any professional's wardrobe, and, for exactly $29.99 online at iOffer, it meets our $30 criteria too. If you're really lucky, you can find occasional lots of these badboys on eBay for about $25 per tie/per lot.

Classic Hermes red power tie...every man should own at least four such power ties, and you can't go wrong with the Hermes label.

Itunes

Free. Absolutely, 100% free. Infinitely expandable. Categorically brilliant in its organization, and fully cross platform. This is a true gift; from streaming m3u's (such as GothMetal.net) to powerful file conversion, to organization that makes my OCD heart flutter, to CD/DVD labeling and design, to a wealth of free streaming content, to the powerful app and iTunes stores; this baby does it all. Go take a look around this ubiquitous application, realize how very little resources it requires for all that it is, and can do. Then marvel that it is free. iTunes makes me a better person (well, at least a happier one).

Jisatsu Circle

Right up front: This isn't for everyone. This is a dark, damned depressing, damned violent manga about life and stress in Japan schools; and unrelated (seemingly) suicides. There was an award-winning, ground-breaking (but nauseating) film better known as Suicide Club, which may actually be more depraved than the 6-issue manga. Suicides. Lots and lots of suicides. The gorier the better. Nevertheless this is a suspenseful WTF read, and for fans of horror-mystery, you could (and would) do far worse than this foray into the macabre. Splatter fans, particularly, will love the movie. Incidentally, the film is $14.99 from Movies Unlimited; the Mangas are priced at $13.50 per on YesAsia.

Told ya'....not for everyone.

Incidentally, Part One of the Alphabetical is here.

Happy bargain hunting.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: E-J

So, this morning, my iPod randomly played one of the most unheralded, yet powerful, bands I've heard in my three decades on the mortal coil: Canaan.

You may have heard of their original act, Ras Algethi. Named after an Arabic star, Oneiricon - The White Hypnotic, is so ridiculously hard to find that you wouldn't believe it. But if you can, sell a kidney to a sketchy Thai prostitute to get this one! (or, send me an email, and I'll rip you a copy, DMRC be damned).

Anyway, following the demise of Ras Algethi, the Italian Berbers who comprised the group resurfaced in Italy, their home land, under a new name: Canaan. The music is much the same as Ras Algethi: Transcendentalist, Atmospheric, Gothic Doom Rock.

In short, they are the one, and only, band I've ever heard that sounds like this. And, Loki bless 'em for that. More importantly, bless Loki that someone else in YouTube land has heard them! Enjoy, won't you?

Please enjoy them, as well as my recommendations to enhance your listening pleasure.

Canaan's Grey...

Shadow Recommends: Grey Goose and sullen masturbation in a dawning sky.

* * *

A Magic Farewell...

Shadow Recommends: Klonipin & luke warm black coffee

* * *

Ghosts of Betrayal...

Shadow recommends: Speedball & grits; you've hit rock bottom.

-d.s.

READ MORE » Wednesday is SO VERY excited about this tripleheader...

Absolutely awe-inducing. Sublime. Awesome. Powerful. Transcendent. Majestic. Terrifying.

Whatever adjectives you can conjure neither they, nor these photographs by Sean Heavey (Glasgow, Montana) can do justice to the power and majesty of nature's fury unleashed. These images are of the phenomenon known as a "supercell", a tornadic strength thunderstorm that drop out of the sky and wreak untold damage and horror.

Having lived through a few of these in the South, they are terrifying and awesome to behold. Mr. Heavey's photos, and the subsequent story in the Daily Mail (UK), are splendid.

Click for full-size pants-wetting.

Anyone else reminded of Nivens' classic "Mote in God's Eye"?

Seriously, go check out the Daily Mail's full story and many, many more images. Well worth your time.

-d.s.

READ MORE » To heal a broken heart...

This song is absolutely hilarious...I've gotten it stuck in the heads of at least three people this week, and now, it is my most devout wish to increase that number. Enjoy the 'Gang's brilliance.

Lookie! Chasey Lain!

Sure, as BHG rightly notes, her breasts are nice, but I groove on the toussled hair and eyes. She shoulda' been in Playboy, not schtuppin' Mr. Marcus. The upside, I suppose, is that she was really big into girl-on-girl flicks.

We all win.

.

READ MORE » Thursday has Chasey Lain on the brain...

Last week, I detailed my love of ladies from Charles in Charge, the Dukes of Hazzard, Wonder Woman, and various other bad viewing. Today, I take a look at the girls who were closer to my age, whom I lusted after with equal zeal, only in a sorta' more realistic way:

Dana Plato: Diff'rent Strokes

She was my number one love and lust through childhood, combining equal parts devil and sultry (for a 14 year old, in any event), as well as any and ever bad 80s meme that came down the pipe: perms, overalls, Swatches, friendship bracelets, acid-washed skinny jeans. No one else on my list was a purer child of the 80s.

How I will always remember Dana; Audrey Hepburn eyes, angelic face...and bad hair...

When you're 12, the whole teen-prostitute, roller-derby queen bit was fun to look at as well....

Dana grew up, became a super hottie, appeared in Playboy, and, sadly, after two decades of drug addiction and arrests, passed away in 1999. Requiem Aeternum, Dana.

Alyssa Milano: Who's the Boss

Alyssa requires no introduction, being one of the most devilishly sexy women currently alive; however, there were signs that this could happen, even when she was 14, and having her career stymied by Tony-freaking-Danza.

Yea, pretty much makes the surface of the sun feel like Fargo by comparison...

And, like Dana, she screamed "pure sin" to this preteen heart....only she had none of Plato's "girl next door" thing going for her. Rather, she was a dynamo waiting to mature, or so I thought...

