Showing posts with label die peasant die. Show all posts
Showing posts with label die peasant die. Show all posts

Ready for an infuriating story?

After a 3000 mile chase, Chief Joseph is ready for anything...



Say hello to Bryan Fischer, Communications and Policy wonk at The American Family Association, a paleolithic Right-wing organization so hard-bit by the crazy, so fundamentally rotten with fascistic Christian racism that it, quite frankly, defies description.

How crazy? How racist? How Christo-fascistic?  Let his own words, at the AFA Blog, do the talking

The Amorites, or Canaanite peoples, practiced one moral abomination after another, whether it was incest, adultery, sexual immorality, homosexuality, bestiality or child sacrifice, and God finally said “Enough!”


By the time he brought the nascent nation of Israel to the borders of the land flowing with milk and honey, he had already been patient with the native tribes for 400 years, waiting for them to come to the place of repentance for their socially and spiritually degrading practices.




Hmmm...Sounds good. Please go on, Mr. Fischer.




Okay, Fischer, we get it. You don't like Jews and clearly believe that everything got prior to the theft of Palestine foundation of Israel was on their own heads. But, what the fuck does that have to do with us?

The native American tribes at the time of the European settlement and founding of the United States were, virtually without exception, steeped in the basest forms of superstition, had been guilty of savagery in warfare for hundreds of years, and practiced the most debased forms of sexuality.


Huh?


Many of the tribal reservations today remain mired in poverty and alcoholism because many native Americans continue to cling to the darkness of indigenous superstition instead of coming into the light of Christianity and assimilating into Christian culture.



What?



Sadly, this column will likely generate a firestorm of nuclear proportions among wingers on the left rather than the thoughtful reflection the thesis deserves.



Holy. Shit.






So, now we have clearly deranged, mentally unstable, militant Dominionist, Nazi-clones telling us to give their vile screed "thoughtful reflection". Okay, Fischer, here's the thoughtful reflection you deserve, also from an alleged man of God, Fr. Bartolome De Las Casas, who traveled with the Spanish progenitors of the genocide inflicted on MesoAmerican Indians. 

These are the actions of the "enlightening" Christians that Fischer would have us emulate.


  • And never have the Indians in all the Indies committed any act against the Spanish Christians, until those Christians have first and many times committed countless cruel aggressions against them or against neighboring nations.
  • We can estimate very surely and truthfully that in the forty years that have passed, with the infernal actions of the Christians, there have been unjustly slain more than twelve million men, women, and children. In truth, I believe without trying to deceive myself that the number of the slain is more like fifteen million.
  • After the wars and the killings had ended, when usually there survived only some boys, some women, and children, these survivors were distributed among the Christians to be slaves.
  • These people are the most devoid of rancors, hatreds, or desire for vengeance of any people in the world.
  • Their reason for killing and destroying such an infinite number of souls is that the Christians have an ultimate aim, which is to acquire gold, and to swell themselves with riches in a very brief time and thus rise to a high estate disproportionate to their merits.
  • They attacked the towns and spared neither the children nor the aged nor pregnant women nor women in childbed, not only stabbing them and dismembering them but cutting them to pieces as if dealing with sheep in the slaughter house.
  • They made some low wide gallows on which the hanged victim's feet almost touched the ground, stringing up their victims in lots of thirteen, in memory of Our Redeemer and His twelve Apostles, then set burning wood at their feet and thus burned them alive.
  • They made a grid of rods which they placed on forked sticks, then lashed the victims to the grid and lighted a smoldering fire underneath, so that little by little, as those captives screamed in despair and torment, their souls would leave them.


So, Mr. Fischer, we've been down this road before. We've seen what happens when we yield to the temptation of "assimiliation" and the cheap murderous, totalitarian thrills of a "Christian Nation".


Please, die horribly, painfully and slowly now.




Perhaps by being given to priests?







-d.s. 
READ MORE » Ready for an infuriating story?

Tuesday's gotta' do better.

Yesterday may have been one of the least explicable days in my life. 'Real life intrudes' does not do it justice, as Monday turned from merely bad into potentially one of the most stressful days of my adult life.


