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Showing posts with label ecology. Show all posts

New Global Warming video

If you thought that 10:10's video blowing up little kiddies in the classroom was scary stuff, then take a look at this one...

Recently on the BBC, I was impressed to listen to a report about a music festival in Scandinavia that was only running on renewable energy.

Apparently, the site was next to a hydro electric plant and the festival was powered by plugging into their equivalent of the National Grid. Now, I thought that by plugging into the Grid for their power, they were taking a mixture of energy sources connected to the grid at that time, not just the one next door.

But the BBC cannot possibly be talking bollocks. It's the BBC.

So please can you arrange for my house to only recieve power from green, renewable energy sources in the future rather than all these sources that pollute the planet. I'm not sure how you do this, but if the BBC says it can be done, then I am sure you know the answer.

Looking forward to being able to push the big green power button,

Yours sincerely,

Ivor Bigbottie,
Green Acres,
Lower Carbon,
NE1 4T.

A song for global warming day

Today is 10:10:10 and is being marked by a day of action to force people to make a commitment to reduce their emissions by 10%.

I use the word 'force' advisedly due to a recent appalling bad taste 'mini-movie' - that's a propaganda video to you and me - which shows people being blown up if they don't agree with the eco-loonies at 10:10UK.

Anyway, here is an original song by me which I am submitting as my contribution to 10:10:10 day :

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Incidentally, the biggest contribution to greenhouse gasses is the carbon dioxide produced by people when they breathe out, so if we could get some of these prats to stop breathing...

1010 new TV advertisement

Those PR geniuses at 1010 have just released a new 20 second TV advertisement. See what you think...

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Roll yer own...

As my good friend the Grumpy Old Twat rightly points out, when a load of looney eco nutters invites you to "make your own poster here", it would be churlish to refuse.

Go on - have a go. And as we used to say in the old CB days "10 10 'til we do it again..."

Going Green

I just got a mailing from Homebase of all people extolling the virtues and economics of going green by installing solar electricity panels on my roof.

So in the interests of saving the planet, let's take a closer look at what's on offer :

(1) "Solar PV panels convert light energy from the sun into electricity. Although they work best in full sunlight, they'll still work if it's cloudy." But as I heat and cook by gas, I use most electricity when it's dark. I asked. They don't work at night.

(2) "Get paid for every unit of electricity you produce, and even more for what you don't use." Apparently this works because "you'll be paid up to 41.3p***** for every unit of electricity you generate and an extra 3p for every unit you don't use and export to the electricity network". Sounds great, but "***** Based on retrofitting a solar photovoltaic system of less than (or equal to) 4kW in an existing, eligible property. Additional costs may be incurred." Additional costs? Hmmmm....

(3) So how do we get the figures then? "Remote monitoring of your system, from a smart meter fitted in your home****." Whoops - more asterisks. Ah - "**** The performance monitoring service also includes automated meter reading and is offered free for the first year to give you confidence in your installation. If you'd like it for longer, it can be continued at a charge of £4 a month." To put it another way, they charge you to meter it.

So cutting right to the chase, let's look at the costings :

A typical example* (Uh oh - another asterisk!)

Cost of our home solar power system = £11,150
Total savings on electricity bills = £2,426
FiT generation payments = £19,866
FiT export payments = £721
Total profit = £11,863

Looking good? Well, until you consider that "With a typical installation, you could break even in just under 13 years, giving you another 12 years of profit. You could make up to £700 in the first year alone and benefit from a typical annual rate of return of over 7%"

Also the 'optional' £4 per month metering charge more than wipes out your export payments. So it costs more to meter it than you get for exporting it.

And there are a lot of asterisks, and a lot of uses of the words 'typical' and 'could' in there, so I guess I need to simplify it for you :

If you are not thinking of staying in your house for at least 13 years, forget it. If you go to work all day and burn electric at night, forget it. If you don't think lashing out eleven grand to save 'up to' 'typically' £700 quid a year is a good return, forget it. And if you think it will save the planet, forget it.

I know where my £11,150 is going. Where's the holiday brochure?...

Carbon offsetting is nonsense!

I'm off on holiday again in September and I've just got the invoice through for the trip.

On it, there is an optional "Carbon Offset Charge" of £2.83 per person. So let me see if I understand this - if I pay £2.83 then the plane engines will suddenly become more efficient and will belch less environmentally damaging crap into the atmosphere?

I don't get it. Surely the engines will belch the crap out regardless, and I don't get how paying yet another tax will help.

Well, it seems I am missing the point.

Apparently, by paying this money I will be helping to fund an environmentally friendly project such as planting a tree, building a wind farm, sticking a cork up a cows arse, or the like.

Or, to put it another way, the government will take my money and piss it up the wall just like they always do. It's just yet another left over old LieBour stealth tax...

... and I ain't paying it.

At last! A policy all the parties agree on...

The three main parties leaders issued a joint statement today having agreed to introduce a new 'Gravity Offset Levy" in the next Parliament

The leaders shake hands on their historic agreement
while demonstrating first hand the effects of their policy

A Bill will be introduced in the next Parliament which will prove that the UK leads the world in tackling environmental problems.

The statement said "We have complete cross party agreement to introduce a new Gravity Offset Levy which will enable the UK to reduce its gravity by 10% in real terms. Reducing our gravity in this way will have the following immediate beneficial effects :

Vehicle pollution will be reduced as everyone knows that lighter vehicles use less fuel. This will also apply to aircraft and diesel railway engines.
Lower fuel consumption also addresses the growing unrest over petrol prices
Wind turbines will spin faster as the blades will weigh less, thus improving their generating efficiency
Everyone will be fitter as less effort will be required to walk, run and lift things
Our newborn children will be less obese, as they will grow taller and thinner
Our cricket team will win more matches as they will be able to hit the ball further
Productivity will improve as everyday tasks will require less effort

And all this can be achieved with a modest per house levy of only £5,000 per annum which will be automatically added to Council Tax bills. It will enable us to half the National Debt within the lifetime of the next Parliament without us having to make any cuts in public spending."

Gordon Brown commented, "This is such an obvious new tax that I cannot believe I never thought of it before" whilst David Cameron added, "It's a fair tax as it effects everyone equally and everyone gets the same benefit."

For the Liberal Democrats, Nick Clegg added "It's not a new idea. We proposed it in our last manifesto but we are pleased the other main parties have finally adopted it."

Of course, not everyone is happy. The Green Party dismissed it as just another stealth tax masquerading as environmentalism, and Weight Watchers complained it would ruin their business.