I am so fucking pissed but more horribly worried. So worried that I just might break down right here at JCO (See. I am such a mess that I ended up coffeeing at JCO when I've sworn my life to Starbucks). Why the hell am I eating donuts?
 |
| Cos coffee can't make you pregnant |
Recap. Here's what just happened:
I was called by Short-Dick-Sam (SDS). He assumed I will bring condoms, and I expected him to BYOC (bring your own condom), so in the end we had to do it raw, which I know is risky but I let it pass once in a while. The infuriating thing was, stupid SDS cummed inside of me, which I have never ever EVER allowed, even with boyfriends. No one!
After grabbing my $tash, I stormed off, obviously upset. And now, I am half shaking and waiting for the pharmacist at Watsons to come back from her dinner break at 8.20pm so that she can prescribe me the wonder-pills.
God forbid if I get knocked up frm this. I would rather die.
Oh no. My tummy feels funny. I NEED THOSE PILLS!!! *helllllppppppp!!!!!!!!!!*
8.20pm
::Watsons Pharmacy::
"Hi, do you have birth control pills"
"Sorry ma'am but those have to be prescribed by a GP", says the chirpy pharmacist who seemed like she had a good dinner break. Those 2 JCO donuts were the only thing I've had since morning.
Fuck. She doesn't have those pills.
Are there any clinics around here?...No.
Which clinic is still open at this hour?...
Ah. The 24-hr one near my house!!!
I had to abandon my orginal plan to hang out and soak in the F1 atmosphere at Raffles City. Only atmosphere now that has got my entire body soaked is panic and distress. These lips have been cursing SDS non-stop. Outside, the thundering roar of the F1 cars was drowned by the drumming of my heart. It has been 1 and a half hours since the sperms invaded my oysters. Oh no, I can just imagine them swimming up, up and away. I remember back in secondary school, during Biology class that a drop of semen the size of an eye-pin contained millions of sperms! I quitely prayed for SDS to have low sperm count or some kind of defect. I must take those wonder-pills to stop them sperms. Luckily it was easy to get a cab and I was in my very own street race to the clinic. How I wish the taxi driver was Alonso or Webber, instead of this ah-pek who has very slow :'( **on the verge of tears** My heart was beating so fast that I had to rest my right palm over my left chest till we reached the clinic.
9.00pm
::24-hour Clinic::
While waiting for my name to be called, I tried to rehearse my lines to avoid embarassing myself in front of the doctor. Now how do I say it with a straight face, without stammering? I tried to relax and calm myself down. So I picked up a magazine to read.
Are you mocking me? You're really not helping Fann Wong. Stop smiling! >(
When I finally entered the doctor's room, I was shocked to find that it was a male doctor. Usually it is a lady doctor. Oh no... how do I ask this fella for the pills?
"I was wondering if you could prescribe me some birth control pills?" I asked non-chalantly.
"Sure. When was your last menses?... Do you have children... Do you use protection?" Bla bla bla...
If SDS had used protection, I wouldn't be having a panic attack right now, halfwit!!!
The young doctor went on to ask me a string of questions before he explained how to take the medicines and its possible symptoms. The part that left me puzzled was when he told me to take the pills when my menses come and I have to take it for a course of 21 days.
Huh? I thought I need these pills to make sure that my menses come and I don't bake a bun in my oven?
At the risk of sounding stupid, I asked the doctor again to be sure.
"Oh, did you mean 'morning-after' pills? Sure, I can prescribe that for you." I thought I saw a little smirk on his face.
SO THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED?!!!! MORNING-AFTER PILLS!!! Who's the champion halfwit now?
10.30pm
::Home::
Back home I got more bad news. I had planned to run some pretty important errands tomorrow morning but my folks insisted that I run some errands for them instead. Being one who never refuses whatever my parents say or ask me to do, I obliged without any complains and then when into my room.
Breathe.... Breathe. Please don't cry. Pleaseeee..... I begged the tears not to fall but the waterworks did not heed my plea.
I felt so tired. So frustrated. So upset. So angry.... at everything! At stupid SDS for cumming inside me. For wasting money and taking the cab to and fro. For having to spend on medicine. For the horrible feeling of worrying that I could get pregnant. For not being able to enjoy the F1 atmosphere at Raffles City. For being hungry and didnt have time to eat since morning. For having my plans for tomorrow spoilt just to accomodate others. For not being able to tell ANYONE about this, come home, put on a sweet face and pretend that my evening was just fine and dandy.
Mostly I cried becos I was terribly, horribly and scared to death that I could get pregnant cos that was the only thing that I have of myself, reserved for my future husband, if I ever do find him some day, cos I have nothing left to offer. For who could ever love a prostitute... right?
If I get pregnant, I'm finished. My life will be in ruins. Maybe this is God's way of teaching me a lesson. This is supposed to be my last week of whoring. I remembered telling myself earlier this year - untill F1 weekend (cos thats when S'pore gets a lot of visitors who needs erm, 'company'). And then I will quit.
I cried even more when I thought about my boy, Meatloaf, and the hypothetical name of our imaginery daughter that would bear his last name. How I miss him since I saw him last weekend and how I won't share my feelings with him cos I'm afraid I'll scare him away. Furthermore, I don't deserve him. He doesn't know I do 'THIS' and I hate how I can't open up to him cos I have so many secrets and 'cigarette butts under my pillow'. My chest felt like it could just burst.
12.15am
::Bathroom::
.
Never have I been happier to see... blood.
.
.
.
Got my menses.
No wonder I felt so melodramatic. Also kinda explains the wild waterworks. What a fuckin crazy day... Thank you God.
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