As usual, Pete & the Bums from Staten Island nail it...
Type O Negative's "I don't wanna' be me (anymore)"


For what it's worth, I still can't believe Peter Steele is dead. His absence has left a void in the music world. Certainly not a hero or a role model (hell, probably not even a decent guy), but he brought something to the table sadly missing --originality and earnestness.
October Rust remains one of my five favorite albums, without a doubt.



-d.s.
READ MORE » Tuesday's gotta' do better.

Hunger Hurts, But Starving Works...

Sounds like a Neil Gaiman quote from one of his more memorable characters (Sable a/k/a Famine from Good Omens). Alas, those were not spoken by him, but by one of these manufactured "reality" television "celebrities" from the UK, Kenneth Tong.




"The words lunch, breakfast, and dinner should now mean nothing to you, you have eaten enough for a lifetime. Stop. You are disgusting."
You know what else is disgusting? Kenneth Tong


The full interview, available on Huff Po by Johann Hart, is a textbook display in misogyny and sociopathy, but this little excerpt should clue you in on what you're dealing with:


"Why concern yourself with other people's problems?... When I had problems, who was there for me?" He says that being a sociopath is a good thing - it "can make you highly successful in business, and I am going to make a fortune with my Size Zero pill."
****
Ah, the Size Zero pill. Tong tells me that fat women are "disgusting", and any woman over a Size Zero is fat and therefore "worthless." (Men are different: men only have to be rich.) He leans forward, and says evangelically that all women should become "managed anorexics", and his pill will make it possible. I ask him which doctors and scientific studies he has consulted to make his claims. After a long pause, he says: "Um... I've had personal trainers since I was twelve." Kenneth, personal trainers aren't doctors. What medical personnel have you consulted? He says he spoke to the doctor in his gym when he hurt his hand. What's his name? "I don't know." What did he say? "He said 'Mmmm, yeah, all right'."
****
But he then adds this doesn't matter because anorexia is a "subjective" concept.



 You know what else is a "subjective concept", Kenneth? Active Euthanasia and Suicide.
Choose one.

Perhaps the most disturbing thing this fucktwit has to say, and probably the only honest one, is that he is totally, 100% untouchable. Per Mr. Tong

"Truthfully, when you are as wealthy as I am, you can say, do and think anything without penalty, as you have no one to be accountable to."


And you know what? He's right. Zero is the new 4 in Tong's world. Managed Aneroxia (a term he coined himself) can be accomplished. And all those crappy, disposable women out there, can just get with the program, because they are too mouthy, too deceitful, too fat for Kenneth Tong.




Okay, Kenneth, since you're so qualified to judge people let's discuss a few things you could work on...it's only fair.
1. Your lips appear to have been wrapped around a few cocks too many
2. Whomever you paid to shit on your hair did a terrific job
3. "loaded" people can afford LASIK
4. Real mean work on shoulders, not just arms and neck
5. Your hairline is receding
6. Considering you're a 5'4" Chinese man, it appears as though you're dipping into the HGH, in any event.


h/t Monkeygirl.





-d.s.
READ MORE » Hunger Hurts, But Starving Works...

Saddest thing you'll read today...

...in a deeply, nation-questioning, existential way. This isn't about politics, per se,  more it is about the calamity that our fraudulent FIRE* economy has wrought on those who aren't beneficiaries of those sectors.




Trust me, it'll make sense in a bit...



The wife of the man who held a Florida school board at gunpoint said Wednesday that her husband was a gentle giant who was pushed over the edge by the economy and frustrated over her losing her teaching job.

"He wanted to get me an answer," Rebecca Duke said a day after her husband, Clay Duke, killed himself. He shot at school board members in Panama City, missing some of them by mere inches, before he exchanged gunfire with a security guard. As he lay on the floor in the boardroom, he shot himself to death in the head.



Sounds like just a gun-crazed, anti-gub'mint 'winger, doesn't it? Someone who hates the Man, and just went off the deep end?

