What's in a name, Benny?

The old Ratshitter has been poking his nose in again...

Apparently Benny is not happy with the names we are giving our children and is telling us that we need to go back to selecting proper Christian names which "bequeath an unmistakable sign that the Holy Spirit will allow the person to blossom in the bosom of the Church."

Well, ignoring the fact that it's actually fuck all to do with him what we call our kids, let's have a look at some of the names that have fallen into disuse and a few examples of good, solid Christian names.

When was the last time you met anyone called Hephzibah, Amminadabs, Zipporahs or Habakkuks? Or how about Abbos, Etheidwithas and Leocritas? Amazingly, all these were once quite common...

I have a grandchild due next week, but I don't think my daughter will be using any of those. Pappa is also apparently not impressed with "such profane appellations as Brooklyn, Peaches and Princess Tiaamii."

Perhaps these papally recommended gems would be more appropriate :

1. Jezebel, the Queen of Israel, later became shorthand for a fallen woman, a name perhaps attracting a degree of notoriety?
2. Nebuchadnezzar was king of the Babylonian empire. His exploits, which are recounted in the books of Daniel and Jeremiah, were praised by Saddam Hussein, to whom he was a hero.
3. Dorcas, a faithful female disciple "full of good deeds" whose death prompted much weeping, according to the New Testament.
4. Philemon, the recipient of an epistle from Saint Paul in the New Testament.
5. Gomer - no, not Homer! - was the wife of the prophet Hosea. 
6. Methusalah, the oldest person named in the Bible, said to have lived until he was 969.
7. Achsah was the daughter of Caleb, who offered her in marriage to Othniel in the Old Testament. 
8. Wilgefortis. According to a story dating back to the 14th Century, Saint Wilgefortis took a vow of virginity when she was promised in marriage by her father. Following her prayers for help, she grew a beard and moustache.
9. Zipporah, wife of Moses.
10. Radbod was Bishop of Utrecht around 900 AD.

There's a few crackers there, eh Benny? But if you think my forthcoming progeny is going to be called Wilgefortis Etheidwithas Radbod or Achsah Zipporah Jezebal then I reckon you might be sorely disappointed! I'd rather it was called Brooklyn or Peaches - or alternatively stick a red hot needle through my eyeball!

So who says the Papacy is out of touch with reality, eh?...