You know what? My instincts on this one were so very, very good. For those seeking something a bit more prurient, there are enough NSFW photos to suffice it to say the 37 year old has taken her clothes off...a lot. (God bless her).

Nancy McKeon: "Jo" from Facts of Life

I do love the brunettes, and I do adore some cute tomboys, the character of Jo was seemingly the only one with any depth or humanity on that show...and, she was always in the background of Mindy or Tooty or the god-forsaken ditzy blonde. Of all my fantasies, this would have been the one I would have most liked to go have a beer with, and just chill...

Here she is today, a very elegant, still-striking, and very much a put-together, attractive woman. Instincts win again...You could see yourself marrying this one...

Sporting equipment, fixing motorcycles, suckerpunching Blair...was there anything she couldn't do? And, look at that smile. Dazzling. Of course, being a prepubescent hornball, I was very much interested in what she would look like without clothing, or scantily clad....

While that never happened, we did get the pleasure of watching the cute, but-awkward tomboy blossom into one very attractive young ladt. Thanks Jo!

.

READ MORE » 80s Childhood Fantasies, Part the Second

As I told you Monday, Wonder Woman was a constant in my young life...any reason why?!

According to the folks at IO9, Wonder Woman is due for a massive, significantly darker, series of tales which will explore all of those issues that are (or should have been) massive undercurrents to this femme fatale. In an on-stage appearance with clive Barker (HOLY SHIT! CLIVE BARKER!), Grant Robinson, had this to say about our favorite Amazon

The basics of Wonder Woman come from William Moulton Marston, a psychologist who created the lie detector, of all things. His idea was that a utopia would be achieved if men were placed in subjugation to women. So, Wonder Woman is a character where you imagine this very strange mélange of girl power, bondage, and a slightly disturbed sexuality. There is this bondage element; these extremely weird dark elements of Wonder Woman haven't been adequately dealt with. Wonder Woman remains a really bizarre, untouchable character.

This is fabulous news, not only for the fan bois and comic lovers, but to we perverts who prefer some encounters to have the edge of power, to be a bit more twisted, to certainly be more time consuming, and ultimately, to have aesthetic gilt....

Shibari anyone?

.

READ MORE » Wonder Woman's worst kept secret...

Even as a child, I had a healthy dose of adrenaline-driven heterosexuality. Fortunately, I was a pure child of the '80s, and, as everyone knows, the 80s had some of the best big-haired, blue-eyeshadowed, permed chicks, ever; sporting their overalls and red plaids, and bouffant pants with Swatch watches. Ahhh, warms my dark little heart.

I am pleased to report that, although my vision has weakened, I am not yet blinded...

But, where was a young lad to get his fix? I lived deep in the Appalachian Mountains, and, even when moving to Alabama, those first few years were largely spent in the boonies atop Lookout Mountain. Accordingly, there just weren't a lot of women around, particularly those that could provide the visual stimulation I needed. Like so many things in life, thank the gods for television...No matter what, the electric glow of sex was just one after school special away...

This is one of those things that's too horrifying to not share, so without further ado, I give you the 80s girls that got me through those formative years.

Nicole Eggert: Charles in Charge

You could tell she was going to be hot from the git-go...

Sweet Summer Powell, one of the few blondes on this list, was one of the very few 80s television icons to just scream "three drinks, and I'll have a threesome". As a result, she always ranked very high in my mental dossier. Eggert, for those living in a cage, went on to take off a lot of her clothes about a decade later in Baywatch. For my money, I never understood what the hell she was doing with those dorks on Charles in Charge....

...and she damn sure was a hottie.

Some decidedly NSFW pics are out there too, which only affirms what I maintained when I was 12: Three Drinks.

Linda Carter: Wonder Woman

By far the prettiest of the 80s luminaries...

Linda Carter was, is, and shall always be Wonder Woman. I don't mean that as in "she's associated with the character". I mean that until the day that I day, I will believe in an Amazon, with an invisible jet, a kick-ass mind control lasso, and one stunningly beautiful brunette in a gold-red vinyl bathing suit. The 80s may have given us a lot of horseshit, but they also gave us Linda Carter roping guys close to her, talking tough, with her breasts defying gravity and the FCC censors...

Damn. Just damn.

Catherine Bach, Dukes of Hazzard

Jorts have never been this sexy...

If Wonder Woman was my dark dominatrix, and Summer was hoped-for college fling, then Daisy Duke was what I wanted my neighbors to look like. It required almost nothing for Catherine Bach to hoist her breasts up into a tied off flannel shirt and put on the least concealing denim shorts known to man. Interestingly enough, although I lived a scant 15 miles from North Georgia, no one I knew dressed this way...although, life would have been a damn-sight better if they had...

You gotta' think that she never got a ticket...ever.

Up next, Part Two, in which I shamelessly reveal those closer to my own age...

.

READ MORE » 80s Childhood Fantasies: Part One

Kejar ptp

Happy Wednesday...

Voynich Manuscript has a Birthday...

Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: P-T

Monday, why must you be here already?

Merry Christmas/Happy Saturnalia

Alphabetical of Simple Pleasures: E-J

Wednesday is SO VERY excited about this tripleheader...

Sublime.

Stoya: Goth Fetish Actress & Model (SFW)

Money: Wherein I discover very bad things about my partner

Pissing matches make great beer...

To heal a broken heart...

Thursday has Chasey Lain on the brain...

80s Childhood Fantasies, Part the Second

Wonder Woman's worst kept secret...

80s Childhood Fantasies: Part One

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