Well, he did go off the deep end, but not for the reasons you'd think: It wasn't a product of random hatred, or a tax-protestin' conspiracy nut, or a ranting unhinged man...his were the actions of desperation that our society has created in the burgeoning underclass...


"The economy and the world just got the better of him," Rebecca Duke said in a rambling press conference to talk about the man she loved.

There's more at the Miami Herald (I particularly enjoy trying to paint a despondent, broken man as a random lunatic, while ignoring the substance of what makes a man walk into a building and try to shoot those who fired his wife).

I am not for one instant condoning his actions, and am greatful that the body count was just one. However, I am deeply saddened that the country has fallen into such a balkanized state of haves and have nots such that violence seems the only way to respond. When you play by the rules, yet our bullshit illusory economy continues to shit on you, when our policy makers are blind, deaf and clinically fucking sociopathic, there is left nothing but a hollow, often-misplaced, impotent rage. 
And he felt it in spades.


[he] apparently created a Facebook page last week that refers to class warfare and is laced with images from the movie "V for Vendetta," in which a mysterious figure battles a totalitarian government.


So, America. Everyone is too big to fail except for we, the people; all 370 million of us who are extorted, cajoled, imprisoned and indebted by at least 40% of our income to pay for those privileged few. These weren't the first shots of a class war; the class war has been waged for a while now. However, these may be the first actual shots that will wake people up, and pay attention to the seething frustrations in our world. Ours is rapidly approaching a failed state, where the only thing keeping the minions in line is agitprop and the not-inconsiderate state violence inflicted on our citizens through a militarized police force.




Grab the popcorn...




The final lines are chilling: 
 
"My testament: Some people (the government sponsored media) will say I was evil, a monster (V) ... no ... I was just born poor in a country where the Wealthy manipulate, use, abuse, and economically enslave 95 percent of the population. Rich Republicans, Rich Democrats ... same-same ... rich ... they take turns fleecing us ... our few dollars ... pyramiding the wealth for themselves."


-d.s.
* FIRE, incidentally, refers to the sham "wealth" and prosperity that has fueled the economic machine for the past two and a half decades: Finance, Insurance, Real Estate. Much, much more to come on this when I get a few good hours.

READ MORE » Saddest thing you'll read today...

Perhaps Boston University and Columbia University could read the law?

"Legal administrators" should read the law that they cite when bullying students in an attempt to discourage discussions of the Wikileak cables.

The letter sent from BU administrators to law students (and ditto at Columbia), referenced
Executive Order 13526.

Well, what does the prefatory language of the Order state?

Sec. 1.7. Classification Prohibitions and Limitations.
(a) In no case shall information be classified, continue to be maintained as classified, or fail to be declassified in order to:
(1) conceal violations of law, inefficiency, or administrative error;

(2) prevent embarrassment to a person, organization, or agency;

(3) restrain competition; or

(4) prevent or delay the release of information that does not require protection in the interest of the national security.

What do we know right now? Some illegal actions, such as contractors paying for boy prostitutes in Afghanistan/Clinton spying and obtaining UN employees' DNA. We know some embarrassing things, such our "partners" in the Middle East aren't worth a shit: from Israel to Saudi Arabia to Pakistan.

What then is the logic of classifying these documents, when, by the terms of the Executive Order used to threaten students, there simply does not appear to be a "national security" perogative? There's not; that's why. It's just the shibboleth invoked by a lazy, secretive government hell-bent on lying to us.

We are not mushrooms: You can't keep us in the dark and feed us shit.
READ MORE » Perhaps Boston University and Columbia University could read the law?

Welcome to the "first serious infowar"

Happy Sunday: I don't usually post on the weekend, but it's too hot for golfing --yes, I do that because it's fun, and, I love sanctioned drinking and driving. And, I am really kind of worried about my world. I apologize in advance for the length of this, as I usually just get in/get out, and then let you minions sort out the meaning of it all, on your own, in an uncaring silent Universe (Hey! I didn't realize that I might be God?!).

If being bummed/frightened/unsettled isn't your thing, then please accept this offer of boobies...there's many more on this site, I promise, Otherwise, enjoy the offering of boobies then proceed.



