Money, Money, Money

I can be a real snob if I want, whenever I want to.

Especially when it comes to screening potential clients. After a while, I've developed this talent for rounding up a guy just from the way he sms-es. From the way he choose his words, I can decide whether he's even worth texting.

I guess I've made this clear since Day 1 that I'm not doing this for the money. Simply recreational (but later decided that it pays t0o, so why not). That's why I can afford to be all snooty about it, pick and choose the lucky men who gets to shower their moolahs on me.

[Oh oh... phone call. It's the girl from the escort agency. t.b.c...]

Will tell you about that phonecall later.

As I was saying... Yes, ever heard about 'Pricing Strategy'? It's a marketing term and it is the reason why I've capped my charges to $150/hr. The cheapest girl on a social escort site that I've seen is $200, even that she'll have to split with agency for commission, while a street-hooker along Geylang is easily $40 a pop.

My personal ads would also clearly state one thing: Expats only.

Definition of expat: ex·pa·tri·ate (ěk-spā'trē-āt') - someone who lives temporarily or permanently in a country/cultural group other than the one he originally comes from.

MY definition of expat: rich angmoh (who's overpaid with an obscene amount of money that he doesnt know what to do with it)

At times, I do bend the rules a little. You gotta be either rich or angmoh. But still $150/hr.

I've fixed myself to that amount because it is targetted at men who can truly afford it. Not for men who have to scrimp and save to afford it. Locals will never pay that kind of price cos if they are that horny, they would know better where to get the cheap ones. So far I've only done one local guy; a newbie, so let that be an experience for him.

For me, it's either you can afford it or you don't. Some cheapskate ones would even try to bargain and haggle the price, making me feel like some fish at the pasar... It is a major turn-off. Usually when that happens, I'll just cut them loose and move on to the next one.

If you can truly afford it, you won't feel the pinch when you have to part with your money. Tonight's case scenario was totally the opposite. Another one of my misadventures that'll go deep in my escorting journal.

My client turned out to be a bleak, twiggy, mini-sized 26 y.o Indonesian fella. I dun have any problems with Indonesians. Really. I love Indonesians. The ones with thick wallets.

Firstly, my boy was late and he made me wait under his block for about half-an-hour. I waited till my mousse-up hair went flat. Apparently he is on his way home from work.

Secondly, he told me to take the lift up to the 12th floor, just to see him suspiciously hiding at the staircase. When I found him, he whispered that his flatmate hasn't left the house and that we would have to wait a while more. What made me flare up was when he suggested that I give him a blowjob on the staircase first while waiting for his flatemate to leave the house. What am I? 16? Make out at the staircase, you've got to be kiddin me!!!

When he saw that I was upset, he took out his wallet and showed the $150 that he has for me. That almost blurred my judgement for a while, until he said he'd give me a $20 deposit for a blowjob and pay the rest once the hour is done. WTF!!!!????

I was so furious that I just stormed away. We had already discussed this via sms that I need my payment upfront before we proceed. And to think that he's being very difficult with parting with his money, just shows that he actually can't afford it and the risk of him not paying in full at the end of the service was evident. So this time, I decided to listen to my guts and leave.

As I waited for the lift, he still had the cheek to say - "Pls dun leave, I really want to touch your breasts."

The lift door opened and before I stepped in I said to him," U dun want to pay yet you still want to touch?" I gave him one last glare and left.

I was cursing and swearing at the boy for wasting my time. But I wasn't like really fuming mad, but somehow felt a lil sad for him. He's probably working as a waiter, somewhere, yet still want to spend that hard-earned money on prostitutes? I thought I'm the only one with the whacked sense of judgement.

After tonight's episode, I am nothing but more focused on getting my desired target audience. Expats - rich angmohs. And I shan't settle for any less. One thing I've learnt from experience is that the ang-moh are definitely more gentlemen and they never, never haggle. Plus, they have all that money and that's where I've got my eyes on. I don't want the local's (MY definition of local: working class Singaporean/ Malaysian/ Indonesian) money. Their money is hard-earned and shouldn't be spent like that. Sorry locals, your money is not valid with me.

Another community service brought to you by the Ministry of Sex (and) Affairs.

xoxo.

p/s: Meeting the girl from the agency tomorrow at 2pm. Spoke to her over the phone and not surprisingly she sounds very lian, and speaks fluent singlish. If the discussion goes well tomorrow, I might. Just might... sign up as a freelance escort with her agency.