Well, I've been to Stratford to take in a bit of culture - that's the genuine stuff not wot passes for kulcher these days!
Anyway, whilst there I engaged the help of a friend of mine who communes with spirits (not the type that comes in bottles) and took him along to Shakespeare's grave to ask the great Bard himself what he thought of the goings on in our election campaign.
This is what Will had to say about it all...
Medium : Mr Shakespeare, how do you feel our election campaign is going so far?
Bard : To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time
Medium : Yes, it seems to be dragging a bit, but what about the the TV debate?
Bard : Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more.
Medium : Unimpressed then. Let's turn to the manifestos. Labour first?...
Bard : And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Medium : And the Conservatives?
Bard : Nothing shall come of nothing. Speak again
Medium : I'm sorry - a brief loss of contact there. I'll repeat - what of the Conservatives?
Bard : Done to death by slanderous tongue was the Hero that here lies
Medium : Yes, they certainly have been attacked a lot by Labour. Finally, the LibDems?
Bard : It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
Medium : So you don't rate their chances. Any views on a hung Parliament?
Bard : What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet
Medium : And finally, if you were able to vote, where you put your cross?
Bard : I am hurt. A plague a' both your houses!
Medium : Thank you very much, William Shakespeare
Bard : I go, and it is done; the bell invites me
So there we have it. Quite clearly he is about as impressed with it all as I am.
0 comments:
Post a Comment