 We can all agree that boobies make everything better, right?


Welcome to the first serious info-war.

Does that sound like Alex Jones' craziness? I admit, it does to me. However, that statement is not the histrionics of a conspiracy-obsessed blogger. No, this seeming bit of hyperventilation comes to us via Electronic Freedom Frontier (EFF) president, John Perry Barlow, who stated that "the first serious infowar has been engaged", referring of course to the administrative, corporate and governmental response to the Wikileak'd cables.

The effect of this statement is staggering. EFF is not a fringe 9/11 truth-er movement, or a tea-bag rightist fantasy camp. No, EFF is a well-respected major player in the realms of electronic privacy advocacy and all other issues affecting the intersection between humanity and computing. They bring suit, complaints and file amici on everything from eBay TOS to DMCR to extra-governmental snooping in your bank records, to the RIAA's punitive allegations of file-sharing and copyright. Barlow's release, then, is akin to the ACLU telling all 374 million of us that Congress has declared a literal war on American citizens and their rights. (In fairness, Barlow has issued some awfully hyperbolic statements before, but this one on behalf of EFF, is professional, not personal).



Okay, we get your point; we should be paying attention.



What is this info-war? Specifically, it's the war being waged on Wikileaks, a non-profit entity, by some of the most powerful nations on the planet, some of the largest online businesses, right down to the smallest DNS providers. Here's the rundown:

November 28, Wikileaks begins to release cables from the U.S. functionaries, containing highly embarrassing name-calling by diplomats, and revealing other embarrassing "secrets", such as Pakistan is close to a failed state, Saudis admit their citizens bankroll terrorists, Merkel doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground, Sarkoszy is thin-skinned French wanker, the Russian mob and the Italian mafia are in cahoots, Putin and Buerlusconi are as crooked as the day is long. To which one can only say "No shit. We already knew this stuff". Anyone who reads the major papers of records such as PakTimes, NY Times, Pravda, BBC News, Le Monde, etc could have told you all of this...without blinking.

Yet, this information is deemed "damaging". And, that same day so-called "massive" denial of service attacks, effectively shutting down the site's Swedish servers. Private hackers and hacktivists have claimed credit for the attack, yet, there appears to be evidence of state-sponsored involvement in shutting down Wikileaks.

So, after suffering nearly 1/2 million attacks per minute on its own servers, Wikileaks then moves to Amazon. Predictably, Amazon pussies out, citing a non-existent violation of their TOS, and shuts down the site. Daniel Ellsberg, the hero who released the Pentagon Papers and thus set up some of the most profound First Amendment doctrine, has predictably struck back at this corporate censorship. His open letter to Amazon is powerful stuff. 

So, Wikileaks is on the move again. This time to "wikileaks.org" in the U.S. and Wikileaks mirrors in France. Fast-forward to December 2, 2010, where Wikileaks announces that it has a massive dump of documents that will absolutely destroy the veil obscuring the shady dealings between the U.S. and multi-billion dollar giant Bank of America.



Still following? Good, because shit is about to...Well, you know.



Anyone paying attention to the role of corporate influence in the U.S. can figure out what happens next: The war begins in earnest on Wikileaks. It is only after this disclosure that Amazon removes the site citing an undisclosed term of service. What about Wikileaks.org? EverDNS, the Vermont-based server for Wikileaks.org in America pulls the site, also citing a trumped-up violation of TOS.

Fine, you say, there are still European servers, right? Places where free expression and whistle-blowing/gonzo journalism are still taken seriously? You'd be wrong. First, France pulls Wikileaks' main site on the basis of no established French law. Fine. Move on the mirror in Switzerland, wikileaks.ch. Only problem is, now the Swiss have pulled the site as well, again, citing to no violation of law; information just goes down the memory hole.

Meanwhile, Assange is the apparent victim of trumped-up "rape charges". Swedish authorities have, since the Afghan/Iraq war dump stated that he's wanted for rape. After declining to prosecute for nearly a year, they now are attempting to re-file the charges. But, was there rape? Ummmm, no. The basis for the sexual assault charges are now apparently "sex by surprise" in having "unprotected sex".

And, on the homefront, American corporations are still fighting the BoA release tooth-n-nail. For instance, PayPal today announced that it will no longer permit donations to Assange's operation. And, it appears as though Twitter and Facebook are about to silence Wikileaks as well.


Sounds like an Infowar to me...


While all of these governments/agencies/corporations are shutting down the site in advance of the lending documents' release, the U.S. Government has apparently decided that a spoke truth can be obliterated if you just don't talk about it; and that the words/actions of our nation didn't occur if only they don't mention it by name, or try to ham-fistedly deny access to the documents. 

For instance, the Library of Congress, the largest repository of human knowledge in the world, has denied access to any site which could potentially discuss/release the cables. As the NY Times reports, the Government has jumped the shark in a more pernicious way, by ordering employees not to discuss the contents of the cables.  I shit you not. Government employees, many of who's work went into formulating the policy and actions described in the cable, cannot discuss, even amongst themselves, what work/words/actions actually got released.

As though administratively-required amnesia has ever worked.

The most recent head-in-the-sand, Orwellian approach is threatening grad/law students not to discuss this information that is already in the public sector. As Above the Law wrote today, several law schools are assisting the government in chilling, unconstitutional prior restraint of free speech. The pre-emptively bullying reads as follows (from BU School of Law):


Today I received information about Wikileaks that I want to pass on to you. This is most relevant if you are going to apply for or have already applied for federal government positions. Two big factors in hiring for many federal government positions are determining if the applicants have good judgment and if they know how to deal with confidential/classified information. The documents released by Wikileaks remain classified; thus, reading them, passing them on, commenting on them may be seen as a violation of Executive Order 13526, Classified National Security Information. See Section 5.5 (Sanctions).
For many federal government jobs, applicants must obtain security clearances. There are various levels of security checks, but all federal positions require background checks. As part of such checks, social media may be researched to see what you are up to, so DO NOT post links to the documents or make comments on any social media sites. Moreover, polygraphs are conducted for the highest levels of security clearance.
I have not yet heard any fallout about specific individuals, but we wanted to give you this take on the situation.
Maura Kelly
Assistant Dean for Career Development and Public Service


Ladies and gentlemen, this is an info-war. Rather than asnwering the fucking question, such as why the U.S. State Dept ordered spying on the UN; rather than discuss our uncomfortable ties to the Saudis; the failings of our policies in the Middle East; the torture that created hundreds, if not thousands, of new Jihadis, our government would rather silence the voices, pretend the words were never spoken, and then threaten and bully its citizens in any means at its disposal.

Chilling doesn't do this justice.
Perhaps our "leaders" would be better served by actually going back and reading the words of some of our Founders with respect to information, the press, and an engaged citizenry. In fact, a guy named Thomas Jefferson once said "Where the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe."

Good advice, what else did he have to say?

"The light which has been shed on mankind by the art of printing has eminently changed the condition of the world... And while printing is preserved, it can no more recede than the sun return on his course." --Thomas Jefferson to John Adams, 1823. ME 15:465

"Our liberty cannot be guarded but by the freedom of the press, nor that be limited without danger of losing it." --Thomas Jefferson to John Jay, 1786. 

"Our citizens may be deceived for awhile, and have been deceived; but as long as the presses can be protected, we may trust to them for light." --Thomas Jefferson to Archibald Stuart. 1799.

 

It's about time we fucking listen, I'd say.


In our failing democracy, we can at least count on boobies, Katherine Zeta-Jones' incomparable beauty, and the two combined.

 

 

-d.s.







READ MORE » Welcome to the "first serious infowar"

The Feds are tracking you...in real time.

Without a warrant.

The DOJ, without a warrant or court order, have been utilizing a system known as "hotwatches" to track individuals of interest. The only time, upon administrative approval of this domestic spying, that a court is involved is not to safeguard the privacy interests of American citizens, but to issue a gag order to the Banks and Credit Card issuers for non-disclosure.




Really, I shouldn't be surprised at this point.

 

Check out the DOJ presentation obtained through FOIA requests by privacy advocate Christopher Soghoian


DOJ powerpoint presentation on Hotwatch surveillance orders of credit card transactions                                                                


Lest anyone think the damages wrought by the Bush Administration (and sadly, still continued by the Obama administration) simply don't affect anyone but foreigners and terrorists, let this be a warning to you. Our civil liberties have been eroded so terribly over the past decade, that we may never fully get them back. And, don't count on courts to help you either; the federal courts have turned into one huge rubber-stamp for the creeping surveillance society that is a very real threat to us all. Police state? Not yet. Getting there? Bet your ass, we are.



Remember when the boys in blue were your neighbors and "protected and served", and were not militarized thugs who treated every citizen as a potential enemy.




-d.s.
READ MORE » The Feds are tracking you...in real time.

"A travesty gross enough to make a blind statue cry"

So, spoke the 20 y.o. sexual assault victim, "Ashley". Ashley had been raped by a youth counselor, inside a courthouse, when she was 15 years old.

The perp, Tony Simmons, got ten years probation, and no jail time for sexual assault on teenage girls under his supervision. "Ashley", however, received a 12 month sentence on an unrelated charge of falsifying a police report.

The NY Daily News has the horrifying details.


[Ashley] expected Tyson, as Simmons was called, to bring her up to the courtroom where she was scheduled to be sentenced for filing a false police report
Instead, the elevator descended to the basement. The 42-year-old counselor pulled down her pants and raped her with calm, practiced precision that made him all the more terrifying.
When he was done, Simmons pulled her pants back up and the elevator ascended to the courtroom. He raised an extended index finger to his lips in a mute command for her to say nothing.
Just moments after being violated, Ashley was seated next to her mother and before the judge. She was too shocked and terrified to report the attack.

 

Now, however, the judge is rejecting Simmons' plea: A humane first step. And, if there were any justice, he'd be behind bars:


[Judge] Mullen said she could not go ahead with the promised sentence of probation she made in September because a Department of Probation report showed Tony Simmons showed no remorse - and even blamed his underage victims.
Calling Simmons' comments in the report "nothing short of appalling," Mullen said he "seems to suggest he did his [rape] victim a favor."



Usually it's really better if she's blindfolded. This probably wasn't one of them.





-d.s.
READ MORE » "A travesty gross enough to make a blind statue cry"

How to tell that Americans have more money than sense...

Just the way America's oligarchy likes it...9/10ths underwater.



Ta-Dah! Chef Michael's Canine Creations, a "gourmet" dog food that goes for roughly $3 a pound at Petco. In a nation where one in four children go to bed hungry and one in five families live on less than $10,000 per year, this is just absolutely a disgusting, shameful hallmark of the broken capital system that increasingly divides the haves from the have-nots.



Eat up, Fido...There are almost a million children who cry at night with hunger pains...



READ MORE » How to tell that Americans have more money than sense...

What asswipes...literally

Proving once again that rich does not mean classy, some douche canoes in the UK have taken waste to a whole new, scatological low.



 God, all this money, and nothing to spend it on. Wait a minute! I've got an idea!!!



Are you sitting down for this one? Ever heard of cashmere? The insanely hard-to-produce sheep's wool that takes an obscene four years to grow and harvest? It's incredibly soft, flexible, warm, only grows a few places in the world, and -as one would expect, holy-hell expensive.



Available for a mere $348 at your local Brooks Brothers...


Not content to bedeck themselves in, what must be admitted is, one of the world's most opulent fabrics, the fine folks at Waitrose have decided that this incredibly versatile and lovely fabric is just as well suited to wipe the ass of the rich.

Yes, you read that right. Cashmere Toilet Paper.


For many years, cashmere has had an exclusive aura surrounding it. Fashion retailers today in London’s swanky Burlington Arcade sell beautiful cashmere sweaters for £300 and even a pair of gloves a pricey £70, so this innovative new product makes cashmere affordable, but none the less exclusive.

Carla Smith buyer for Waitrose comments, “Cashmere provides that stamp of quality to any fashion garment from a designer suit to the finest luxury knitwear. It’s indulgent, it’s stylish and it’s helping provide that extra softness to our new premium bathroom tissue collection.”


In essence, you are now advertising to the world A) you're a wasteful twat, B) you have more money than good sense, C) fabric that could be used to clothe the indigenous people where they fucking grow cashmere is better suited for your ass, and D) your ass is as dainty as a new born baby's tummy. 

Way to go, asswipes.




I'd be pissed if I was the sheep...



.


READ MORE » What asswipes...literally

Welcome to Hell: Now serving #666

Ah, to be young, in love, and in the clergy...



Meet Bishop Walter Mixa, head of the Bishopric of Augsburg, Germany. Also, without a doubt, one of the most vile men currently walking the planet. Like many in the Catholic church, Bishop Mixa has become embroiled in the spate of scandals involving fucking pederast priests who can't bully little boys anymore in an interconnected, 21st century  pedophilia allegations.



 Whew. After that long, hot Latin Mass, I sure could go for a cold one...Hey, Tommy, stick your dick in this ice cream for a few minutes.



Mixa, currently the subject of a buggering investigation, recently took the unusual step of resigning in the midst of the investigation. More oddly, Nosferatur himself, Pope Benedict, accepted the resignation. When pressed about his reasons, Mixa emphatically denied molesting the fucking orphans in his care; rather, he admitted to...get this...beating them and physically abusing them.




This should make you cringe, and, unsurprisingly, it's one of the first images available when you image search "what the fuck".  As a general rule, humans can't abide children being hurt, even accidentally...much less inflicting evil or harm upon them.




Let that sink in for a second...the Bishop denies sexually assaulting children, and, instead, offers as his justification, the simpler time honored defense of "no, I didn't ass-fuck the orphans, I just beat the shit out out of them...



These are actual orphans in New York. There are many things that go through your mind. But, I'd bet my life you weren't deciding on whether you wanted to give them black eyes or shove your dick in their asses. 

That kind of evil requires a priest.



.




 
READ MORE » Welcome to Hell: Now serving #666

Felix Ortiz: Missing a brain...and taste buds

NY State Assemblyman, Feliz Ortiz
Not pictured, his head up his ass...


This may be the most asinine thing I've ever read in my life. The above gentleman, NY legislator, Feliz Ortiz, has proposed a bill to...ban salt. Via the NY Daily News:

"No owner or operator of a restaurant in this state shall use salt in any form in the preparation of any food," the bill reads....violators would be smacked with a $1,000 fine for every salty dish.
READ MORE » Felix Ortiz: Missing a brain...and taste buds

Amen. Food Allergies.

 
I have an allergy to smart-asses



One thing that perplexes me, and is something I ruminate frequently upon is the new scourge of alleged food allergies. I am not talking about fatal reactions to peanuts, but all of these folks claiming weird allergies to everything from sorghum and eggs and dairy to wheat and barley. 

I grew up in no less than 13 school districts, with no less than 15,000 children encountered. Want to know how many kids died from the school lunches, which were heavily laden with soy, nuts, whey, wheat, and the like.

Abso-fucking-lutely zero. 



They did, however, turn into armies of the diminutive undead.

 
Yet, you can barely turn your head these days without someone claiming some fantastical new allergy. If the incidence of these food allergies were so great, then humanity would have fuck-all never gotten off the ground. If all of the available grains were sickening 1/7th of the population; if easy protein like legumes and eggs were death-nuggets, then how the fuck are we still around. Why are there no cautionary tales in historical literature that read "thou shalt not eat a fucking omelette?" 

Simple. It's Bullshit. That's why. 



 
 Sniff. Sniff. I smell bullshit.



The Times of London has a fabulous editorial on the 400% increase of people claiming to have newer, more exotic food allergies. The entire thing is worth your read, however, enjoy some excerpts:

The nation is in the grip of an epidemic, but one very different from those usually written about, such as obesity, diabetes and binge-drinking. What makes this epidemic unusual is that it is not an illness or condition in itself, but the false belief that something is wrong with you. This mass delusion affects millions of people in this country, and it’s getting worse. It’s food intolerance. One in five Britons now claims to have a food allergy or intolerance, with most stating wheat as the problem. That is an increase of 400 per cent in the past 20 years. 
Now research conducted by Portsmouth University has shown that of those people claiming to have an allergy or intolerance, only 2 per cent actually did. 
The realisation that most people aren’t that special can be avoided by adopting a quasi-medical condition that sets one apart. It demands attention and consideration. It forces other people to think about them and make special arrangements for them. Only last week, a friend with recently self-diagnosed lactose intolerance came round for a cup of tea. “Do you have any soya milk?” she asked as the kettle boiled. I confessed I hadn’t and felt awful. It was then that I realised she was on her third chocolate biscuit. “Oh, milk’s OK in chocolate biscuits,” she said hastily. How convenient, I thought. 



Pretty sobering, but not entirely unexpected. Think about it 2% of the population are earnest, sincere and have legitimate concerns and/or medical condiction. The other 98% are self-important, self-obsessed, "look at me", lying pricks. So, quit being an asshat, and enjoy your omelette and dry wheat toast.




STFU and eat your lunch Billy.  You're not special.
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READ MORE » Amen. Food Allergies.

Got Pretense? Kill your Web 2.0 self.

 
Please note, that collar-popping is required.


Sometimes, I seriously debate killing my on-line self. There are whole websites devoted to destroying your Web 2.0/social media identity. The best known is probably the "Suicide Machine".  As the site advertises:
Liberate your newbie friends with a Web2.0 suicide! This machine lets you delete all your energy sucking social-networking profiles, kill your fake virtual friends, and completely do away with your Web2.0 alterego...Our service currently runs with Facebook, Myspace, Twitter and LinkedIn! Commit NOW!


 
Do it, do it!



But, there are of course benefits to some of these. In my case, I live in the middle of the country, with my friends and family scattered from North Carolina to New Mexico...so, not a cheap or easy or quick visit. So, some of these are undoubtedly good things; to connect with those you new, to get pictures of your friends and acquaintances lives; meaning I can't wholly commit Web 2.0 suicide. I am, however, thinking seriously of killing Mr. Bluebird over at Twitter.  And, the reason why?

Rampant asshattery and raging douchebaggery.

 
 
Empirical fact: 89% of the Twitterati fall between Categories 2 and 3.


Do you think I jest, or exaggerate? Au contraire, there are whole websites devoted to the assholishness of the 140-character world. For instance, check out the collected "twiticisms" on  Tweetdoucheand Tweeting too hard. Some choice nuggets include:

I gave my cleaning lady a raise today, even though she didn't ask, as my own little contribution to fighting the recession. 

Girl at the gym was checking me out, I could tell she wanted me. A Philly 8, but she had sweaty arm pits. I don't date girls that sweat.
Look, Im not saying Im better at tweeting than you, Im just saying.. 120 people care what i say, about 30 care what you say @MatthewDonnelly 


So, I think I'm going to off my Twitter, goodbye blue bird. I have no doubt that one day these media will have their place, but, for now...just too much clutter; too much douchery. It's a small step, but maybe one day I'll get around to just killing my entire web-self off. Until then, I leave you with the words of wisdom via DigiDonkey:

Being a great social media douche bag is obviously something a lot of people are interested in becoming.  There are plenty of  social media experts, webinars, seminars, guides, blogs, Twitter tools and other sources of information out there that will teach you how to be the best, or biggest, social media douche bag you can be.


 
Like you'd miss this guy




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READ MORE » Got Pretense? Kill your Web 2.0 self.

System of a Down Syndrome...

I think, and have always maintained, that an essential question women should ask of prospective partners is the following:

Do you like, listen to, jam out with, or own anything by a nu-metal band? Egregious offenses include Coal Chamber, the Disturbed, any Korn album past 1997, anything by Slipknot, and...most importantly...SYSTEM OF A DOWN.





Is there a difference between this....






 

This?

Trick question! Of course there is, and the answer is "gender".





This important message brought to you by musicians against anti-music.


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READ MORE » System of a Down Syndrome...